Reged: 08/09/04
Posts: 2996
Loc: South East Michigan
Thanks so much!! I am just having a hard time right now. I know I need to start dealing with this one day at a time but it is hard. I just keep thinking about the future and how much I don't want it to be like this. I want to be happy again I just want that so bad. I keep bursting into tears today. I hate this person I have become. I want me back. I need me back. My family needs me back. Those two days were like heaven and now it seems like this is even harder for me deal with after them. It was so nice to joke and play and have fun again. I have been like this since July and my doctor kept telling me it was a pretty easy thing to control but I am not finding easy at all. I just want to beg someone to give me life back, but who do you beg!!
I am so happy for all the people who are doing so well. Like you and Shell. I am just scared I will never reach that point. I am sorry I am rambling but I got my hopes up WAY to high with those couple days, and now I have to start rebuilding my defenses.
Thank You so much Laura Sue. I am sorry for dumping this all on you. I just don't have anyone. I realy miss my mom. Even when I call her she is ussaly to busy to talk. She has two little kids now. I know my hubby is sick of hearing it. He would never say that but he gets this look on his face when ever I bring it up. So I have been trying to act realy up beat and happy when he is around. I am just realy sad and lonley right now. Thanks
Posts
Re: Laurs Sue (kind a long)
I just want that so bad. I keep bursting into tears today. I hate this person I have become. I want me back. I need me back. My family needs me back. Those two days were like heaven and now it seems like this is even harder for me deal with after them. It was so nice to joke and play and have fun again. I have been like this since July and my doctor kept telling me it was a pretty easy thing to control but I am not finding easy at all. I just want to beg someone to give me life back, but who do you beg!! 
