Need support
#92049 - 07/21/04 08:51 AM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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I'm having a really bad day. I went to see my psychiatrist this morning. Since seeing him last month, I quit taking the medication for bipolar disorder. I just wanted to take a little vacation from it! (I know that was stupid, but I wanted to see how I would feel without it.)
When I told him, he had a fit. I started crying (which makes him nervous. I've decided that's usually the fastest way to get escorted out of his office!) He said I have a habit of not wanting to follow his instructions, and I told him that wasn't true----that I had been taking the medicine faithfully for a year. He said he wasn't going to argue with me about it.
When he said, "You and I are just not seeing eye to eye on anything today," I panicked. I thought he was going to say he didn't want to see me anymore.
This doctor is supposed to be one of the best in the area. (He recently made the short list of the city's top doctors.) But he's very hard for me to read. He's very clinical, and not touchy-feely at all, just the opposite of my previous doctor.
I hate that the visit went so poorly.
I'd hate to see what he wrote in my file today. Probably---"Patient from hell. Get rid of ASAP!"
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{{{{{hugs}}}}}}
It sounds like your doc has a very poor "bed-side manner". If I were you, I'd start looking for a different one. He shouldn't have talked to you that way even if he disagreed with you not taking your medication. In my opinion he sounds very unprofessional.
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Some people aren't very good at expressing their frustration in productive ways, and it sounds like your doctor is one of them (despite being a psychiatrist  ).
From the psych classes I took in college, I just remember that it is considered VERY DANGEROUS for bipolar patients to go off their meds. He's probably just concerned because you chose to do that.
Besides, it sounds like he was in a bad mood before you even got there.
Don't sweat it, BL. Your psych isn't going to drop you! Next session will be a new visit!
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Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
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Unless the doc is paying you to come in for appointments, you're the boss here.  You/your insurance is paying for his expertise - he should be worrying about pissing you off, not the reverse!
That being said, part of his expertise is knowing to yell at you for taking an unscheduled med holiday. Don't do that, OK?
--AC
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Hi BL,
Doctors don't like it when we don't follow their rules. Sometimes, I think maybe we know better than they do. Anyway, I'm sure that is not the first time that has happened. He could have been a little more understanding about it.
Why do you want to get off the med? If it is helping you, I would stay with it. Sometimes we think we are getting better but it is because of the med and then we quit taking it and relapse.
Barbie
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Hey Beagle,
I'm sorry that your visit went so poorly  I don't know much about bipolar disorder so I can't speak to the whole going off the meds thing, but what I can say is I sympathize with you about getting upset when the doctor got mad. I'm the same way, I have terrible "white coat syndrome" and I hate it when they get angry with me.
Hang in there, I don't think he'll drop you as a patient, he's likely just frustrated that you didn't follow his instructions.
Take care,
Kelly
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BL, this doctor is paid to HELP you, not leave you with a feeling of worthlessness. If he cannot help you, then there are others who can.
He may be the best on the record books, but if he can't listen to his patients without being condescending, then he's the WORST doctor, in my books.
I thought poorly of my doctor when I first met him. I thought he was arrogant and not very helpful to me. I considered changing doctors immediately. But something told me to wait -- he didn't seem terribly knowledgeable about IBS. No surprise there.
I came onto the Boards about that same time, and I began to get a lot of support (of course) and a lot of research and advice. Next trip to the doctor, I was prepared. I told him what I wanted. It was almost 180 degrees. He seemed to respect me more, and even asked me questions about my IBS -- and about my other genetic condition. We had a lovely conversation in which I actually felt his "equal." Ever since then, we've gotten along beautifully.
I would suggest giving this guy of yours another chance, but his arrogance really ticks me off. If my doctor had said to me, "You and I are just not seeing eye to eye on anything today," I would have said, "You know what, you're absolutely right, DOCTOR!" And I would have picked up my purse and walked out. I would have gone home, called my HMO, gotten the name of another doctor in my area, and made an appointment. I would interview other doctors as well, until I found one I could talk WITH.
