Help Please, advice needed regarding work
#85128 - 06/30/04 05:41 PM
|
|
|
|
Vicam
Reged: 02/24/04
Posts: 1955
Loc: Ontario, Canada
|
|
|
Hey Everyone,
I'm having a very stressful day  I just found out at work that I'm being transferred to a new team, which means I'll be reporting to a new manager. My current manager is on vacation, and this is taking place Friday.
My problem is that my sick days were for a long time a problem, and I finally got them medically verified through my employer's third party medical investigation company, but only my immediate boss knows about it. So she's been really understanding about my sick days and I know I won't be in trouble for missing so much work.
Now that I'm going to have a new boss, I don't know if she'll be forwarded the information on my condion or not. Plus, I keep playing the "what if" game, being worried that she won't be as nice or as understanding about it.
My current boss was great, she was the one who even suggested I consider applying for a paid short-term disability leave since I miss so many days (at least one or two a week) because she thought I might be able to get better faster if I didn't have to worry about coming into work at all. I've been looking into it, but my doc's on vacation so I can't consult with him, and now it's going to be too late because I'll have a new boss!
Any advice? Words or encouragement? My brain keeps telling me I shouldn't stress so much about it...but of course I can't stop!
Kelly
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Hi Kelly,
Were you given any reason for your transfer? Was it a coincidence that it happened when your old boss was on vacation, or was that done on purpose for some reason? How is your old boss gonna feel coming back from vacation, only to discover you were pulled out from under her without her consent?
Are you pleased with the transfer? Is it a better position for you? Are you going to oppose it, or go with the flow?
Have you gotten a "feel" for the new boss? Do you get along okay (so far)?
If it were me, I'd request a private meeting with her, and then I'd just ask if she got the information on you forwarded from your old boss. I'd tell her about your condition, totally up front with her right off the bat, just level with her, and I'd have a print-out with me off this website of "what to tell people about IBS." (I think Heather's got it in the home page.) If she's unfamiliar with IBS, she may not be very sympathetic ("ignorance is bliss"), but if she knows what you're going through, I would think she'd be understanding. If she's not, you want to know it up front.
Above all, I'd tell her how hard you're working at getting stable. I'd let her know what all you've gone through.
Again, I wouldn't put this off; I'd hit her up right away. Otherwise, she might think it's an excuse to get out of work.
As an aside, Kelly, what do YOU want to do? I mean, maybe you won't like the new assignment at all. Is this transfer what YOU want? If not, have you given any consideration to looking around elsewhere?
Bev
--------------------
<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Hey Bev
#85142 - 06/30/04 06:45 PM
|
|
|
|
|
Vicam
Reged: 02/24/04
Posts: 1955
Loc: Ontario, Canada
|
|
|
In answer to your question, the position is exactly the same. Basically, I work for a bank in a call center where we are all on "teams" with one manager above us. Each team has about 20 people. My current manager is being assigned a brand new team, so those of us on her team now are being divied up among the other bosses. So it'll be the exact same job, I'll just be reporting to someone else.
I don't know the new manager at all, and I'm not in again until Friday, but I will try and talk with her. Ultimately, I would prefer to stay with my existing manager, but I doubt I will get a choice in the matter.
As for looking around elsewhere, I really like my job, so I wouldn't want to do that. I may take the short-term leave, because I do think that may help me get stable. At first I didn't want to submit to an actual leave becuase I do get some "good-day" (albeit few and far between) where I can work, but I think it might be better for me if I was off. I have a lot of stress regarding calling in sick, so if I know I'm off for a certain period of time, maybe that would help.
Do you have any thoughts on short-term disability leaves?
Thanks,
Kelly
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Kelly, I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about how it works in Canada. I was on disability only once for my knee surgery, but I doubt it works the same up there as it does down here.
I was working in California at the time, and had to file with the California State government for medical disability insurance. As I recall, it required letters from my doctors -- both primary and orthopedic surgeon. I believe it was for only 6 months, until I was finally able to put weight on my knee and get off crutches. However, I believe the way it works is you can be on medical disability indefinitely, as long as your doctor will verify you are physically disabled. Whether that's the way it works in Canada or not, I just don't know.
Perhaps another Canadian on Board here can advise you better than I.
Bev
--------------------
<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Hey Bev,
Sorry, I actually wasn't looking for how it works, just some advice on whether it seems like it may or may not be a good idea.
Sometimes in Canada you have to go through the government, but my employer actually has it's own plan that's part of my benefits. Basically, my doc just has to say it's warrnanted and I can go on leave.
