Hello everybody,
You've all been so great about sharing your stories, I thought I'd share mine too.
I had my first colonoscopy yesterday. Well, I tried to have it. I guess about 10 minutes into it I began crying, writhing, and moaning, and finally told the doctor to "STOP." He did. Mercifully, I don't remember any of it. But now I have to reschedule the procedure in a hospital so he has access to a wider assortment of drugs, go through the day of fasting and ultra-extremo-lax (which, being D anyway, was way more than necessary for me), and lose another day and a half sitting on the crapper.
I seem to have this habit of making mountains out of molehills.
I don't want to scare any of you who haven't had your colonoscopies yet, since my results seem to be atypical, but I do have advice for you...
1. If you can fit a TV and VCR in your bathroom, it makes the time go faster and you don't get a crick in your neck like when you read a book.
2. Lemon-lime flavored sports drinks are better than Sprite for mixing with Fleet because you won't burp for hours afterwards. Plus, they contain stuff you'll need to avoid dehydration.
3. If you can find foam rubber for the toilet seat, your legs won't go to sleep. You can just throw it away afterwards.
4. Reading Harry Potter to the person giving you your IV will take your mind off what's going on. They usually can ignore you. (I got the Harry Potter idea from this board, by the way. Thanks!)
5. Memorize the locations of all the public restrooms on the route to the doctor's office, just in case.
6. Buy the softest toilet paper you can find. Just this once, don't get the cheap stuff in bulk at Costco.
7. Just in case you're the other person in the world who didn't find the colonoscopy a breeze, don't plan a dinner party for the next evening.
sperry_twiggins
Looking forward to the next go-round.
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One Strange Colonoscopy + Advice