Truly, if you can't talk with your doctor, he's worthless.
Good luck.
Bev
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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Thanks for your concern, ladies. I was so mad when I returned from his office this morning that I just needed to vent.
I know, I know, I'm crazy for continuing to see this doctor. I not only can't "read" him, but his office staff sucks. His nurse rarely returns phone calls, and I signed the authorization on July 2 for my medical records to be faxed to the IBS specialist and it still hasn't been done. He acted like he had no clue what I was talking about when I brought this up this morning.
But it's not just his office---the gastro doctor's office hasn't faxed the records either---and they've had almost 3 weeks to do it. I told him I had had it with the medical profession!
And yesterday I had to call my insurance company to straighten out a huge mess with my deductible.
Does anyone in the medical profession care about people anymore?
(P.S.---I saw 2 other doctors in town before settling on this one, and both of them wanted to medicate me so heavily that I never went back to see them. I'll take my chances with my bipolar symptoms before I'll subject myself to these new anti-psychotic drugs. I tried one and it caused a very serious side effect that can be PERMANENT. Thank God it went away.)
I know I should find another doctor, but I dread the idea of going through that again. At least this one knows my medical history.
I don't expect anyone to have any answers for me. I just needed to get this off my chest. Thanks for listening!
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Barbie
#92151 - 07/21/04 03:39 PM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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I go through this stage about once a year. I think I don't need the medicine (probably because I am doing well on it) and I stop it. Then I start having problems again--and realize I do need it. Does that make sense?
Also, I have gained a tremendous amoung of weight while on it. I've talked to the doctor about it, and he says it's not the medicine. It may not be affecting my metabolism, but it makes me so tired and laid back that I don't have the energy or the desire to exercise like I used to.
I'm tired of being tired all the time!!!
But when I don't take the medicine, I'm mean and irritable all the time---and the doctor saw that side of me this morning! It's kind of like having permanent PMS. I'll pick a fight with anyone who crosses my path---the mailman, the clerk at the store, the telemarketer! I can get myself so worked up over the slightest little thing---and be in a rage in moments! I have embarrassed myself so many times by my outbursts.
I hate myself when I get like this, but I can't help it. I wake up MAD at the world---and myself.
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BL
#92163 - 07/21/04 05:42 PM
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barbie
Reged: 04/22/04
Posts: 2435
Loc: Texas
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What kind of med are you on if you don't mind my asking?? What about a smaller dose? Do you take it at night? Might be better if it makes you so tired. Do you take vitamins? Do you have a dog you can walk or a friend that can walk with you? That would be a great exercise and fun, too. My exercise consists of walking my dog, running around at super Walmart & mowing the lawn. My friend has an exercise bike in front of her TV and watches her fav soap opera while she pedals. Have you tried watching what you eat? Maybe smaller portions....Lean Cuisine's frozen dinners are great. Sorry for all the questions but I'm just trying to help.
Personally, if I had to make a choice I would rather put on some weight rather than be irritable....that's no fun. BTW I had the opposite problem....I lost too much weight because of stress and I just didn't look good. When you are old like me you don't look good too skinny... I am finally starting to put it back on. Guess we are never happy with the way we look!!
 
Good luck
Barbie
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BL---
#92172 - 07/21/04 06:45 PM
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jenX
Reged: 08/11/03
Posts: 3252
Loc: Richmond, VA
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i'm sorry it went poorly. for just a tiny bit of perspective: the worst thing about bipolar patients is that they are always wanting to stop their meds ( understandably! i'm not judging, just telling you what i've read over and over again). once they're feeling better, they want to try a vacation, like you did. unfortunately some of them never want to go back on and get worse, so you can see why the docs don't want you to do that. they don't want to "lose" you.
