Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | fear of stabilising???!!!!

this may sound weird and I want to make it clear I definetly don't feel this way all time...only a very small amount of the time...and I pray each day to stabilise...BUT
do any of you get secure in your ibs, its predictability, or unpredictability more like, and when you stabilise, do you get a weird sense of fear???
Like I fear its too good to be true. Last night for the first time in months (my ten year long ibs deterioated terribly four months ago from C to D following a tummy bug) I had a normal bowel movement. Normal urge, normal log etc etc I have been working so hard on my diet....I know I deserve this...but I was so shocked by not being C as I have been for the past few weeks that I went and ate a whole load of white bread (which makes me very C and I cannot tolerate) just to bring myself back to C...like I wasn't ready mentally to accept that I might be able to admit soon that I am healthy again. And also the fear that it will return to bite me on the bum and my hopes will be dashed.
It seems to be the same reaction as when I first got a job after being a student..I had spent years in overdraft and after a few pay checks suddenly I saw my bank account had a positive sign infront! The first thing I did was to go and buy my family a present to put myself back in the minus because I knew that that money was the beginning of my savings for a dream round-the-world trip...and I wasn't quite ready to start realising that the dream may come.
I have had a horrible four months....and I am scared to hope that this may be the pot of gold at the end of a dark tunnel.
Am I alone in these sentiments????
With love XXXX

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Feel the fear and do it anyway!

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