IBS symptoms in social situations
#351217 - 10/27/09 12:02 AM
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I'm wondering if anyone else experiences this. Whenever I am in social situations, my IBS symptoms really flare up. It could be anxiety, though I often find myself caught up in talking or whatever and am usually pretty distracted. In the past I probably ate trigger foods when out with friends, but recently nearly all social engagements have been in my home with food I prepare. Last night friends came over and were here for about 2 hours. By the time they left I was in crippling pain in my lower gut, so I spent the next 20 minutes on the toilet passing gas. Then my gut felt irritated and sick the rest of the evening. I suspect it's because I hold gas in when I am with other people rather than releasing it as necessary. How do others handle this embarrassing problem? I often don't notice the problem until I am in terrible pain because I am so distracted. Maybe I should sip fennel tea when spending time with friends? Can anyone relate?
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Yes I relate! But it doesn't happen to me all the time like it used to, just once in a while. For me it was a combination of social anxiety, and lack of self-awareness. Learning meditation, or yoga or other similar things (and going to a therapist too!) helped me to keep my breathing more even, to be more comfortable in my own skin and to be more in touch with myself while doing other things like visiting friends. I think that's what helped me the most.
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Ladies & gentlemen take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice.
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Yes, I can relate. If I am socially uncomfortable, the increase in gas and bloating is tremendous. I never understood why, until I was DX'd with IBS and realized the connection between gas and feeling uncomfortable.
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Do you take any anti anxiety meds?
Sometimes even when I'm at home my IBS flares and I have to take half a pill.It's enough to keep everything calm.
I also hang around a girlfriend who farts ALL THE TIME!!
We know it we laugh she is fine with it so if I have to leave the party and hit the bathroom for 10 or 15 min she knows its because I have IBS.
It really helps to have good friends who understand your problems but don't make you feel awkward about it.
When I get back we continue on with our conversation.
Do your friends know about your IBS?You could always just step outside for a bit of fresh air and then let'er rip.
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IBS-D since 1999...mostly stable..i do cheat too.Bad me.
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I let those silent but deadly ones. lol  One way or another, I get it out of me. 
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That's very insightful. I never thought of it as a lack of awareness of myself. I do have social anxiety especially these days being so symptomatic and with such a specific diet. And I wouldn't say I am very comfortable in my own skin. So much to work on! I appreciate your thoughts - it helps me to understand things better.
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I don't take any anti-anxiety meds. I'm working hard to avoid medication if I can help it. My ND is helping me deal with anxiety which is amazing. She is more helpful than the psychiatrist I saw through my HMO. I was thinking of trying Rescue Remedy which has actually helped my dog with anxiety and I hear it works well for people.
It's great that you have a friend who totally understands and isn't disgusted by your IBS symptoms. My friends really don't ask or seem to want to know about it. They ask a couple questions and then give me the answer to all my problems (take digestive enzymes or avoid such and such food). The only person who knows what I go through day to day is my husband and I am so grateful for him. However, he has a great gut and can eat just about anything he wants, so even though he's extremely supportive, he can not understand the suffering, or the anxiety and depression around the suffering I go through daily.
Another poster pointed out the importance of self-awareness, which makes a lot of sense to me. I tend to ignore the signals my body gives when I am in social situations because I am embarrassed to disappear into the bathroom for more than a couple minutes, or even to step outside in the middle of a conversation. Instead, I tend to avoid social gatherings pretty much all together, which makes me feel isolated and like I am missing out on a huge part of my life.
Thank you so much for your reply. I appreciate your thoughts.
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Ahh yes. Why did I not make this connection?
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You hit the nail on the head! Being comfortable in your own skin. A mighty mission. 
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Did you know that there are many Flower Remedies besides Rescue. That is more for immediate crisis. You can see a practioner and have a blend made up for your unique problems. I am working with an energy worker now who specializes in the Flowers. She had made a special blend that I am experimenting with. She included Star of Bethlehem in this particular blend for PTSD. We are going to tweak it as we go along. I think she has about 6 different Flowers in my blend. I just wanted you to know that you can get it specific to you, and not a generic blend.