also, if it helps you remember why you should stay on the meds: you can cycle faster and harder if you go off and on the meds. every time you stop, you speed up the progression of the disease. if that's not something i'd write and hang up in the medicine cabinet as a reminder, i don't know what is! 
i understand that apparently some of the meds for bipolar can be rough? that's what i've heard. please, please, give your doc another chance. (not something i usually advocate!) i am assuming you're going back on the meds? i hope you are. see what you think of him at your next appointment. sometimes it's nice to have a little less touchy-feely going on when it comes to meds plans- those docs don't pull punches because they believe so strongly in their medications they've prescribed. that can be good or bad but you need a little time to figure out which one this dude is.
hope you're feeling well...
*j
ps: in case you are wondering, i was diagnosed as bipolar for a little while in my 20s but it turned out that it was a misdiagnosis. it was medicine-induced. my body reacted very strongly to a combination they were giving me and i got kinda low-grade manic which alternated with the depression that they were originally trying to treat (Prozac and Ritalin and i are not friends!  ). when i stopped the various meds i was on the mood cycling stopped and never came back (though i do have depression issues). that probably explains why the stupid meds they put me on for the bipolar kicked my a** hard and didn't work a bit on the cycling. anyway, that's why i have read a lot about the disease.
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Thanks for your replies. I appreciate your concern.
I'm trying.
I did start the medicine back up after leaving the doctor's office, but I'm already hating it. I woke up this morning feeling like I have a hangover. It makes me so drowsy that I can't function unless I have at least 1, if not 2, Diet Cokes after breakfast. That's how that Diet Coke habit started! If I didn't drink them, I would be in a funk all day. (I have to take the medicine morning and night.)
I am taking a very low dose of this mood stabilizer. The doc just says I'm very sensitive to meds. I always react differently from the norm---meds that make most people sleepy, such as Nyquil, Benadryl, Tylenol PM, make me so hyper!!! And antidepressants make me manic too, so I can't take those.
Wish there was a happy medium, but I've tried everything and haven't found anything that makes me feel "normal." I either feel drugged---or extremely hyper. That's my frustration.
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At the risk of sounding like a huge whiner, I will share this. I can't even write this without crying. I can't believe I'm having these problems at age 45. I feel like I have the body of a 90-year-old.
In the past year, my weight gain has ballooned to almost 200 lbs. I hate the way I look--- and I feel terrible, but for the first time in my life, I feel unable to control it. It is the result of a combination of things---
the medicine I have to take for bipolar, my IBS, and problems I am having with my feet.
I've always been a big exerciser, accustomed to walking 2 hours a day and also lifting weights. Because of my IBS problems, I cannot walk in my neighborhood (can't be away from a bathroom) So we joined the Y. Then I started having unbelievable problems with my feet hurting---even walking on the carpet in my house is painful!
A podiatrist diagnosed 2 structural problems with my feet. Custom orthodic inserts made for my athletic shoes helped for awhile, but now even those cause a sharp, shooting pain in my foot that keeps me awake many nights! The doctor's suggestion: take Celebrex for the inflammation---which causes WEIGHT GAIN!
I NEED TO EXERCISE, but how? I cannot work out at the Y in my bare feet, nor can I wear my athletic shoes with my orthodics without pain. What am I supposed to do, exercise in my slip-on sandals??? (The treadmill is not an option.)
I've spent most of my time lately at home, just enjoying my boys and reading. Which leads to my next problem~
Lately, while reading, the page goes blurry after 10-15 minutes. (with my prescription glasses on.) I was in tears the other night when my husband came home because I could not read the novel I had started.
I thought maybe the bipolar medicine was affecting my eyesight---- so that's one reason why I stopped it. After a month off of it, I'm still having problems with my eyesight, so I'm going to see the eye doctor next week.
Why is my body failing me at age 45? This is ridiculous!
No wonder my stomach is in knots!
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You don't sound like a whiner to me. You're frustrated, and understandably so. Hell, I get twice as frustrated at half the aggravation... so I'd say you're doing pretty good for the situation you're finding yourself in!
