In the future, I would eat elsewhere.  I don't care if it seemed like they were being "nice" - that cook was an ass, and the waiter was a jerk too for pointing it out. You're a paying customer, and it's their job to accomodate you. I used to work in food service; if I'd ever told a customer that a cook threw a hissy fit over a special request, I'd have been fired.
Anyway.
I would try egg whites alone, at home, cooked by you, just to be on the safe side. While it's true that you can develop a food intolerance at any time, and egg products are a reasonably common one, *most* people with IBS can do just fine with egg whites. Since you said that it was "swimming in butter", I think it's more likely that the butter/cheese and the resulting fat content were the problem. You didn't mention if you had any plain bread with the meal, either, so I'd say that the fruit could also have been a problem. (I can't eat fruit at all without soluble fiber first.)
That said, I'll say that it IS possible to be egg-intolerant. I'm not allergic, but I've had problems with egg whites in the past, so I just skip them now.
Now, if you decide to write off eggs altogether, what you do with recipes that call for eggs depends on what the recipe is. In a lot of baking recipes, I increase the baking powder and add a little water. In recipes like meatloaf, I just skip it - you don't really need it. In recipes that are very egg-intense, like quiche, you can try using tofu and a LOT of spices, but I've never had that work. A lot of egg dishes, like omelets, you just have to kiss goodbye for good.
Good luck!
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