My bosses' thinking was that although I'm obviously not totelly disabled, I have missed a lot of days and am not getting any better (and my immune system is so out of whack I keep picking up other bugs)...so maybe I would get better quicker if I didn't need to work. Take the time, try and get stable, try different medications, see differnet doctors (still trying to get an answer on the gallbladder issue) and then maybe get totally straightened out.
I'm just not sure what to do, I think it might be good for me, but part of me worries about what would happen if I took the leave and STILL didn't improve at all. Basically, they wouldn't be happy if I took the leave, came back a few months later, and was still needed weekly sick days.
Hopefully that clarifies things a little 
Kelly
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Kelly, I just had a thought. A light bulb appears above my head.
Is there any possibility that your instability could be the fault of stress -- stress from your JOB? I had a lot of stress too, and I thought it related to my job, so I quit and got a less stressful job, then when my IBS didn't get better, I assumed I needed an even LESS stressful one, but my boss agreed to my working part-time instead of quitting. My IBS still didn't get better! Finally, I quit all together and moved away from California, up here where living isn't so stressful. Guess what? My IBS got worse than ever! It turns out my stress was caused by my fear of an impending attack; I was becoming riddled with anxiety. Then I came on Board here and was introduced to the hypnotherapy program, and the rest is history.
This is a long way around getting to the point, ain't it?
Your concern is warranted. What IF you took the leave and didn't get better? If your instability is due to stress about the job, then that's a valid concern for you. If you can just pinpoint the cause, I think it would help you with a decision.
Do you think your doctor will believe your IBS warrants disability? Does he understand enough about IBS? Certainly he knows what you've gone through, but if he's the kind of GI who believes "it's all in your head," I doubt he'll back you. If he doesn't, then the issue is moot.
Does any of this help?
Have you ever had a short-term "leave" before? I mean, while you had IBS? Like maybe an extra long vacation, perhaps? How did you do? How was your IBS then? Any attacks? If not, then maybe job stress is the problem.
If you have anxiety like I did, which caused my stress, then Michael can help you. Did you go through the hypnotherapy program? I think you did, didn't you? Well, if not, you should check it out. If you did, and you still have anxiety, perhaps you should consider going through it again.
Here's another thought: what if you went ahead with the new position and gave it a try with the new boss? Try to get your IBS stable while working for her, and see if you can reduce those weekly sick days. If you can't, THEN see about that short-term disability leave. Then you would have a chance to think things through and possibly check out other options.
Bev
--------------------
<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
you said you've been looking into the short-term disability. have you looked over the terms your company offers, then? i have gone on short-term disability for both my IBS and my fibro, and it was a life-saver. but here's the thing: i was able to take advantage of an occassional absence plan. what we have offered is that i was able to have my doctors put on the paperwork that i may beed occasional days off due to illness. it specified a time frame of about a week each time, up to a certain number of times a year (those were just my terms). this was great and i wish i had done it earlier when my IBS was really bad. i could have- if anyone told me about it earlier! - had the papers filled out so that i could take one day, here and there, when i was really not doing well.
do you know if your short-term plan would allow such a thing, or would you have to take a longer stretch (say, 2 months off)?
*j
--------------------
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Hey Jen,
Well, what I'm doing right now is kinda like that, I'm approved to take sporadic sick days, so I might be in one day and then need some off and things like that, as long as it's not more than 5 days in a row it's all good.
It was my boss's suggestion to look into taking a longer leave, because I miss just about as much work as I attend, and she thought it might help me get better sooner. I think it may also have to do with the fact that I work in a call center, so there's very specific call forecasting to be done, and they count on you being there to take calls, and they never know with me. If I was on an actual leave then they wouldn't be counting on me...I don't know.
With the leave, it can be for as little as one week and as much as one year...I'm going to talk it over with my doc and see what he says as well. If I could get someone to actually look at my gallbladder I may need surgery, and my doc thinks I should have another laparoscopy for my endometriosis, so I think that's when I'd want to take the leave, to recover from the surgeries.
Thanks for your info! I'm glad that the leave worked well for you!
Kelly
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
STD
#85399 - 07/01/04 01:45 PM
|
|
|
|
|
JBI
Reged: 01/25/04
Posts: 579
Loc: BC, Canada
|
|
|
hehe, Short Term Disability - what were you guys thinking ?
I was off work for about 3 months, it was kinda frustrating being off, but good for my mental health as well as my IBS. I could experiment with different foods and get stable. It was good cause even though I wasn't making tonnes of money, it was nice to not have to worry about being totally broke while not working. Maybe worth a shot.
Jamie
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
Posts