I don't have a whole lot of suggestions to offer... I just wanted to say that I'm sorry you're going through so much right now.
A quick question, though: if you don't mind sharing, what meds are you on for the bipolar? A dear friend of mine is bipolar as well, and I watched her struggle for YEARS on different medications and combinations thereof that really just did a number on her. I don't know what she's on now, but it's working out great - I could ask her for any input on your situation, if you like.
Oh - an exercise suggestion - have you tried yoga? I have Cyndi Lee's OM Yoga in a Box, it's an audio CD program with flash cards to show you the poses. I had my doubts, but it works out VERY well; watching a TV during a yoga program is too distracting. I'm suggesting it because there are a lot of poses that are done sitting or in other non-standing positions that might be a lot easier on your poor feet! And let me tell you, it IS a workout - I couldn't even get through the warm-up without breaking a sweat! 
Hang in there, BL!
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Quote:
Then I started having unbelievable problems with my feet hurting---even walking on the carpet in my house is painful!
A podiatrist diagnosed 2 structural problems with my feet. Custom orthodic inserts made for my athletic shoes helped for awhile, but now even those cause a sharp, shooting pain in my foot that keeps me awake many nights! The doctor's suggestion: take Celebrex for the inflammation---which causes WEIGHT GAIN!
I NEED TO EXERCISE, but how? I cannot work out at the Y in my bare feet, nor can I wear my athletic shoes with my orthodics without pain.
OK, this so-o-o doesn't fix a lot, but you have to be barefoot to do yoga. Does your local Y have yoga classes? Yoga also helps with IBS, so doing that along with the IBS diet might help you taper down the IBS drugs at least.
When it rains, it pours, huh? Take care of yourself as you climb this mountain...and hope you reach the top soon.
--AC
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STAY ON YOUR MEDS... It's very important.. Try diff. kinds until you find one that helps. My Mother was bipolar-manic depressive for yrs and yrs and yrs. We were always trying to get her head screwed on right. (Sorry for humor) But humor was our best friend thru 100 yrs of Mother and her problems. You pay your dr. he/she works for you, make them help you or get another one.
I hope you find some relief. I do understand. I think I could write a book on it. I grew up with a Mother who was sick all my life. I f you remember I have talked to you before on here. Be strong and be tough and don't give up. I t is very frustrating. Mother would go off her meds and then she would get so manic and or depressed she would have to be hospitalized. GEt your loved ones to help you if you can. Sorry you are having such a bad time, it will get better.
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-----Marilyn-----
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Exercise for BL?
#92261 - 07/22/04 08:48 AM
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Bevvy
Reged: 11/04/03
Posts: 5918
Loc: Northwest Washington State
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BL, my body started acting up on me when I turned 50. I also can't seem to lose weight, despite all my efforts. I know what you're talking about.
I used to run and loved racquetball, but I tore the cartilege in my right knee and damaged it even more by continuing to run anyway, taking shots to relieve the pain. Finally, I had to have surgery to remove all the cartilege. The doctor warned me never again to run, jog, do racquetball, tennis, NOTHING, no impact or load-bearing at all -- EVER. (I only have scar tissue as cushioning in my knee, between my bones, no cartilege at all.)
I took up rowing. There is no impact on my knee or my feet at all; all my weight is on my butt during the entire workout. Same would be true for cycling. I can bike ride with no problems.
It sounds like cycling might be too painful for your feet, but I doubt that rowing would. Can you invest in a rowing machine? I row with only a pair of socks on.
Alternatively, have you considered pilates? It's practically all floor work, and it's a helluva workout!
