Of your servers, at a restaurant, I mean. That's part of their job: to interpret the menu and ask questions of the cooks if need be. So ask! Ask how something is prepared, if it contains dairy, if it's cooked with oil. Ask for sauces on the side, in case they end up containing questionable ingredients. Ask, ask, ask. You don't need a guide or a book, you need to learn how to ask for what you need.
If the server is rude, take your business elsewhere. But honestly, most servers I've encountered in 10+ years of eating a modified diet are very accomodating. As a former waitress, I can say that we're not dumb - we know that doing what a customer asks equals a good tip. So be polite about it, and tip well, and you'll have no problems eating out.
Now, some restaurants, you're just going to have a harder time than others. I don't eat chinese, mexican, or italian anymore, because I can never find things that I like that are safe. Other Asian cuisines are a little more forgiving, as are Indian and any chain-restaurant-type-place, like Applebee's, Ruby Tuesdays, etc. I've even found diners to be very accomodating.
Unfortunately, none of this changes the basic tenets of the diet. You still can't have red meat. You are limited to chicken, turkey, and seafood, safely prepared. Depending on what kind of restaurants you're eating in, that could limit your options significantly. That's just something you have to learn to live with, like the rest of us have, no ifs ands or buts. There are a myriad ways these things can be prepared, and vegetarian food that doesn't contain dairy is still an option as well - there's no need for diet boredom at all.
Good luck!
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#1 lesson: Learn to ask questions
