Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | Re: I feel So depressed and Helpless and have no one to talk to

Hi Mark, I really feel your pain man. I too feel like just when I took 4 steps forward, life makes me take 2 steps back. Just yesterday I ordered from Amazon 2 books: The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook, Fourth Edition and also Anxiety, Phobias, & Panic: A Step-by-Step Program for Regaining Control of Your Life. My problems mostly lay with what I'm making my mind do to my body and honestly, I'm treading in unfamiliar familiar territory. (I'm also listening to the self hypnosis CDs.) I think I've also developed a fear of food when I'm outside of my home.

This is by all means not meant to make you feel that you're better off than me or that your issues are in your head. I'm just venting as well and am glad if anyone will make it through my long ass post! This is why:

I've been screwed up since I was a little girl. I was always sickly. If we went on picnics, my Mom had to make my own meal separate from others because I would always get motion sick. As I got older, I didn't get as motion sick anymore and it was said that as you get older, you grow out of it. Not true in my case. I still get motion sick, it's just that I can fight off the feeling better than I did when I was younger. As a kid, I missed out on playing on swings, seesaws, going on school trips, etc. Later on in life, I was diagnosed with Meniere's disease which would explain the motion sickness because Meniere's is just an inbalance of the inner ear. To this day, if I plan a vacation, I don't get excited about it like others do because I know I'm going to have to fight the feeling of getting sick. I've been traumatized since little 'cause the memory is there. The triggers for Meniere's disease are so friggin' delicate it's unbelievable. Smells, sounds, and sight of certain things can make me queasy/dizzy.

I've had done to me a colonoscopy, endoscopy, sonogram of my organs, and blood work. Everything is peachy and healthy. That's when I was diagnosed with IBS. BUT, I still have some more probing that I'm going to request from my GYN. I have HPV (since 2000) and a lot of the IBS symptons mimic those of ovarian/cervical cancer and/or fibroids. So yeah, I'm panicky. I've got an appointment with her on September 10 and I'm freaking cause it'll be the first time that I go further away from home since January. I won't go into detail about some things I've noticed as it would definitely be too much info and if this site were only women, then I would.

If my mind is making me get sick, then my mind can make me get better. I'm trying to reverse the thought process.

When the hell did I become this person???

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Wendy IBS A thru Z
Taking it one day at a time...

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