BL, please don't let this get you down. I know how you feel, because I've been there. I still miss my running, and when my friend tells me about her racquetball tournaments, it hurts. But I discovered rowing, which I enjoy even more than either of those sports. You can do the same, you just have to keep at it. You might discover pilates and become really great at it -- or (even better) I might convince you to get into rowing, which is a LOT of fun. I row to a videotape of an eight on the Charles River, and it feels like I'm right in that boat, rowing with the other 7 Olympic champions -- the exercise is over before I realize it, and when I climb off the rowing machine, I discover I'm dripping in sweat. Then, when I get on the water for real, it's fantastic.
Don't give up! Keep researching; you'll find a sport you like even more than walking and weight-lifting. I promise.
Bev
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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Casey.....
#92291 - 07/22/04 10:51 AM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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The medicine I take is Trileptal. It's kind of new in the use for bipolar disorder. Blurred vision is one of the side effects listed, and I know when I upped the dosage, I had double vision (which scared the heck out of me.) When I lowered it, that went away.
So I thought maybe the med itself was causing the blurred vision, but after a month off of it, I still have blurred vision after 10-15 minutes of reading. Hopefully, this new eye doctor will figure this out.
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Two great things to share---
The woman from the IBS research center at the University of North Carolina called to say they finally received my medical records from both of my doctors here. (I guess that crying and screaming yesterday got through to my doctor! Ha! See, being nice doesn't work!) So now the head of the clinic---who has specialities in gastro and psychiatry---will review them and let me know if he thinks he can help me. Wonder if he treats hurting feet too?
And also, our son is tied for the lead in a prestigious junior golf tournament being played here in town. He shot a 68 yesterday---and hopefully, he will do as well today to win the thing!!!! That would be great since this is his senior year in high school and he'd love to play golf in college. A top three placing in this tournament might get him consideration from some college coaches. Keep those fingers crossed!
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Bev
#92297 - 07/22/04 11:02 AM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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Thanks for the suggestions. You gals are giving me things to consider that I never thought about.
But rowing? I don't know about that. I have almost zero upper body strength. I will have to check into that.
And Pilates---I've heard of that, but I'm really not familiar with it. What's it like? Maybe the Y offers classes in that.
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AC.
#92300 - 07/22/04 11:13 AM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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I will have to check the Y to see if they offer yoga classes. I know it's supposed to be good for IBS, but will it burn calories too? I gotta get this extra fat off.
If you knew me, you would be laughing at the thought of me doing yoga. I have a hard time with anything slow and relaxing, since my mind (and body) are usually going 90 mph!!! That's why golf drives me nuts! I have to be going, going, going. (I would run from one hole to another, if I had it my way.) I have this incredible urge (and need) to race-walk or run. Too bad my feet are crappy, because I'd be running marathons. That's more my speed!
People are constantly saying to me, "Slow down! Whoa, here!" I feel like I'm gonna suffocate if I have to be still for awhile. Actually, I think I probably have ADD along with bipolar.
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I know you were kidding, but I don't have my "head screwed on wrong." Just because I have bipolar disorder doesn't mean I'm crazy.
I've had a pretty successful career, raised two boys, and I have a great marriage. I live a pretty normal life. I've never been hospitalized for it (close doesn't count.)
There are different types. I think I have the milder, gentler kind. Most people who meet me don't even realize I have the disorder. Please don't automatically think of me as some nut!
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I don't assume you are a nut at all. Sorry you misunderstood me completely. I was the one as an adult to help my Mother the most. We all just used humor alot to get thru Mothers rough times as she got older. She was a wonderful person and I loved her dearly. She would laugh with us, too. It just lightens the situation. Being bipolar is not really a laughing matter at all. I was just saying that Lithium for example helped Mother for yrs. then she had a emergency hystorectomy and after that developed scar tissue problems for the rest of her life. Numerous emergency surgeries because of scar tissue causing blockage in the intestines. They kept having to remove more and more of her intestines, then she ran into kidney problems caused by the Lithium. Then we had to test out new bipolar meds to screw her head back on.
I's just an expression , no offense intended at all....
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-----Marilyn-----
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Hey BL,
That sounds like great news  .....a gastro & psychiatry doc......WOW. I'm sure they will have you feeling better in no time. Sorry about your hurting feet.
