Friends not sympathetic?
#366110 - 09/18/11 03:51 PM
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Hi everyone! I'm new around here, but not new to IBS and have been following this site for a while!
I'm just wondering how IBS affects everyone's friendships/relationships?
I'm lucky enough to have a really supportive family, but I can't say the same for my friends. I have one really great and sympathetic friend, but the rest really don't seem to understand.
My roommate in particular is a problem. I've really been struggling with my IBS the past year, and my friends don't seem to understand why I keep having to cancel plans. My roommate will invite me to go somewhere with her, or will ask me to do something like give her a ride somewhere, and often I just don't feel well enough to do it. She always says to me "but you never feel well". She tries to make me feel like I'm doing something wrong, and I can't seem to make her understand that it's not me being selfish, I really am not well enough to do things.
Anyone else have this problem? Do people understand when you have to cancel or can't do favors for them? How do you make people understand the nature of IBS and that it's not just excuses/being over dramatic? I'm terrible with confrontation, too.
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IBS A (more D than C). Severe GERD & Hiatal Hernia as well.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
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I'm sorry your friends aren't being sympathetic, that stinks. It feels lonely sometimes when you're the only one in your circle who has health issues. And it makes you feel worse when the people around you don't try to empathize or understand.
But what you can do is focus on the fact that you have a family and at least one friend who is supportive. A lot of people don't even have that.
And the next time someone tries to make you feel bad or tells you you're being selfish, just tell them you can't help that you don't feel well and leave it at that. If they don't understand, it's their problem. To be honest, they're the ones being selfish.
Keep your chin up 
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