Quit my job today...
#69605 - 05/11/04 04:28 PM
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Hi everyone. I finally quit my job - which was REALLY hard for me to do, I cried so much Sunday that I made myself sick! To make a long story short - I am an engineer who hates being an engineer but do it because my parents want me to be. I know that's dumb, but I've always done everything to make them happy. I'm going through a tough time with them, and I have been MISERABLE at my job lately. When I told them I was going to quit, I got yelled at for over an hour - they called me crazy, said I was making a huge mistake, I wasn't independant, etc etc. Haven't talked to them since, and that's hard for me because I usually talk to my mom everday. My husband just really wanted me to quit, and he is SO supportive. I really want to work with kids, I have always had a passion for that. And - we want to get pregnant like NOW, but have been putting it off because of everything with my stomach and all....so I thought that this would give me some time to really figure out what I can and can't eat. At work I was eating the same 'safe' things EVERYDAY, and it's getting so old.
Anyways- just looking for some reassurance because I'm feeling so guilty right now. I do feel relieved, and this will take away lots of stress - but now I'm stressed about my parents and money for awhile! 
Hope everyone had a great day!
~Cara
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~Cara~
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Hi Cara,
Sorry to hear you parents are not supportive....at least you have your husband to lean on. I had a similar situation with my son who went to Chiropractic College and became a Dr. of Chiropractic and opened a practice in Colorado with a partner. We even helped him financially to get started. After about a year of opening his practice he told us that he and his business partner didn't agree on how to run things and that he was worried everyday about how many patients he would have to see to pay the bills....it was making him crazy. After he told us that he didn't want to ba a Chiropractor anymore we were very supportive. I love him and don't want to see him unhappy. He has since gotten a master's degree in Electrical Engineering and has a job he loves and a wife and expecting a child and building a new house.....I couldn't be prouder and he is very happy now.
I hope your parents will come to their senses and realize what will really make you happy. Maybe it will just take time.
Barbie
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Thank you! I wish I had a mom like that. I thought all mothers just wanted you to be happy! It seems like mine just wants to be able to brag to her friends about me. It's like she's ashamed of me for wanting to do something that would make me HAPPY just because it won't pay well.
I feel like I'm doing the right thing as long as it'll make me happy. And IBS doesn't get any easier with stress, which my job is full of right now.
Anyways, thanks for your reply! I hope my mom is happy with me one day 
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~Cara~
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Cara, I think that's very very brave. i'm really proud of you.
i really am impressed. i think lots of people do things that make others happy and not themselves. you have taken a huge step and i'm really glad for you. and it's so nice your husband is so supportive of you.
go get a job with kids or go to school to learn something new. and give your cute hubby a kiss for being so supportive! 
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Hi Cara,
I think you have to do what is best for you! Some times parents like to live through their kids! I'm sorry that they are giving you a hard time. Its really tuff when your on the outs with your parents. But you have to do what is the very best for you. It sounds as if you did just that. I say good for you. Take some time for you. I know you have that rotten Epstein-Barr virus too, and that is tuff to deal with. I think you made the right decision. Your parents will just have to learn that your a grown woman and your looking out for you. Who wants to be in a job that makes them feel stressed and horrible?
Good for you Cara. Please stop feeling guilty. Your parents will get over it! They have to!
Good luck and please take it easy on yourself! {{{{{HUGS}}}}}
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Thanks girls. I am lucky to have a really supportive husband, he's the best! (And he is a cutie! )
I think I'll be so much happier in 2 weeks when I leave the office for good...........ahhhhh a load off my back. No one at work knows except my boss, I guess I should tell them, but it'll be crazy when I do. Why is quitting jobs so hard to do?!?!
My boss keeps going, 'Please think LONG AND HARD about this decision...' He keeps making me doubt myself! But I know I will be happier. And if I can go work with kids, or even get a part time job for awhile I'll be happier. More broke, but happier I'm not going to work when we have kids, so my mom better just get used to it!
Thanks girls.
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~Cara~
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Hi!
I totally hear what you are saying about your job, and I know how hard it can be to do something else. I am definitly the kind of person that feels guilty for everything, even if noone is purposely trying to make me feel guilty. I used to try to do things to make sure everyone else was pleased, and basically myself came last.
Recently, I've tried to take steps more towards putting myself first and doing what will make me happy. Its really hard to do though, when you've lived your whole life trying to make others happy, so congrats on making such a huge step. You look really really young in your picture, so you have plenty of time to find and do something you really love. I too work with children and its great and very rewarding! congratulations!
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Thank you! You sound just like me. I have always tried to make everyone else happy - I mean I'm still learning thing about myself that I didn't know because I never did anything that I wanted to do!
I am young! I mean I think I look younger than I am - I still get carded for smokes (I know...I'm trying to quit...). I graduated college almost 3 years ago. I've had enough of engineering to know that I don't enjoy it. I don't HATE it, but it's not a passion, it's just something I'm good at.
Thanks for responding!
~Cara
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~Cara~
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Hey there, I just wanted to say thank you for being an inspiration to some people, such as myself, that have wanted to do the same thing-but don't have the guts to.
There is a quote that I always lean on when I start to get negative thoughts about certain things and it is:
"Most people die with the music still in them". I believe the author is...someone that I can't remember at the moment...:( Anywho...I believe you are living for the moment and planning for the future. There is nothing wrong with that. My parents, are exhaustingly realistic. Whenever, I want to do something-such as start my own massage biz, they have always told me it won't work. I usually do it anyway-because I have to find out for myself.
It is frustrating, but now I expect this kind of response from them. I think of it as they are giving me the worst case scenario and I go from there. It actually makes me feel more positive now.
It sounds like they just love you so much and they don't want you to fail. They don't want you to suffer and it's their way of protecting you...making you safe. Feeling safe doesn't always make you happy though.
I really wish you luck, I've talked to many women that have worked throughout their children's lives and they regret the fact that they had to work. They missed out on a lot. You have that choice though and I think it's wonderful.
Good Luck!
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Cara, YOU ROCK!
#69661 - 05/11/04 07:43 PM
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Bevvy
Reged: 11/04/03
Posts: 5918
Loc: Northwest Washington State
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Girlfriend, you SOOOOO did the right thing! Oh yeah!
My parents wanted me to be an artist. They felt I had an artistic ability. Whether I did or not wasn't important; what was important was that I wasn't really interested in art. I went to art school -- for them, to please them -- but I could see right away that I didn't have the natural talent to succeed in commercial art. I could look at something and draw it, but I couldn't think of things and draw them from my mind. I wasn't CREATIVE.
Anyway, I didn't continue with my art; I wanted to be a secretary just like Della Street, Perry Mason's secretary. That was my dream. Stupid as it was, that's what I wanted to do. So, I did it. It took many years to work my way up -- I took classes and learned "on-the-job." 42 years later, I can honestly say that was a very good decision on my part. My parents were wrong; I could never have been a success at commercial art, but I was a VERY GOOD legal secretary; it supported me well and even is paying me in my retirement years.
So the moral of this story is DO WHAT YOU WANT, not what someone else believes is best for you. You never want to look back and resent them, not ever. Your parents may be upset right now, but they'll come around, because the bottom line is they want you to be happy. Give them some space; let your mom cool down. She'll eventually come around -- especially when you give her a grandchild to play with!
BTW, your hubby is a gem. He'll make a great dad!
Bev
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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