Also, congrats on your son's great golf. Hope he wins today.
Take care of yourself
Barbie
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Well, my son finished SECOND in the junior golf tournament today. He was so disappointed, because it was so close! He was tied for 1st until the very end. Then he ended up in a playoff round to determine 2nd and 3rd place.
It was painful watching his lead slip away, knowing how much he wanted to win this one. I know it was hard for him seeing the winner walk away with this huge trophy while he accepted his small one.
But in the end, my husband and I were proud of him---he walked up to the tournament organizers and shook their hands and thanked them for allowing him to play. Gosh, I just wanted to hug him, sweaty body and all, but of course, a Mom can't embarrass her son, so that will have to wait until he gets home.
I love this kid! It's times like this that your heart just breaks for them.
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BL
#92377 - 07/22/04 03:14 PM
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Bevvy
Reged: 11/04/03
Posts: 5918
Loc: Northwest Washington State
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I don't believe you have no upper body strength. You told us you used to do weights. Furthermore, rowing is mostly leg work -- something most people don't realize. It's the thrust of the legs that propels the boat through the water (don't forget, you're on a sliding seat); the upper body just does the "carry through" or the "finish" of the drive.
Pilates is REAL popular. We talked about it at length here in the Living Room about 6 months ago. Do a search; you'll read everyone's raves about it. I bought the Winsor pilates videotapes, and tried tape 1. OY! I was sore for a week! It ain't easy!
Yes, a lot of gyms offer pilates classes.
Bev
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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And I love it when I tell him I love him and (occasionally) he responds. He's 6 ft, 2 with the most gorgeous hazel eyes and when he looks down at me and says, "Ahhh, I luvvvv you too, MOM!", I just wanna melt! And I forget---momentarily---all the things he's done in his teenage years to drive me crazy.
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Hey BL,
I know how you feel.
I have two sons, one 6' and one 6'2". (I am 5'4") I just melt when the taller one tells me (only once in a while) how much he appreciates the things I do for him and when the other one (that doesn't live here) calls me on the phone crying thanking his dad & I for helping him out and doesn' know what he would do without us. AND.....it does make you forget all those teenage things that we had to go through to get to this point. It's a great feeling though, isn't it?
Barbie
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Bev, ...
#92411 - 07/22/04 06:20 PM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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I didn't realize rowing was mostly leg work! Hey, I gotta check this out! I definitely need that.
I AM weak in my upper body---I can barely lift the minimum weight on the machines for the arms---and sometimes that just kills me. I guess I've always done a lot of leg work at the fitness center since the women in my family are all bottom heavy, if you know what I mean.
I will have to do a search on Pilates.
What I need is s personal trainer to come to my house. Don't think that's in my budget. Gotta pay college tuition this fall.
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Barbie
#92412 - 07/22/04 06:28 PM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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Wow! They will actually call you and tell you how much they appreciate you??? I'm looking forward to that day!
I have two boys also---this one is 17, the other is 18. How old are yours? I know the one will be a father soon. What about the other one?
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Hey BL
#92416 - 07/22/04 07:02 PM
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barbie
Reged: 04/22/04
Posts: 2435
Loc: Texas
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My oldest son is 33 (lives in Salt Lake City) and going to be a papa in Nov. Mainly, he is thanking us because we have helped them out financially a few times and also emotionally. It really makes me feel good to know that I am appreciated. My other son is 29 and is renting a room from us. He is a supervisor at Fox Sports and is doing great. He's in no hurry to get married because he has had two bad relationships. We don't mind him living here because we have lots of room and he doesn't get in our way. As a matter of fact he is hardly ever home.
I love both of them so much and all I want to do is see them happy. I know they appreciate me even though sometimes they don't say it in so many words. Sometimes you just have to wait till they become adults for it to "hit" them as to how much you have done for them. It will happen to you, too, when they get a little older and wiser.
