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Some of you are young and very thin, so your moms or mil will worry about an eating disorder. There is alot of pressure for young women to be thin and for a parent it is scary to see their daughters become too thin. It is understandable your moms will push food on you because they are scared of losing you.
I was hospitalized for an eating disorder at age 19 and it is a real and scary thing to suffer with. People die from eating disoders or end up with life long medical problems. Having gone through a real eating disorder I can understand why your moms are afraid.
That said, my suggestion is print articles from Heather's website that you feel will help your moms better understand what IBS is. There isn't alot of media stories that talk about our bowels. Who wants to talk about bowels?
Keep reassuring your moms that you desire to eat. Print you favorite recipes and give them to your moms to try, but don't tell them the recipes are IBS safe. Make a meal yourself that includes dinner and a dessert. When you go home bring your own snacks along.
It will take you going the extra mile to make them understand you have a real disorder called, IBS, and not an eating disorder. Remember there is more attention drawn to eating disorders than IBS.
Good luck. 
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Thanks so much for the words of encouragement, Barbara. My MIL has "issues." Illness or weakness of any kind terrifies her but she can't admit it. So instead she blames the person who's sick. Some people will unfortunately just never get it no matter how many times you explain because their own hangups make them totally irrational on the subject. She just can't hear me. Doesn't mean I'm going to stop talking though!! 
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Laura
Keep it simple!
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For BarbaraS
#98391 - 08/15/04 08:09 AM
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Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
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Excellent post, Barbara. I've never stopped to think what it must be like from my mom's point of view. I know she is scared-- I'm scared too-- but it must be doubly-bad when all you can do is observe.
I'll try to get her into some new recipes so she can be part of the solution rather than just an observer of the consequences.
Thanks again,
~nel~
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Ditto here! My parental unit is convinced that if I am "still" sick, it's because I won't do what's necessary to get well!! She blames me as the culprit of my own sickness too...
Thanks so much, girlfriend! It helps to hear it from someone who KNOWS.
~nel~
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Both of my parents are medical professionals (Dad's a doctor and Mom's a nurse) and I always felt like I was missing out on something because unless you're literally dying there is no sympathy from either of them. I'm only eighteen but sufer from many chronic illnesses and all I've ever wanted from them was a hug when I'm feeling like [censored], not the lectures and clinical-sounding advice they seem determined to give me at every opportunity. I'm new to the IBS boards although I was diagnosed over 2 years ago so when I ordered the books I had them sent to my parents house even though i've been living at school all summer. My Mom read the books and called me that night, and ever since she's been a lot more understanding and supportive. My Mom's always had trouble remembering what I can and can't eat, but since she read the books, she's been calling me with suggestions and promised to take me on a IBS safe-food shopping spree when I get home next week. My suggestion to everyone else is to try and convince your family members to read Heather's books. Its made a big difference for me and even my obnoxious older brother is being much nicer to me and has finally stopped accusing me of "faking" illness to get out of doing stuff.
Meg
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You are SO WELCOME, Nel! Glad I could help. Yeah, talk about "blame the victim." That's so hurtful. Isn't it great to have a place like this where other people actually "get it"!
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Laura
Keep it simple!
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Yeah. This place and you guys are lifesavers, that's for sure! I really thot I was alone...!
~nel~
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Meg, that is so great! Yeah, same thing with me with my fibromyalgia. I had my husband read "The First Year" book for fibro and after that it was like a 180 degree change in his attitude and understanding.
I'm very much in favor of all of us educating as many people as we can about all our illnesses. It's the only way things are going to change. In the 50's no one talked about cancer or mental illness and that has totally changed. Time for the same change about chronic illnesses and invisible disabilities. Right, sistahs?!
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Laura
Keep it simple!
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Barbara,
you hit that right at the spot. My mother has been battling colitis(IBS) for several years and also had H-thryoid disease.She has a overwieght problem and she still eats very thing she wants and ignores the problem. Well I'm not hat way and she is just now starting to realize she needs to change her diet. When I went to my folks house a couple of weekends ago, she fixed me eggs(with susbtitute) and turkey bacon and so forth everything was pretty IBS safe.
Then she convienced me to try a small spoon full of Tapica puddding at a resturaunt and by the end of the evening well you can guess a bout of D. Now she understands what I mean.
I don't have a eating disorder I have IBS. So just like many moms out there I'm one too our first instinct is to feed our children. Thank you Barb for the support, If it wasn't for this board I would be still battling to eat.
Sherri
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That's a really good suggestion, too. As soon as I have my official IBS diagnosis, I'm going to print off some materials and send them off to my brothers & parents - my mother, in particular. I'm lucky in that my family, as a whole, are understanding of "whatever it is that's bothering me", but I still don't think they quite understand why I don't just eat more and get better, you know? Great idea, Meg & Laura.
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