Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | Your Deepest, Darkest Secret?

Wow, you just blew my little confession out of the water. That's AMAZING, Bev! I've read a little about gender issues like that, enough to know that you must have gone through hell before learning about it and coming to terms with it. I wondered why you were sterile, as you've mentioned a couple times. Now I understand.

Makes my realization at the age of 42 or so after 15 plus years of marriage that I'm attracted to women not men seem like pretty small potatoes.

I think the kick I got out of sex with men was just about them being attracted to me and wanting something from me. Never had the big O. Not once with guys, only by myself. I kept it secret from my hubby, sweetie pie, Andy for several more years, but finally came out to him a couple years ago. After working up my courage for months, I finally was able to blurt out the words to him, "I'm gay." You'll never in a million years guess what he said. Without a moment's hesitation he said, "No, you're not." Like a mom saying to a kid who says "I'm hungry." "No, you're not." It cracked me up and made me furious all at the same time.

And he's still in denial about it. He thinks that it's just a phase that will blow over or that I'm really bisexual, not a lesbian. Anyway, we haven't had sex in years. I negotiated a sabbatical shortly after realizing I was gay, and bless his heart he hasn't made an issue of it.

Now here's the beauty part. I haven't kissed a girl either. I've had plenty of opportunities, I do live in NYC after all, and there's a lesbian bar about 9 blocks from here!! I wouldn't even have to cross the avenue. But I have some very strong spiritual beliefs and one of them is to honor my marriage vows. I will NEVER cheat on Andy. As long as I'm still married to him, it's strictly look but don't touch! But if anything should happen, my next relationship will be with a woman.

Jenny (Chinagrl), as far as you and anyone else who was confused by the fact that I'm married, all I can say is, so was Eleanor Roosevelt, so was Virginia Woolf, so was Tom Cruise, so is David Bowie (to Iman the model -- I'd marry her in a heartbeat), so was Cole Porter, so was Alexander Hamilton, so was Frida Kahlo, so was Laurence Olivier, so was Franz Schubert, so are a million other people. And I haven't exactly been forthcoming about it, so any confusion is totally my fault!

Bev, Jen, Michelle, Jenny, EVERYBODY that posted here today, I applaud your courage, your honesty, and your strength. We have all in our own way overcome tremendous obstacles. A friend of mine says that "We're only as sick as our secrets." So by telling our secrets here today we've all cast our votes for health, guilt-free, shame-free, open and honest health!

Good for us! And I'll drink a Jack to that!!

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Laura
Keep it simple!

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