Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | Having an emotionally tough morning.....

I am not usually a whiner, but I am having a tough AM, probably just a little bit of a pity party, self doubt and miss my husband a lot type a thing and need to get it off my chest. For those that don't know, My IBS-D started last October, three days after my wedding. Apparently my body just couldn't take the stress of the wedding, the court eviction(finally got them out the day before the wedding, actually changing the locks and throwing garbage out that day), my daughter leaving for the Air Force..etc... you get the pucture. Anyway, it took me a while to figure out what was going on, all the while trying very hard to keep up a good front and not let my husband know what was going on, VERY hard since we also worked together. Of course, I finally had to tell him and he has been truly a life saver. Never thought a man(sorry if I offend anyone, but I've been hurt a lot) could be so understanding. Anyway, he left last week(8 days ago) to go home with his boys and visit his family in Missouri(where he grew up). I wanted to go so I could meet my in-laws but with my 4 kids and there schedules, my first GI appt, and to be honest, the thought of having to avoid almost everything his mom cooks(southern=deep fried to them)I just felt it best to not go. But here it is 8 days into it and I am missing him terribly, even though he calls at least twice a day(I'm spoiled like that). He had his 21st, yes 21st, high school reunion last night and didn't call and boy has it done a number on me. I'm not sure why. I know he loves me and would never stray, but for some reason I can't get the thought of all of his ex girlfriends out of my head. I know it's silly. Yet, it's driving me crazy, or at least I think that's what it is. I tend to be pretty hard on myself. Even though 95% of the time I know that he loves me no matter what, there's that 5% of the time that I feel like I am letting him down and that maybe he would be better off with someone else W/O all of the problems I have now. Part of it is the self image. Not only have I changed with the IBS thing I have put on about 8 pounds since the wedding and it keeps coming, especially since I was put on Celexa. In November I turned 40(he is 18 months younger), I found out I have arthritis in my lower back, neck and shoulder and am in constant pain. Sorry for the pity party, I just really needed to get it off my chest and look at it objectively to see how utterly rediculous it is. He won't be home for 2and 1/2 more days...:( I think I'll pack up my two boys and take them camping and fishing tomorrow for a night. Maybe that will help take my mind off of it..:)

Thanks to anyone who has the patience for this pity party garbage and listening to my rant. I'm not usually this pathetic and self absorbed....Alyson

PS, just a cute story... Yesterday I took my boys (15 and 7) and my 16 yr old daughter to the beach. On the way back, my tummy got upset and well...it didn't smell pleasant in the car a couple of times. My two older kids were absolutely disgusted and gave me a little bit of a hard time. My 7yr old tells both of them " how would you guys feel if your stomach hurt all of the time like mom's?" They started again in giving me a hard tiem and he cut them off and said " NO, How WOULD you feel if you hurt all the time???" " Mom doesn't like it either!" I swear I could have just melted Other than my husband, he has been so sweet and supportive( hard to believe from someone so young). My other kids understand to a degree, as much as teenagers can, but it still grosses them out. anyway, I just thought that was too cute.

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Everything in life happens for a reason, patience will eventually tell us what that is......

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