Anyone been through postpartum depression?
#45138 - 02/15/04 06:28 PM
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Could use some advice here. I'm going through it the 2nd time and I feel just awful. It's been six months and I just don't feel better. They've changed my meds and increased them like 4 times and I still feel horrible. The worst is dragging through all this and not knowing when I'll feel any better - it's just gruelling. Sorry for the grumpy post. I just want to feel better!!@@#$%$%^^&
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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Han,
I'm so sorry for you. I didn't suffer it myself but one of my very best friends had a horrible time with it. In fact, she was hospitalised. The good news is that she is fantastically well now and it does pass.
What does your Dr say? If the increased meds aren't working is it worth changing to another?
Do you have help from your family? I know one of the things that was suggested to my friend was that she put the kids into care one day a week and have that day all to herself. She felt guilty in the beginning but giving herself that time allowed her to recover so much quicker so it really was in the best interests of the children as well as her.
Even with one child I get to the point where I need "me" time.
I will be thinking of you - do let us know how you are getting on.
Kerrie 
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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
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Han I don't have any advice for you, but I hope you feel better soon. What does your doctor say about it? Have you had any other blood work done besides checking your thyroid?
I agree with Kerrie - you need time just for you. My kids are all in school all day and I still need time just for me.
After my third child was born I got involved with a group of moms and we took turns every week hosting a play group. Our kids got to play while we talked. It was great knowing we would get conservation with other moms once a week and the kids played well with each other. Besides every child likes to play with new toys.
This may be an option for you and your friends.
Hope this helps and again hope you feel better soon.
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for the suggestions. I know I need me time but it's just so hard. My mothers (my own and hubby's) are incredibly supportive and will babysit anytime I ask but the truth is I just don't feel like going anywhere or doing anything.
I've been almost hospitalized at least 5 times - you know where the Dr is sitting there waiting for you to say OK because they can't hospitalize you without your consent ....
The day care idea is a good thing - I'm starting to think about it more seriously. In the meantime, my wonder moms have both volunteered to take my 2 year old for a morning a week. That may help a bit, too.
Kerrie - how's Brad? I've been thinking about you and your family. How's your little man? Where are you in the IVF process?
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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I did..and it was horrible. I wish I knew then what I know now about taking some natural supplements to help balance out my hormones which were severely out of whack. I finally got over it, but not after some battles with my mom, mother in law and myself. I will definitely know for next time to balance myself out. I know that this wasn't much advice for you, but you might try some Chaste Berry, Evening Primrose Oil and/or Dong Quai if you need to. Just check the precautions if you are nursing. Hope all is well soon.
Christianne
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What if the Hokey Pokey is what it's all about???
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You had PPD after your son, too? You poor thing. I thought medication would help. Are they maybe giving you too much medication? I think admitting you are having trouble and taking it one day at a time is sometimes all you can do. I think it is great that your moms are willing to help. Just know it won't last forever.
I had it until Meike was almost a year old. My started from a variety of factors. I had a difficult delivery, my IBS started within a week after she was born, she didn't sleep for 6 weeks, I had mastitis (breast infection) twice, she cried all the time because she wasn't getting enough to eat. Things did get better once I started bottle feeding. She gained 7 pounds in a month. The poor thing.
I have to tell you that it got worse when I started taking the pill. My doctors insited it's suppose to regulate your hormones but I think, with the drastic change, it made things worse. I couldn't control my emotions. It stopped when I went off the pill, believe it or not.
Does any of this apply to your situation? I know how difficult it is just to get through the day to day. It is hard when your toddler decides you are not doing what he wants. It is hard listening to the baby cry. I would get to the point where I would put them in their rooms or lock myself in my bedroom to get away. It really is a short season in the scheme of things. I pray you begin to come out of the cloud you are under.
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in IBS diet board. You know what is funny? You asked me about going from one to two when you were pregnant. I was so cautious not to let on how hard it was for me. I thought maybe I was the exception and I had the PPD with her. Now you are trying to be careful and trying to be positive for me. I really appreciate that about you.
You know what is great for tantrums? I would put Meike in her crib until she stopped crying. Each time she was spend less and less time. That girl is strong willed. Sometimes it is easier to give in, just to stop the crying and the noise. It usually makes it worse later on. I am finding that out now.
So you really think this one is a boy? I guess we will have to wait to find out. We have no feeling one way or another this time.
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Thank you so much for your support. It's so nice that we have people here we can lean on for a few words of encouragement. It all balances out in the end, doesn't it?
Anyway, yes, I had PPD with Liam. You might be right about the pill thing ... I'll ask my Doc about that one.
The tantrum thing can sometimes take all our energy - but we refuse to give in. We keep thinking that by not letting him get his way that they'll stop. We usually either ignore him or tell him that it will not help him get his way. Unfortunately, he has a bed now and not a crib. He'd just climb out of it.
On the flip side, I really think I'm through the worst of it. I don't feel completely h orrible like I did at Christmastime. The meds take a LONG time to really work well. My children are my joy and will ultimately get me through it. Quinlan is so adorable now - she's giggling and really gets into her toys now. Liam bless his heart, is a super kid when he's not throwing tantrums. He's really good 90% of the time. IT's just that the 10% is pretty nasty.
As for you going to 3, I have no doubt in my mind that it's a lot easier than going from 1 to 2. Furthermore, your girls are great and will be a tremendous support for you. Plus, you've been through it twice, and you will not have another wee one to reckon with (which we did the second time).
And yes, I really think it's a boy. Don't ask me how - it's just a gut feeling. Wait till you're a bit further along - I started to tell between 8 and 13 weeks - and I was right both times!
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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Han,
Brad is great now. Once he started getting better it really happened quickly. He was on his medication for a pretty long time before it started to help but once it did it was good. Hopefully yours will start to help soon too.
