Dear Tina,
I've been wondering when you would be hearing about that test. I understand your nervousness, it's VERY hard to face the prospect of a life-changing diagnosis. I remember when I first started to suspect that I had Crohn's and my doctors first started to affirm that I may (and then eventually diagnosed it) my mind went on rollercoasters! My husband, who is as steady and unswayed as a boulder in these types of situations - spent hours with me while I agonized over what might happen. But that is part of that point here - I was agonizing over what MIGHT happen and getting way ahead of myself - I still do sometimes because I'm a worrier and I will easily obsess over something minor until inside my head it is the worst thing that ever could be. When something like this happens, it is good to talk with someone who is a bit removed from the situation but also cares about you and will therefore help to ground you a bit - these things are not to be taken in leaps and bounds, it's too much to swallow - one step at a time. That's the first part of my sermon...
Today when the doctor tells you what he saw in the tests, remember that whatever he says, YOU are still the same person you were earlier this morning. You still have all the same qualities inside you and all the same tallents and abilities and no one is taking that from you - not Crohn's, not IBS and (not that any of us have to deal with anything like this - thank God!) but not even cancer or terminal illness could take that away. Certain aspects of your life may change a bit, but your life will go on and there's no reason to believe it will not be as fulfilling in the future as it is today. I will also say that there is so much more they can do today with Crohn's than they could before, research has been profitable. If you do have Crohn's, don't think it's an immediate sentence to years of missery. I can say that it is likely you will have need to up your skills on swallowing handfulls of pills, but side effects could be minimal. Many people with Crohn's achieve remission for years at a time. Although a majority do require major surgery at some point in thier lives - I intend to stay in the minority that doesn't! Now I need to print out this post and stick it on my wall to remind myself to stay positive - because it is hard not to get down about it.
Just remember, either way, there are so many people who care about you and we will continue to support you no matter what. Please let us know what you hear when the news comes through, and feel free to email me personally if you feel you need to (mindyj33@hotmail.com).
Big hugs and I'll be thinking about you lots today.
Min
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Encouragement for Tina <<<hugs!>>>>
