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Oh gosh, I am going through so much of this stuff right now too! I'm sorry because I know how much it sucks and is scary. I wish I had an answer for you as what would make it better but I think it's different for everyone and I haven't found what even does it for me.
I relate to being the one in the family who everyone thought had/has it all together but you have to let that go. I had go get honest with the people in my life because it just made it so much worse trying to keep up a pretense that I was fine when I absolutely wasn't and needed their help to make it through. I am just learning how to do this by the way. I've found that keeping it a secret actually makes it worse for me because I have to worry more. It is ok not to be ok is what I guess I'm saying.
I choose not to take medication because I am sober and feel like I shouldn't but I think it's getting close to the point where I don't have a choice. It's either medication or a life that revolves around panic and not leaving my house(no fun at all). If you don't want to talk to your family maybe a therapist? With a therapist there is no judgement or perceived judgement and they have experience in how to help. Hope things go better for you and you are in my thoughts and prayers.
-Megs
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Hey there, Pretty Lady,
I agree with Jen about the anxiety thing. I also think there's more going on there than the IBS stuff. And her comment, "hiding how you feel and what you're doing during the day can't be helping those feelings of anxiety you're describing," is right on. You need to "let [hubby] in on a little of this anxiety you've been feeling" and let him remove some of the burden off your shoulders, Girlfriend.
I don't agree about the meds, however. I was on an antidepressant, and I didn't like it because it caused terrible cramps, so I got off it. It's not an easy thing to do, as you know, so no, I wouldn't go back on them.
You need the tapes, and they're on their way; you're gonna have to be just a little more patient. But I think you could work out some of this through some strenuous exercise. I did some very physical hard labor this morning for over 2 hours, and it totally exhausted me, such that I couldn't have cared less about anything except taking a nap. I barely got home and showered before I totally crashed on the recliner with the afternoon sun streaming through the window on my face. I woke up, just in time for Dr. Phil, feeling FABULOUS! And, Girlfriend, I gotta tell ya, nothing bothers me right now -- NOTHING!
Do you have a pilates tape? No? Okay, what about a quick jog around the ocean? Seriously -- get out there and go for a run. Work it off, baby! It'll do wonders for you. Remember how terrific you felt after your noon walks earlier in the week. Trust me. Work it out.
Hang in there -- Michael's on his way.
Bev
P.S.: About the impending meeting tomorrow? Do you have any Equalactin? Works every time.
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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thanks Megs....it's scary, but thanks to these message boards things are a little more bearable. Thank you for your supportive thoughts.
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Thanks Jen....I have discussed this to a point with my husband. And for the most part he is very understanding. But, his answer still is "you worry too much....just don't worry about things." And my reply is "how?! If I knew how not to worry...I wouldn't be in this mess!" I think he thinks it's all about a choice to worry or not worry...and it isn't. So I'm a little leary of telling him any more...because I know what the answer will be. Not that he doesn't care...he cares deeply....he just doesn't "get it". Ya know? As some others just don't get it.
{{hugs}}}
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{{{{hugs}}}} Bev....thank you once again for being here. I'm with you...I didn't like the side effects of the meds....not just the sexual side effects, but other things, too.....especially getting off them. I was so proud of myself when I got off of them.
I do know that exercise helps....but right now it's so hard to push myself to do it. But, I need to. If I had an ocean here in Wyoming to run around, I would...but it's pretty dry here.
I don't have any equalactin....I took some Citricel for the first time in a long time last evening and had terrible gassy feeling all night. This morning my (sorry for the details) BMs were pretty normal...but lots of cramping and frequency. So didn't take any Citricel tonight. I also bought some FiberCon as per Heather's book, but don't have the nerve to try it yet. maybe this weekend.
Can't wait for the hypno program to arrive. Thanks Bev for offering your shoulders.
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oh, i see....
