Hey there girl- mine was worse for the first year also. You will slowly but surely find a stable point. And you are correct, everyone's IBS is completely different in severity. My M-I-L got me this new tea with chamomile and mint. It really helps when my stomach starts to hurt.
At first some of my family did not understand it either. Now that they see that I can't eat what they eat all the time, they have come to understand. My brother though, still does not seem to get it. He kept pressuring me to get a milkshake at a diner we went to and finally I just have to give him so gross details and that was the end of that conversation. Good Luck~