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I'm kinda lame, and don't really have any secrets, thus far I have led what most would deem a very boring life. But I just wanted to echo what a lot of people have been saying and say that I think it's great so many of you were able (and willing) to share your secrets 
Kelly
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L-the-L,
I too had a hard time spotting it. At first my eyes ran over the mumbling, onto the next line, but something caught my eyes, something that didn't say the same words, what could that have been that I just saw -- subliminally -- ?
Oh! OH! OH!
Okay, got it. What a surprise!
Well, go with your heart, LS, and you'll never go wrong. Andy sounds like a fabulous guy, and there's a lot to having a relationship like you guys have. Sex is so over-rated! Well, it's pretty good -- but having a strong friendship with your mate is really what guarantees a good stable marriage.
You DO want to stay married to Andy, yes? Or is this something you haven't had much time to roll over in your mind? Is this a fairly new discovery for you?
While I've had really strong feelings towards many female friends, I've never been sexually attracted to females at all. The thought of going to bed with one of them feels kinda "icky." Females don't have the right "equipment," ya know? I guess if I had turned out to be a male, I'd have been a pretty bad one.
A lot of people who are born nowadays with my condition actually become males at birth. It's up to the parents -- and that's an issue that's become very controversial. When the child grows up, he can be very angry at his outcome.
When I was born it was so rare doctors didn't know it even existed. Now they do -- and they can deal with it at infancy, making the child a female or a male.
I'm glad I turned out female because I'm attracted to men. It would have been terrible if my parents had discovered my condition at birth and turned me into a male.
Anyway, LS, this is about you, not me. I can't imagine being in your situation; I don't know what I would do. But I think I would go with my heart. Life is too short not to live it to its fullest. This is not a rehearsal.
Anytime you want to talk, I'm glad to listen. If you would like to e-mail me, Jen has my address, and it's perfectly fine if e-mails it to you.
Your friend,
Bevvvvy
P.S.: I hope it felt good coming out of the closet. Please tell me you're feeling at least a little bit of relief. I know I do.
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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Bev
#89222 - 07/12/04 08:40 PM
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You don't have to answer this, because it is strictly my curiosity that causes me to ask, but what is the name of the condition? I ask for no other reason than that it sounds interesting and I'm curious as to what happened.
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Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
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AIS
#89228 - 07/12/04 09:09 PM
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Bevvy
Reged: 11/04/03
Posts: 5918
Loc: Northwest Washington State
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When I was born, the doctors were baffled; they had no idea what was wrong with me. It wasn't until I was 38 years old that I finally got a diagnosis: "Testicular Feminization." You can find it on the web.
My support group (I no longer am a member) didn't like this terminology and changed it to "Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome" (or "AIS").
Our condition was featured on the Discovery Channel on a program called "Medical Miracles." I never thought of my condition as being that -- never.
Thanks for your interest.
Bev
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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Man, seems like you're cursed with diseases that need sexier names!
I looked it up and it's very interesting Bev... proves that our society is hung up on the idea that there are two sexes when that's just NOT TRUE. What I think is interesting about both your's and LS's deep dark secrets is that neither of them are anything shameful or wrong you did (unlike mine) but a natural thing that's shameful because of society. My secret was something wrong and bad I did, your secrets are only shameful because of other people's prejudices.
I'm sorry other people's prejudices have caused you pain. I think you're both wonderful amazing people who have overcome a lot and continue to do so. Real inspirations.
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You probably don't consider this a compliment, but you are a fascinating lady, Bev! I thought that already, but this just reinforced it!
Going along with what Jenny was saying, this opens the most interesting doors when it comes to gender identity. I wonder how many people with AIS feel like males (psychologically) but end up raised as girls? In that sense you are fortunate, because the female gender identity was a fit for you.
Wow. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. I am honored by your trust and courage.
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Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
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I really admire you! I think you are such a neat person. You have had some life. You really should write a book. I bet it would be a best seller book! Your life is fascinating.
You are so strong....you have truly been through so much! Would you please send me some of that strength??? I'm still young......I think I'm going to need it!!!
Thanks for sharing all that you do...it helps all of us here on the boards in our every day life's!
We love you Bevvy!!!!
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Edited by StephS (07/12/04 10:27 PM)
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Thanks for sharing! That must have been hard to keep that in! I was telling Bev she has been through so much.....and I think you have too.
I'm glad that you feel you can tell us here on the boards. I hope you life workes out the way you would like it to.
Thanks for sharing with us!
How are you doing? Hows the fibro?
Take care!
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I had a hard time with this all my life because, as I mentioned, I felt like a freak. No one knew what was wrong with me; the doctors wanted to send me to an institution for "research." As a young girl I wanted to be normal, like all the others.
I got very good at pretending I was just like my girlfriends.
When I turned 38 and finally got my diagnosis, it was a big relief. I had the necessary surgery (we've all had it) and told everyone it was a hysterectomy. No one -- not even my parents or my friends -- NO ONE -- knew the secret I held.
It wasn't until I turned 50 that I decided it was time for some relief. I told an office acquaintance -- not my parents, not my friends, but someone I worked with. To my great surprise, all she did was hug me.
I'm still not very good at telling people, but this exercise has been very relieving for me. I have no resentment about my situation, and I don't even break down when friends have babies (as so many of us do), EXCEPT when I hear of mothers who drown their babies, toss them into garbage bins or throw them from bridges. Then I confess I get angry with God. Why allow people like that to bear children but deny me? What did I do that was so horrific? I would have made a wonderful mother. Why did He hate me so?
Thank you both for your interest and understanding.
Bev
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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Steph
#89244 - 07/12/04 10:23 PM
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Bevvy
Reged: 11/04/03
Posts: 5918
Loc: Northwest Washington State
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Bless you!
You're a sweetheart. I wanted to open up, to let it out, to tell someone -- finally -- and it's a big relief. I hope it's also a relief for everyone else who has shared their secrets.
I'm amazed at what we've all gone through; it's no wonder we have IBS!
Thanks again, Pretty Lady!
Bevvy
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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