Heather, I agree that not fat free (what a phrase, LOL) dairy is a problem. There seems to be something in the milk fat that is expecially problematic... to me at least. Smaller amounts of butter (dairy butter) cause more problems to me than larger amounts of oil or almond butter (measuring by fat content, of course).
I suspect that is the reason I have trouble with dairy processed cheeses like american, mozzarella, chedar, monterey jack, not to mention cream cheese, but it is hard to confirm given that even if those have ff versions, they taste terrible. Maybe that is part of the reason lots of other folks have trouble with dairy products (folks who are not lactose intolerant). It is difficult to avoid milk fat and not avoid dairy, because very little dairy products contain little milk fat.
Of course, my evidence is in no way statistically signifficant. My GI doctor, however, who I asked about dairy, said FF dairy should be OK (I told her what I usually eat and I didn't eat processed cheeses even before I got IBS) in the form of FF milk and FF yoghurt (things I eat all the time). My GI doctor also has IBS and she had no problem with FF dairy.
That being said, I agree one should start of by avoiding dairy, and treating it like all other potential triggers and IF. Once one stabilizes, though, I don't see why you should not try FF dairy. It's healthy, it gives you lots of protein and it tastes good. Why not treat it like IF -- try and if not a problem, enjoy?
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