#61663 - 04/15/04 06:23 PM
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jenX
Reged: 08/11/03
Posts: 3252
Loc: Richmond, VA
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that makes sense.
i'm not so sure how one is supposed to worry less. i agree, that is a toughie!
i used to stress a lot and have no idea how i could have done it less.... that's a little mind boggling. 'cause it's a catch 22... you start worrying about how much you worry and really, you're not better of then!  
nugget, i hope things start to settle down for you. i really wish you weren't so chock full o' anxiety.
if there's anything i can do, please let me know! 
SMOOCHES!
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wow, sweets, you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself! but i totally get that. i also see myself as "the one who is always sick." that's probably because i am!
i don't know if this helps any, but at some point your hubby will need to lean on you. i'm not wishing illness or injury on him, don't get me wrong! i'm just saying that you sound like you believe you're doing all the taking... it's been my experience that situations like that always balance out in the end.
i didn't realize the anxiety meds had side effects like that--- that's like the antidepressants. i had no idea. i can understand not wanting to go through that again, then, if you know the side effects are not to your liking. there are a few meds i stay away from for those reasons!
hopefully you'll get the hypno soon and it will help. try to relax into the tapes as much as you can... try not to feel too guilty for taking the time to do it. it's easier if you just sink into them- your subconscious mind isn't being overprotected by the conscious! but even if you can't seem to let it all go while you listen to the tapes, the good news is that Michaels says they'll work anyway!
hang in there, girl!
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Nugget
#61670 - 04/15/04 07:05 PM
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StephS
Reged: 09/11/03
Posts: 2123
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Hey girl, I'm sorry your having a ruff time of it! I think you need to let everyone know how your feeling. I think maybe its adding stress on you keeping it inside. Do you have anyone...doesn't have to be your hubby...just anyone that you can talk to? I have my mom. I can tell her anything and not worry about it. Its harder for me to tell my hubby things that are going on. I feel like I'm always telling him I'm sick and so I get tired of talking to him about it!!! So I understand how you feel.
I hope some how...some way you can get this off your chest. Maybe you need a break from work..is that possiable??? How about a vacation?? Is there anywhere localy you can go. I sometimes have a hard time going far distances...so I try going somewhere with in 50 miles.
You need to do something for yourself...the tapes will get there soon and that will help. I really want you to feel better!
Please talk to someone about this. I know holding things in only makes it worse. It sure does for me. If I'm having anxiety over something...it helps me to tell someone I'm feeling sick or nervious. It takes the pressure off me.
Ok...I think I'm repeating myself. Sorry!
Feel better! {{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}} 
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Quote:
Thanks Jen....I have discussed this to a point with my husband. And for the most part he is very understanding. But, his answer still is "you worry too much....just don't worry about things." And my reply is "how?! If I knew how not to worry...I wouldn't be in this mess!" I think he thinks it's all about a choice to worry or not worry...and it isn't. So I'm a little leary of telling him any more...because I know what the answer will be. Not that he doesn't care...he cares deeply....he just doesn't "get it". Ya know? As some others just don't get it.
{{hugs}}}
Hey Nugget,
Sorry you are having such a tough time...it's so frustrating to have a set back. I completely understand what you are saying above about your DH saying "Just don't worry" That is so much easier said than done. Some of us have those "Hafta worry" outlooks on life...I am one of them and I am sure there is alot of woman with us LOL
I feel for ya. I usually just go to some friends for certain things and then the other things I tell DH just because my girlfriends seem to understand my "senseless" worrying more than my husband does.
Hope you feel better soon, hon!
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Lana_Marie
Proud Mommy to Bentley Taylor
Born May 12, 2004 9lbs, 3oz
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Nugget,
I am sorry that you are having such a bad time of it and that you are feeling so anxious. I am sending you lots of hugs and hope you are feeling better.
As far as your husband goes, that's a man thing. I have found that the majority of men (including my husband) feel like he does, something bothering you just get over it and don't think about it anymore. They see everything can be resolved by just dealing with it and moving on. For women that is not so easy. We tend to worry and think about things alot.
You have a lot going on and not being able to talk about it doesn't help you. Talk with your Dr. about how you are feeling and what is going on with you lately. Hopefully he will have some helpful answers for you.
Give yourself some TLC and know that we are sending good thoughts your way.
Janey
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Janey
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