Does anyone besides me feel isolated and lonely with IBS-D???
#351859 - 11/09/09 01:34 PM
|
|
|
|
Windchimes
Reged: 09/05/09
Posts: 581
Loc: Northern California
|
|
|
I'm really feeling bummed. My small handful of closest friends and family don't want to hear about my bowel problems and why I can't join them to indulge in specific foods nor eat at certain restaurants that do not offer foods that are 'safe' for IBS.
I feel so abandoned and so very lonely. I just can't eat what other people eat and their comments depress me, as if I've got a screw loose in my head. IBS is a REAL condition and not fun at all!
If I were to tell all of these people off, I would not have any 'friends' at all! What does one do???
Some days I would rather die than put up with these people and live alone and lonely forever. Even my pastor nor his wife offers any understanding nor compassion.
I can only do what I do on any given day, and that can vary based on symtoms and needs.
Is there anyone on this thread who understands???
--------------------
Senior female, IBS-D, presently stable thanks to Heather & Staff
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
I don't tell anyone either..maybe don't get into specifics just say I have a sensitive stomach or I have to follow a diet becaue of digestive issues but don't go into detail..maybe say the diet stuff is very specific and u don't want to take a chance so you only eat what u make yourself..maybe say you will go out and have some tea or plain water and chat with them? yes I understand I don't get to do anything with my ibs,except be home ain my roomn alone, until I go to work
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Oh my, I feel for you. Maybe it's time for some new friends. Friends are supposed to accept and support you warts and all. I don't think you need those kind of friends.
When my friends and I get together, they just accept what is. I love them for it, too. Their comments are not rude. We do joke about it at times, but they are laughing with me, not at me. And, I am the first to laugh at myself. Laughter is a big key here.
My family is aware that at times, I am not in the best of shape, and they just roll with the punches.
Oh, and wow is dating not a joy. I dated this guy for a year, and he just looked at me and said, "You're kiddin me, you haven't been to the bathroom for 10 days." After that comment, I kinda knew, he wasn't the one. 
I can run in a cycle of D, but the whole time I dated him, I was C. After I dumped him, I was normal again. lol
You really can't trade off the family, but I would certainly rethink these "so-called" friends.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
It's difficult not just with friends but with family. My husband wants to know why I am not ready to up and run at the drop of a hat. I said I am trying to tell you I have IBS and what that means. He said he wanted to know, but not right now. Maybe another time. Well sometimes I feel good and sometimes not and when I am not I am a grouch and want to be a bum on the couch. We are driving to Panama City this Thursday for a weekend at the beach and a car show. He gets mad because I won't "commit" to getting together with friends on Saturday to drive up and down the strip. What he doesn't get it I can't say yes or no because I don't know. My mom is trying to understand and has made an effort to understand how I feel and try to find foods I can eat. The most frustrating part is work. They totally don't understand and I have tried to explain some but they still don't get it. I can be fine one moment and then the next I can be having an attack. Then it goes away and I am ok. Some mornings I can't even get to work on time because of my problem. They just don't understand, but I need the job. I am glad I can come here like you have and vent to people who truly understand.
--------------------
When all else fails.....have tea.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Feeling isolated and lonely definitely can be a part of ibs, especially if you are not stable.
You need a support system. Doesn't sound like you have that right now. Family first, then friends. I'm hoping you are close with at least one person in your family with whom you can confide how you're really feeling.
As for friends, if they cannot accept you for you then the really aren't a friend are they? I don't have a lot of friends. One best friend. A few people I talk to at work but don't see outside the office. And 2 friends I've know 1 my whole life literally and 2 since high school. That sums it up. My colleagues know that I have IBS. I don't hide it because educating people about it is just as important as getting stable.
I hope you feel you can always vent to your online IBS friends. That's why we're here. I know it's not the same as sitting with your girlfriends for a cup of tea, but it does help.
Once you're stable, if you're not already, you could try meeting new people - change churches for a sermon or two, take a class at the community centre or library etc. There's lots of ways to meet new people.
If your "friends" are still there in the end then they are your friends. If they are not there in the end, they are not worth lost sleep. Sorry, brutally honest, but I've been there too many times.
I suppose I'm very lucky. My husband and family are very understanding. I don't know many people who stand outside the bathroom door making sure you're still conscious... but my DH does. And my best friend sympathizes as she's dairy free too so she is compassionate to what I go through.
Hugs!
--------------------
Cassandra
Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like you've never loved before.
IBS A 20+ years, Chronic Migraines, Chiari Malformation (decompressed June 22, 2010), Brachial Neuritis, and ??? the list just keeps growing, but I'm still shiny side up! 
Edited by Toady (11/09/09 06:02 PM)
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
yea i got 1 freind i would be screwed if i didnt at least have him so i know how u feel it does suck to not be able to eat when people are talking about how good the food is  i do nothing eather but be around the house
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
BOY, do I EVER understand what you are saying! 
--------------------
Senior female, IBS-D, presently stable thanks to Heather & Staff
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
I am a senior and haven't dated in several years now. The last man (allegedly a Christian and attended church with me) was a total loser who did not understand anything... very critical and controlling, and basicically wanted me to take care of HIM and meet all of HIS needs... no thanks, and instand diarrhea. Talk about a flare for IBS-D, he certainly was and I promptly dumped him!
--------------------
Senior female, IBS-D, presently stable thanks to Heather & Staff
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Well I can relate to what you said here! Some days I'm stuck pretty much to my bed, except for the dashing trips to the bathroom. I do know what I can eat, but don't have the energy to get up and make it for myself.
I have no help around here, live alone, and no understanding neighbors, friends, nor relatives. Some days I wish they would simply leave me some low-fat, low-sodium chicken broth on my porch. I would appreciate that, given I have to drive 30 minutes each way in my rural area to buy anything in the way of food.
I guess some of us feel depressed and discouraged at times. Overcoming IBS is something that requires attention and seemingly significant time and money shopping for foods that we can safely eat and easily prepare.
I honestly don't have anyone in my life at this time locally who understands this.
--------------------
Senior female, IBS-D, presently stable thanks to Heather & Staff
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Have you checked for any support groups in your area? If there aren't any, why don't you start one. Then you can meet friends who can understand and you would have someone to hang with. Just a thought.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Posts
