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We all hate our deepest, darkest secrets. But sometimes telling them helps getting it out and give us some relief. It also makes us much more human.
Smooches!
Bev
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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Post deleted by ChristineM
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Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
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you are certainly not the first person to be in that experience, nor will you be the last. that's one of those "what did i learn about myself from this?" things. and i think we know the answer.....
....it may be ok to sleep with a conservative, but ya never want to keep him!
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Bev: Okay, I have to go take a shower now because I'm supposed to leave in fifteen minutes, but when I get back (in about six hours), I expect your post to be on here, missy! Is that clear???
Everyone else, I'm totally in awe of your honesty and your, well, humanity if that makes any sense. Even though I've always taken the safe route, I totally admire the mistakes and choices people make along the way. They make you so beautiful and interesting!
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Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
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LOL!!
#89039 - 07/12/04 11:06 AM
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atomic rose
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 7013
Loc: Maine (IBS-A stable since July '05!)
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Jen, that is SO very true! (And thank you for the giggle!)
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There should be no ashame, you suffered through things that were evidentally not under your control. You made it through, you are here, and still have your youth. (though I am not quite sure of your age)
There is always time to make friends, give yourself a chance and others, don't hold back it could keep you from meeting your best girlfriend ever!!! And, I believe we could never have to many of those. Good luck honey,keep on going!!
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Re: my secret
#89056 - 07/12/04 11:33 AM
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michele
Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan
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Well, I decided wether or not to post this but here it is. I was addicted to drugs, coke and meth for 2 years in my mid 20's. It was an awful addiction and at the time I was in an abusive relationship and just about gave up on life. My first husband got another girl pregnant while we were married and than was murdered (no, not by me  ) We moved around a lot for his job so I didn't really have any friends. After he was killed I tried to pull my life together but was plagued with severe anxiety and depression. I muddled through for a couple of years than got hooked up with the "wrong crowd." I was desperate for friends and wanted to "fit in" somewhere because I never did. Not while growing up, I came from a very dysfunctional family. I didn't have friends in high school. Anyway, I knew I was headed in the wrong direction but thought I could handle it. I was wrong. VERY WRONG. I almost od several times. Sometimes, I think that was on purpose. I was trapped in an awful relationship and had no way out.
Finally, one day I woke up from a drug induced stuppor and realized I didn't want to die like that. I got a restraining order on the physco boyfriend, moved away from the drugs and associated people. I detoxed on my own, it was one of the most terrible things I ever had to go through. I haven't touched drugs now in over 8 years.
Most people in my life do not know about this. I did tell my husband but thats about it. My mom never new, although she must have suspected. I just don't talk about that part of my life. I am very ashamed. But I am also proud of myself for overcoming it. I believe I am a good person today and try to leave the past behind.
Hows that for a secret! Now Bevrs, I missed your confession so its only fair....
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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I love you so, for sharing with a couple who could not have a child. Thats the greatest sacrifice.
You are so inpsirational, you could have chosen the other route, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR NOT DOING SO !!!
God Bless You Jen!!!
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Oh wow, yous are all making me tear up. But in the good way. 
I feel like you are all my sisters/moms/best friends that I never had (well, you know what I mean by "had")
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-Sheri
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Wow michelle,
I have so much admiration for you right now, not many people, okay almost NONE make it through a situation like that or have enough in them to overcome an addiction, especially one of that magnitude.
You are right, those types of life experiences definately can make a person stronger.
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-Sheri
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