The IVF process is heart breaking and becoming very difficult. I'm still hopeful but am just trying to get through one day at a time at the moment. I have been diagnosed with depression but am trying to handle it without drugs at the moment and I think I'm doing OK. I have good days and bad I guess. I'm very thankful for the fact that I have a lot of support from family and friends and the people here.
Do think about the day care. Harrison has always been in care two days a week while I work since he was 14 months but recently I have put him in for a third day at the suggestion of my psychologist who says I need a day for me. The first time I did it I felt so guilty and I cried nearly all day. But as time has gone on I have realised that if I have that day just for me it makes me so much calmer, so much more relaxed and gives me patience and time for Harrison on the days I have with him. I think that is better for him than seeing me depressed and crying all the time. Also, he is doing so well at Kindy and I think his time there has really advantaged him socially and academically. He loves it and I get time to myself so after getting over the intial guilt and separation I really believe it is the best thing for both of us.
Keep in touch,
Kerrie
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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
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You are a really amazing person, Kerrie, to go through what you have these last few months and still see the sunshine. I can only imagine how hard it is for you right now with the IVF AND depression. Wow. You must be very strong willed to manage it without meds. I would fall to pieces I think.
I'll take your advice and think about the daycare some more. I know that ultimately, you are so right. I just have to be able to process it all. Part of the problem is my OCD coming in saying NO! Don't send him to daycare or he'll get sick from all the germs and viruses. It's not just the depression, it's the terror I deal with in trying to face a non-sterile world. Germs and viruses terrify me to the point where I can hardly leave the house.
I hope that if I give it time to absorb, I'll be able to work it into my head, and into my life.
Hugs to you.
Love Han.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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Quote:
in IBS diet board. You know what is funny? You asked me about going from one to two when you were pregnant. I was so cautious not to let on how hard it was for me. I thought maybe I was the exception and I had the PPD with her. Now you are trying to be careful and trying to be positive for me. I really appreciate that about you.
You know, I feel exactly the same way about you!
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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Han,
Thank you for the lovely things you said though I definately don't think I'm amazing and sometimes I'm very close to giving in and taking meds. However, it is just that my heartbreaking need to have another child is stronger than the need to give in and take the meds. If I take them I have to stop the IVF and that is just an unbearable thought for me right now. Whilst I'm not on meds I do have a lot of cognitive therapy going on. That is what keeps me afloat I think.
Also, I have some idea where you are coming from with the OCD as both my husband and I have been diagnosed with it. He really fears the germs etc and is also constantly checking himself a million times over with everything related to work. (Though he's really well now)
I do have problems with germs but my real issue is tidiness and order. I was getting so ahead of myself that I was doing my big house clean a day earlier all the time to make sure "it got done". Let's just say I wound up doing everything every day and running myslef ragged. My anxiety comes from worrying about how I'll get everything done in time etc, and done perfectly. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I feel like I can't control the baby situation so I have to control everything else that I can.
I can't bear a single thing to be out of place whereas my husband is fine with that.
It is true that they do get sick often for a while when they first go into care. Harry had a different cold each week for the first few months but after that I think his immunity was built up and he was fine. Now he just suffers the occasional illness as he would if I kept him home. I hope that doesn't scare you but I thought you might want to know what to expect.
I admire you for even looking into the day care when it directly challenges your fears. That shows real strength. I would visit lots of different centres until you find one that you are really happy with. That was what I did and I specifically asked about washing hands, the handling of food etc. Let's face it you pay good money so you have every right to know everything.
You are doing a fantastic job.
Kerrie
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Hi, Can you tell me how you did durning your pregnancy. I have had a few misses and im scared. I have IBS bad but it not running right now. They tell me its because of the hormone change. Did you get tummy aches? I can not tell if it is my bowels and insides or the baby. I am really scared and just wondering how you felt.
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First, Congratulations!! I'm also really sorry to hear about you losses. How far along are you?
I am only 6 1/2 weeks along. My IBS started after my last pregnancy so I can't really say how it will be during a pregnancy. HanSolo has two children and Lana is due the end of April. My IBS has been pretty good but that was happening a few weeks before I was actually pregnant. I was finding I could eat foods I never would have before. The only problem I had was with a vitamin that had a stool softener. It made me pretty sick. I only took them twice and the new one works great.
I do get a little crampy at times. Is that what you mean? Right now it is the ligaments stretching. It is scary all the changes your body goes through when you pregnant. It is hard not to worry something will go wrong, especially with what you have been through.
I find I have more constipation now. The constipation is maybe one day a week and it isn't too uncomfortable. I can also get gassy when I'm pregnant. Well, let's say it can be worse.  Let me know if I am answering you questions. I'm not sure.
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Welcome and Congrats. Torbetta had good suggestions - it's great - you two can go through your pregnancies at the same time!
Don't worry - you CAN manage IBS through pregnancy. It can get a bit tricky, but nothing we can't handle (I think!)
As for feeling sick, well, who knows the cause. It could be IBS, or it could be those wonderful first few weeks of being pregnant. I was nauseous all the time! I felt like I could gag on the drop of a dime.
Try LOTS of ginger tea - it's great for upset tummies. Peppermint is also great. Ginger tea- cut a slice the size of a quarter and steep in a mug of boiling water.
Let us know what questions you have- we're here to help.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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Thanks, At this point all the support I can get makes me feel less alone. As for my IBS I am C and its killing me. I am high risk so I cant really take any thing. I have a doc apt tomarrow so I will be asking a lot of questions.
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Sorry I didn't read your post before now, Hans....I feel for you. I've never had children and cannot have children, so I don't know exactly how you are feeling, but I have had depression and know how hard that can be. I hope you are feeling better soon and just know that we are all here for you. {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}
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