Barbie
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Hey Beaglelover,
The psychiatrist you are seeing sounded a tad bit uptight. He may be "highy rated", but your experience is important. Maybe he clicks with some people and not others, which is pretty normal. If it seems unworkable, you might consider trying someone different. I know taking the meds can be a pain. I hate taking the meds I am on. Good luck and hang in there!!
Pete
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svaha
#92444 - 07/22/04 08:32 PM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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Yes, I was thinking today that he is kind of tightly wound. I think we don't mesh because our personalities are so totally opposite! I'm the emotional, overly dramatic type, and he's a quiet nerdy kind of guy.
Sometimes I think I'm saying things to him to see if I can get a reaction out of him. He has one of those poker faces---and it drives me crazy that I never know what he's thinking.
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College? COLLEGE? Girlfriend, colleges have rowing teams! Oh yeah! I don't know where you are, but I'll betcha if your college is close to the water, you have a crew! I would KILL to be on a college crew! When I was in college, girls were not permitted to row; it was for boys only. Girls took home ec. Thankfully that all changed in the late '60's.
So you're going to college -- you GOTTA check out the crew! Oh yeah. The coach will test you for your strength -- so get on those weight machines at the Y, Girlfriend!
If you tell me you're near Boston, where they row on the Charles River, I'll die of envy. Or, if you're near New Hampshire, Dartmouth has a crew that's a winner (of course). Fabulous boathouse there! Are you anywhere near the Skuykill River? That's Boathouse Row! U.C. Berkeley? They have an old antique boathouse that's the cutest I've ever seen. Stanford? Those gals ALWAYS win! Oh, gosh, I could go on forever....
I recommend crew for you, BL!
Envious Bevvy
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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I'm not going to college this fall!!!! Our son is---he just graduated from high school and is headed to an art and design college this fall.
I did the college thing YEARS ago---I graduated 24 years ago, to be exact.
Ahhh, those were fun days! (I have a journalism/education degree from Baylor University in Waco, Texas.) Sic 'em, Bears!
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I know that doctors can have terrible "bedside manners," but I think you might want to be careful with medications. Instead of stopping entirely, maybe you could ask for an increase/decrease or even a different medication. One of the meds I take is Lithium and my doctor has me get my lithium blood levels checked about once a year. Hang in there - you have lots of friends on this forum that love you and care about you.
Marty
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Amateur radio IS a contact sport!
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BL...
#92489 - 07/23/04 06:40 AM
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atomic rose
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 7013
Loc: Maine (IBS-A stable since July '05!)
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I hope the new eye doctor will figure it out, too. Sometimes side effects can linger, but a month does seem like an awful lot of lingering! Good luck - I'll be thinking of ya. I have terrible vision anyway, but a blurring like that would drive me crazy too.
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going off to college sounds fun to me! I loved the whole college experience---living in the dorm, making friends from all over the world, going out of town on the weekends, football games, margaritas on Thursday night, panty raids, etc.
I've been helping my son get together things for his dorm room---a comforter, sheets, pillow, lamp, etc---and I'm kind of jealous!
It was one time in my life I didn't worry about money, washing clothes or what to fix for dinner! I just had a great time. (And yes, I did study. I graduated with honors, even with all the fun I had.)
Sic 'em, bears!!!
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I know, I shouldn't have just stopped it completely. I just get in this mood about once a year and have to prove to myself that I really need it.
I do feel better since I started it again.
I'm just stubborn as a mule! My husband says he doesn't know why I go to the doctor, because I won't follow their instructions and do what they say! I'm working on being more compliant.
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Hey, BL. I have sooooo much experience with this type of doc. First, let me say, people who have to take drugs like Lithium, Depakote......have to deal with some really wild,and I do mean wild side effects. You need a doc who is going to sit back, LOOK AT YOU, and listen to every word you are saying. If a doc doesnt make eye contact, or stop writing for a second, or looking back through your chart long enough to let you know he is listening, you feel as if you are talking to the air. And honey, I have talked to plenty of air. Until I met my currant, I have been seeing him for about 6 years...he sits back and listens to me. I just saw him yesterday, I called with no appt. and told them I had to come in, he said come when you can get here.
