Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards

I basically say the exact same thing. My friends all know what I have, and nobody has ever made me feel embarassed. My family has been AMAZING, and my sisters-in-law both always make sure they serve at least one thing I can eat. My bf knows and is totally sympathetic, as long as I leave out the details. I think most people would not appreciate hearing the details of you symptoms, but would also be pretty understanding if you just say exactly what Melissa and I say "I have a chronic stomach problem that is usually under control, and sometimes isn't." I had to use that exact line today, when I missed a group thing at my law school. I felt bad for leaving my group hanging, but I explained that I couldn't leave the house. 'Nuff said. Everyone has had D, everyone wishes it would never happen again. If someone ever presses me, I will tell them I have IBS. I am not ashamed of it because I didn't choose to be this way. Most people will either say "oh" and leave it, or say they've never heard of it and ask questions out of pure curiosity, which I don't mind answering. I've almost never had someone say "ew gross" or tell me that it was all in my head. Most people are pretty cool. I am careful not to get all "poor me," because I think people tire of that act pretty quickly. I try to make light of it, and say something like yeah when I'm sick I really feel awful, but I control it by watching what I eat very carefully, and I generally feel great! And I try to smile the whole time I talk about it -- which may seem weird but I think it makes it easier for people.
For your close friends or family, you might consider having them listen to the fourth disk on the IBS Audio Program 100. (It's a hypnotherapy program that has helped a lot of us. Info is on the Hypno board). The last disk is specifically to explain IBS to others. Be warned, though -- it's pretty graphic. This is only for people who won't get grossed out, and who really need to know the details of your illness in order to help you get through each day. Because you MIL has a medical background, maybe this would be a good way of explaining to her, since it's pretty technical and talks about all the tests and the symptoms and everything. Also, sit down and read through Heather's The First Year IBS. There is a particular line in it that says something like even though the symptoms may be caused by your brain sending the wrong signals, the pain is very real and not in your head. You might say something to your MIL like, I don't know what is making me sick, maybe it is my stress or something emotional, but the symptoms are very real and I'm making an effort to control them. Maybe that will help, since she'll still get to believe that the IBS is psychologically related (and it very well may be), but she'll also have to accept that no matter what the cause, you legitimately do feel ill, and she's in a position to help you.
Alright, I've rambled enough. Very good luck to you.
Panda

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Amanda

I live in the Big Apple, but I don't eat the skin

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