Hi Lynx, I am so sorry that you are feeling so much pain right now. I am sure at some point all of us have considered "ending it all", but that is not the answer.
I have gone through the same agony but I did not give up. I hung in there and fought for my right to live as well as non-IBSers.
I have been symptom free for eight months and believe me it took a long time to get here. I would be in meetings and have uncontrollable gas. Not only was it painful and embarrassing, but the odor would clear the room. I felt I had no life anymore, no control. My collagues were very unkind; they always said "something stinks, must be one of Lene's farts". I cried many days and nights because of IBS. I had a boss from "HELL" who kept me constantly stressed which did not help the situation any. I called in sick 76 days out of the year and got written up because of it, I was told by co-workers that it was "all in my mind" and maybe I shoud see a psychiatrist. I can go on and on with tales of woe but what it comes down to is whether you will rule your life or let IBS rule your life.
I am on Lexapro (10mg) per day, I eat IBS safe foods, take my peppermint caps and acacia, drink lots of water everyday and pray.
You have my deepest sympathy and I will be praying for you.
Hang in there, fight the good fight. Let all thoughts of suicide be gone from you. You will find what works for you I promise.
BIG BIG HUGS!!!!!
Lene
-------------------- God never promised life would be easy, but he did promise to provide a way out!