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My symptoms? I'm pretty bad still. I haven't been to a movie or a mall in years. These two places get to me the most. The lights, the loud music and sound, the waves of people really trigger the panic. All I can think is, "I need to leave. Now." I haven't been to the movies in a year, but I've been to a mall twice in the last six months, most recently two weeks ago. I made it! Even going outdoors spooks me. I don't drive anymore--fear. I don't take buses. I stopped going to University. Nightmares. The palpipatations...sweating...literally "blanking out" or being
"paralyzed" with fear...feeling so "panicked" that I can barely remember my name or speak...even the quietest sounds are amplified...it's a kind of feeling of being frozen...not being able to breathe. I'm still ultra-social phobic...I won't even go to a family function...I work out of my home... Wow! Thank you for sharing all this with me. Although my anxiety isn't to the same degree as yours, I do see some similarities. Do you have a good support system? Friends and family who understand and are helpful? It's been hard for me to share this with those closest to me because I've always been the strong one in my family, the one people come to for help or a pep talk or advice. Even my parents lean on me a lot, which now that I think of may have been contributing to the anxiety. No one knew about my anxiety or panic until very recently; unti then, they just thought I was a party-pooper (and with IBS-D this was somewhat true )!

Have you ever read the book Fear and Other Uninvited Guests? I recently read it and appreciated the way in which the author explained fear and anxiety: how it is useful, why people have it and how it can get out of control. She incorporates stories about her patients. The purpose of the book is to explain these feelings because, I guess, "knowledge is power" as they say; the author made a point that there is no quick fix or a miracle 10-step "overcoming your fear" plan. I highly recommend this book, even for those who don't suffer from anxiety.

I have certain visual/audio triggers due some past issues, and then there are the IBS parallel issues, the gut response factor you might call it, D, Yep! I know I feel alot of things in my gut, something scaring the crap out of me, it sometimes is as silly as the lighting, or a smell that I cannot name... When I was in the middle of a panic attack, I felt extremely sensitive to everything--a slight breeze would worsen the attack, the sound of people talking would overwhelm me, smells, lights, just aggravated the panic and I could feel my blood pressure rising. My fear only increased because I din't know what was happening or why. My anger arose out of the frustration I felt with myself and my body. I've tried NLP,
Hypnosis, but to no avail--one of those resistant minds, I suppose. Cognitive therapy has helped to some degree. I feel the same about cognitive therapy. I'm more aware of my negative thought patterns, but the truth is that sometimes I'd have attacks for what seemed to be no reason or I would wake up in the middle of the night panicking. What--was I thinking negatively in my sleep?

Enough rambling. Buspar helps me focus enough to get things done with a degree of serentity/peace of mind I haven't known in what seems like forever. When I read your posts, you come across as a very creative, sincere, and wise person. I think your success with Buspar, the serenity and focus, comes across in your writing.

Rescue Remedy is a great aromatherapy oil, incidentally. I'll have to find this and give it a try!

Thank you for sharing your experiences. I don't know anyone else who has tried Buspar, so your comments have been extremely helpful. You don't know how much it means to me!

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