Thats how ALL OF THEM SHOULD BE REACTING TO A PATIENT, esp. a Psychiatrist. If he spoke to me the way this guy did, I would have told him not to bother sending me a bill, and walked out!!!! There are plenty of Psycs. you can see who will treat you better. What an a$$.
Off of the soap box now, sorry for that. BL, hope it gets better soon, I am always here to listen.
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BL, just wondering are you a rapid cycler? I have read all of the posts on this thread, I am worried about your meds.
What are/were you taking? How much, which one did you quit taking.
Worried about you.....
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Yeah, BL
#92567 - 07/23/04 10:58 AM
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barbie
Reged: 04/22/04
Posts: 2435
Loc: Texas
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Hey BL,
I guess I never thought of it that way. Now you make me want to go, too. I only went to a one-year business college so I really missed out on all that fun.
Sounds like you have a lot of happy memories. That's great!
Barbie
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Don't worry. I started the medicine again after I saw the doctor. But now I'm questioning that decision.
I remember why I stopped it---it makes me so tired. It's the middle of the afternoon and I just want to crawl in the bed. I have no energy. I don't want spend my whole life feeling drowsy./and being overweight. Now I don't want to take it again.
It's Trileptal I take. I'm only taking 150 mg. twice a day, which is a very low dose. I've been up to 375 mg. twice a day, but that caused double vision. Then I was taking 300 mg. twice a day, and I don't remember why I reduced that dosage.
I've tried almost all the meds for bipolar---and I hate them all. Why can't they just give me a freekin antidepressant like everyone else? I took Zoloft for 18 months and did fine, altho I didn't sleep well while on it, but I think that's common.
After all the docs I've seen, you'd think one of them would've told me what kind of bipolar I have, but no one has. They all say, "I dunno." (Gosh, makes me feel like some weirdo. Am I that baffling?)
I wonder if I even have the right diagnosis. My husband says, "Gee, how many doctors have to tell you you have it before you believe them?"
You know what I think? That bipolar is the "new, hot" illness right now, and I bet if a group of you went in to see a psychiatrist, the majority of you would come out with this diagnosis too.
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OH No, BL
#92613 - 07/23/04 01:47 PM
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barbie
Reged: 04/22/04
Posts: 2435
Loc: Texas
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Sorry to hear you are having such a rough time. Why did you quit taking the Zoloft if it was helping you?  Maybe you could take an antidepressant. Have you thought about changing docs if this one is not willing to listen to you and your concerns. My sister & niece have changed psyc.docs several times before they found one they liked.
I think it is sorta important to have a good relationship with your doc. and that he take your fears and concerns about these meds seriously.
I know side effects of meds can be very frightening and frustrating. Have you done any research on the web about bipolar and depression to see what you can find out? I have found out a lot of stuff about meds & medical conditions that I have had by looking them up.
Anyway, I am here to listen if it helps you.
Hang in there
Barbie
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Girl, I get the feeling that you are in a bad place right now. From talking to you on your other posts, you have seemed to be a little more relaxed. Now, you just don't seem to be yourself.
A few questions, is your mind racing? Do you feel hyper?
When you speak to someone, do your sentences run on and on?
Are you talking really fast? Are you craving chocolate?
Are you eating to be eating? Have you lost your appetite?
Do you have boundless energy?
Please don't take offense to things any of us might say, we are just trying to understand and help.
You are right, BP seems to be the "now" diagnosis. Come back and talk to me. MY best friend is BP, she has been hospitalized several times, I have taken her there. I do know a lot about it. We joke also, sometimes if you don't laugh, you will cry your eyes out. It's ok.
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