OK here's the deal. When i was 13-14, my tummy started going haywire. in and out of doctors, prescribed various meds that never worked, some docs said increase fiber intake, others said eat only cooked veggies and no salad, no one had a straight answer. i tried acupuncture for months with no success.
when i was 17 i was scheduled for a colonoscopy. at UCLA. i went in, incredibly freaked out, after having just given myself the 2 prescribed Fleet enemas, holding each for 30 minutes. (can i say misery?) anyway, at the GI's office i was terrified. they said, calm down it's not that bad, we have to do this. let me tell you how calm that made me. anyway, they proceded with the colonoscopy; they NEVER put me to sleep, or even gave me a freaking sedative to calm me down. afterwards my mom met me. even though i specifically told her i didn't want to see her because i knew i would be feeling very humiliated. (i do know she was only looking out for me, but still.) anyway, immediately after my backside was rather full of air so i had to race to the bathroom. but i knew people were out there and could hear me so i held it even though it was incredibally painful. by the time i got to my car everything had worked its way back up into my body and i was in so much pain i could barely drive home.
then the nightmares began. i could not get over the feeling of violation i felt from the procedure. i could not forget feeling my abdomen as a tube was snaking through it, and it hurt so bad. i kept having nightmares and was too scared to tell anyone... so one day i decided to swallow 1 1/2 bottles of sleeping pills. (we had a lot in the house as my dad worked in marketing for drug companies.) i was absolutely ready to go. but after about 5-10 minutes i decided i couldn't do that to my mom so i called 911, who promptly arrived and fed me a bottle of liquid charcoal. if you've never had this, i assure you, it's disgusting.
on the way to the hospital i kept blacking out, and when i finally arrived i was hooked up to have my stomach pumped. can i just say, that the nurses aren't particularly kind to teenage suicide attempt kids? it was a horrible experience, and by about 3am the saline solution used to pump my stomach had coursed its way through my system and you can guess what that meant. couple that with the black liquid charcoal... black doo doo for 3 days. gross.
anyway, after that ordeal i was finally able to talk about it to my parents and we started looking for more ways to help the IBS. some attempts were better than others, but regardless, i knew that suicide was a bad idea.
a few years later and i found Heather's book. i'd been burned in the past, didn't know if this was "for real" gonna help, and after a quit perusal, promptly lent it to a friend with tummy troubles. haven't thought of it much until a few days ago when i found this site.
which leads me to the hypno thing. honestly, i had no intention of ripping anyone off. i notice my PM ability is disabled, the thread frozen. i don't want anyone to think i'm trying to scam, this is not my intention. read my reply in a related thread. and for the record, i called my girlfriend yesterday because i want my Eating for IBS back!
so anyway, i just hope that i didn't rub anyone the wrong way, that wasn't my goal.
julia.
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julia
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Introducing Myself (since my PMs are now disabled after 19 posts...)
