Thank you so much guys for your comments; I was getting quite emotional when I was reading them. It helps that there are people out there who truly understand what you are going through. I often question my own sanity (people always look at you funny and 'question' things like IBS, eating disorders and so forth- people are scared of things they don't understand and often imply that you are making it up, which in turn, makes me wonder if it is all just 'in my mind' or what?!?)
I think the work that heather has done with this website is phenomenal, it has saved so many people form very very desperate situations and I think she deserves some form of Nobel prize for her work! Yes Jez, I have been stable for a while, but since Monday through to today I have been suffering from v bad tummy troubles although as I am familiar with my own symptoms I don't think it's my usual 'IBS'. I got my dad to dig out our bread maker as I want to make some of Heather's breads (and it will save me some money, not having to buy specialist breads from HF stores all the time) and my dad made a loaf on Monday (may i add that the poor man cannot cook, bless his soul) Well, silly me, having recently been 'binge eating' on a night (searching out anything I can eat in order to put on weight and stuffing it down my throat) I came upon my dad's loaf. It wasn't cooked properly and come to think of it he will have used milk in it and since mon both my dad and i have had the most appalling diahorrea. I took some imodium and now im just bunged up with lots of gas. It's funny, because I'm used to having to live like this but u would think that with my dad that he was about to die! I tired to explain to him that THAT was what it was like to have IBS and that it wasn't just a one off but with u for life, but u had to learn to control it. He did his usual 'rolling his eyes' and went away to go drink some beer!
Interesting what you said guys about having protein shakes: my friend Marcus who designs my gym programmes for me mentioned having these but I dismissed it as I thught that those shakes were directly related to weight training (ok secretly in my head I am scared of putting on weight, but that's the eating disorder talking) I think it's an excellent idea as I have been trying to think of how to introduce more 'liquid' calories, as it will not overload my tummy. (the old doc's told me to get some fruit juice down my throat as well, I briefly mention that i don't have citrus fruits or fruit juice due to IBS so they look at me, frown and simply repeat the phrase "just drink some juice!" Fools!)
Miso, you are right, your situation sounds incredibly similar and I ave been seeking out natural therapies wherever I can (meditaiton, buddhism, herbs, slippery elm food in my herbal teas) When I lost the weight from January I had been eating as you do, smaller portions but incredibly frequently, at least 6 times a day. Great for the IBS, but not great for my weight. I was offered AD'S but for various reasons I refuse to take them (talking therapies are what I find beneficial, everything that has happened to me as a child has been bottled up. We suffered a lot of abuse from my dad's ex-girlf) My dad brought me up dead set against them as my mother (who i don't see) is schizophrenic and bi polar disorder and she was on a lot of meds and had some horrific treatments as well, so i suppose I don't really want to go there. I tried having seeds but they kill me (awful, as I LOVE seeds and nuts and I love them on bread!) but interestingly enough I have been looking at some almond nut butter spreads and some tahini (does anyone know if tahini is ok? It's vvvv high in fat!?)
I have built up my portion sizes pretty well now and eat at regular intervals (6-7 times a day) It's hard to eat though, as when u eat regularly u aren't getting really hungry?! Thanks for the hugs nelly, it means a lot to me  I don't think I'll ever lose the 'obsession with healthy foods' thing, but I know I just need to learn to moderate my behaviour. When I'm older and have my own place I would love to grow my own fruits and vegetables and make all my own foods; 'natural' food tastes really good to me and people don't understand why i don't ever crave chocolate or alcohol but to me those things just taste 'fake' and I would be just as well chewing on a cardboard box (I would prob. Enjoy the cardboard box more, some good roughage, although i would prob. Have to pop some acacia on it first!!)
Nelly, i've become pretty good now at taking 'print outs' with me and always carry Heather's cheat sheet with me to show them. Ooh, I hope my tummy settles, I know it eventually will, but it's just a royal pain in the bottom – serves me right for eating uncooked bread! (although I'm also wondering if the oat milk I'm drinking is disagreeing with me, only started it a week or so ago, as usually have soya. Contains vegetable oil and oats, I think)
Crikey, for someone who doesn't like to write on these things I've written a lot?! Thank you all again and bless you all. xx
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Thank you guys for your help! I will be def trying the protein shakes and nut butters!
