Call me insensitive and difficult, but I worry more about my health than the feelings of people who CHOOSE not to accomodate my very real health problems. Would they force sugar on a diabetic? Most people wouldn't dream of such a thing, but they'll try to force me to eat ham? I don't think so.
I'm fortunate that my family understands and accomodates. My boyfriend's family, not so much so. It's much better than it used to be, and I think some of that is because of what I did the one year: there was NOT ONE SINGLE THING that was safe, so I didn't eat. Not a bite. Not with all the prodding, pushing, begging. Not. A. Bite. His mother was understandably a little offended, and told me that I should "bring my own food from now on", but lo and behold, this past year's Thanksgiving was 95% IBS-safe.
Some people take a while to get it. Some people never get it. All you can really do is stand your ground and hope they understand eventually that it isn't a phase or an attention ploy. And if they don't... well... I guess there's always the hotel-with-kitchenette option. 
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Re: Holidays at Relatives Homes (long post)
