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Sick of ruining things for other people...
      #369972 - 08/14/13 03:31 AM
Roxstar

Reged: 02/12/12
Posts: 122


Just "ruines" another family outing by not being able to go at the 11th hour.
We were supposed to go to the movies. I woke up with like 15 minutes to get ready and felt really bad so had loperamide and pretzels. ALso had peppermint tea. Was no way I could go so the family decided to stay home but some of them I can tell are angry.
Now apparently I don't "look" sick...and if I want to go out later once the medication kicks in I can't because apparently if I am too sick to go anywhere now, then later I will also be too sick.

It's hard because on one hand they say they do not want to leave me at home as tbey feel bad, but if they choose to stay home when I have told them they can go, I somehow still pay for it with little digs at me.

IBS gets thrown in my face whenever we argue and I am sick of it. It's only one family member who acts this way and I get their frustration....they do love me but when this happens I can see how disappointed everyone is and a small part of me doesn't want them going to something aweosme with out me but a big part of me wants them to go and enjoy themselves. I guess I just don't want to miss out..As it is I take water and pretzels to the movies and I don't begrudge them having popcorn, coke and icecreams. I just wish that I too could have something at times and wish that someone would not get so angry initially. She can go if she wants I don't force anyone to stay home and I don't try and make them feel bad.

I'll be glad to hopefully get more answers soon.



Edited by Roxstar (08/14/13 03:46 AM)

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Re: Sick of ruining things for other people... new
      #369983 - 08/15/13 12:27 AM
Sassie

Reged: 07/02/13
Posts: 188
Loc: The Netherlands, Europe

Quote:


I woke up with like 15 minutes to get ready and felt really bad so had loperamide and pretzels.




Hi Roxstar, It is not nice to feel so bad about it. I supose it is difficult for others to understand it. But do you mean by the part I did quote, that you had to be in a hurry to leave? For me that never works. I just really need 1 hour at minimum between waking up and leaving.

Perhaps it is also the fear how about people will react on you if you can't make it and then it happens that you can't go. If people are relaxed with it, perhaps you won't be stressed out and you will make it. Sometimes it is also the mental part (the stress, a big ibs-trigger!!!) in it.

1st of all: Try not to blame yourself if they are feeling bad. You said they can go, then it is up to them what they decide.

2nd: Try to get your hands on the hypnosecd's. They can work for you at this kind of moments.

3rd: Realize you're not alone in this and perhaps you can give the people (who don't understand it, but you want them to understand it more) this website as information, so they can learn about it and help you to learn to handle this.

Good luck.

Saskia

PS sorry for the mistakes, english is not my first language and I am little tired..

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Re: Sick of ruining things for other people... new
      #369991 - 08/15/13 09:38 PM
Roxstar

Reged: 02/12/12
Posts: 122


Thank you so much that made me feel better .:) I will try and get them to read up on this so they understand it more. I know they want to understand and I know that I myself get frustrated with myself a lot too.



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