Do you ever get the feeling....
#62011 - 04/16/04 04:42 PM
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Megs
Reged: 04/03/04
Posts: 43
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that there is something in your life that has to change to make you better or whole again? Ever think that if you moved to another place IBS or anxiety wouldn't be an issue that you would simply be a different person? Sorry for all the rhetorical questions I apparently ordered a steaming hot helping of self pity today and keep wondering what I can change. I asked for time off from my job because I thought that would ease my anxiety and therefore help with my IBS but it has only seemed to get worse as the time goes by and I don't even know that I have a job to go back to anymore. My anxiety has gotten so much worse since I have eliminated some of the things that were causing it because I simply don't have the will to try anymore.
At the beginning of the week I was really thinking I would get better because I had been doing better with trying to eat and started back at therapy, finally got my hypno cds to listen to, bought a yoga dvd, started trying equalactin and started going for walks. Ick sometimes I just wonder what it would be like to be anyone but me. *sorry for the pity party just had to get it out*
love & aloha,
Megs
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I totally know where you're coming from. I'm going through the exact same thing myself. It's the famous "is the grass greener somewhere else" type question.
I think the big thing is to make sure it's a well thought out decision if you decide for a big change. You're going to have days where you totally feel like crap and want to change everything, but you're also going to have days where you're feeling ok and it's really important (in my opinion) to sit back and think that ok, maybe things aren't that bad.
Just my two cents, although I think I'm just as confused about life as you are so it's probably a case of the blind leading the blind.  Good Luck!
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Oh Yeah.
#62044 - 04/16/04 06:11 PM
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Bevvy
Reged: 11/04/03
Posts: 5918
Loc: Northwest Washington State
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When I was first diagnosed with IBS, I was working in California at a high-pressure job. I changed jobs, assuming I could get rid of the IBS when I got rid of the stress. It didn't work -- so I reduced the number of hours I worked. That didn't work either.
So, like you, I figured I would get better if I moved to a slower type of life situation. I retired and moved up north here. No job = no stress, right? WRONG!
My IBS got even WORSE than ever. What I didn't realize was that the stress had nothing to do with my job or my environment, but everything to do with ME, with how I perceived myself and my surroundings.
I didn't realize any of that until I got into Michael's program. I'm so glad you got the tapes -- now you need to focus in on them. Have you begun yet?
Your post is not at all a "pity party." Expressing how you're feeling is helping to "get it out" and reaching out for others' help and guidance. It's very healthy -- don't apologize.
Keep us posted on your progress with Michael. Don't expect instant results; just listen to him and enjoy the music, enjoy your time with him, make it a special time for just you and Michael.
Bev
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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Megs, you are definitely not alone in your feelings. I often find myself thinking that I could do or be anything if it wasn't for the IBS. It's scary and frustrating to feel like you can't rely on your body to support you in doing the things that you want to do, whether it's making a change, or moving forward on your current path.
It sounds like you're taking steps to control the things that you can. Like you and others on the site, I'm doing the same...trying the diet, the hypno, yoga. I think that Heather said somewhere on the site that the key is to keep trying anything and everything until we find the right formula for each of us. Hopefully, we'll have the same success that others on the site have experienced!
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