She is giving the Flowers to me for free for now, since she wants to see how Star of Bethlehem helps me. She is very kind and supportive. Moreso than any doc I have ever seen.
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I didn't know that - thanks for the info. I will need to investigate further!
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Ohh I was soo reluctant to get meds for this anxiety but I finally had had enough so I asked, and my doctor really worked with me.
She gave me a baby dose to take and she said only take it when you need to.
For me that meant going on long car rides or going to parties.Concerts at the school.Once I get where I am going I usually would be fine but its the getting there part that would send me to the bathroom in severe pain.
I hardly ever take them anymore and that was like only half a pill once a month maybe.I haven't needed them for months.Just knowing I have them helps relieve the stress because they really work.
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IBS-D since 1999...mostly stable..i do cheat too.Bad me.
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Boy can I relate! I have the same issue. If I am going to an event where there is food I basically avoid eating because the food there is usually not OK for me to eat. I either eat a small meal before or eat after. This usually works for me It can be challenging. I thank God for those silent farts. If I am with friends most of them know what I can't eat. I have come to the point where if I am offered something that I know will make me sick and I am amongst people I don't know very well I will let them know I have a weak stomach and can't eat that rather than going into the whole story of IBS. I don't really like a lot of social situations to begin with but all the people on this thread sound great and we should all get together and let her rip!
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I have the same problem going places. I am especially fearful of long road trips and plane rides. Maybe a really low dose of anti-anxiety med would take the edge off enough for me to be comfortable. It's exhausting living in fear all the time.
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It's ironic that you mentioned this because I had a situation that relates to this just yesterday. I work at a great place and have a wonderful boos who takes us out to lunch once a month. Yesterday he took us to a Japanese steak house. I had already had it in my mind what I was eating and what I couldn't. I was not stressed over that but here we are not 20 minutes into the lunch when I have to excuse myself to the restroom. I had to do this about 3 times during the process. As another person said, I am not big on social gathering anyways, but these are people I am very comfortable with, but my stomach was in knots and I could barely eat what I had ordered. I ate maybe 5 or 6 bites and I was done. The rest came home. By the way, mostly my pains are not severe. Usually they are like pms cramps and sometimes I just feel like a knot in my stomach and can tell. Does anyone elses cramps feel like this?
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When all else fails.....have tea.
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Gerikat, can you e-mail some information about what you are talking about. The flower thing. I don't completely understand what you were exactly talking about but I would be interested in trying something to ease my IBS and my anxiety attacks. My e-mail address is AChangeForLifeInAlabama@yahoo.com Thanks!
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When all else fails.....have tea.
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Sure, no problem. I will email the link to your email address.
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I do have to admit....its heaven!!! 
The only thing is it makes me tired.As long as I don't stop moving..I'm good.BUT when I need agood night sleep it helps too.
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IBS-D since 1999...mostly stable..i do cheat too.Bad me.
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Yes I know the knot quite well. There are gas pains and pressure but "the knot" is the one I am trying to stabilize. The knot pain is unpredictable and for me comes in waves. It is the one that has caused such violent attacks which result in vomiting 2-4 times. I used to like social activities more and hope to one day get this under control so I can feel more at ease and carefree like I used to at social gatherings. I am sorry you had such a hard lunch. I sympathize because I had a situation back in March where I went to do a private showing of my artwork at a clients house in Phoenix. The knot was there the whole time and kept getting worse. I was in and out of their bathroom and ended up having to lay down in their guestroom! I got into my car later while in excruciating pain and drove to my friends house in Scottsdale. I had to pull over in city traffic so I could run into a gas station bathroom because the vomit attack was coming on. I made it to my friends house and threw up two more times. I was exhausted, embarrassed and weak. I hope you got to enjoy your meal later on when you were more comfortable.
Julie
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Boy I am reading this and I am feeling like I am hearing my own thoughts. Thank you for writing all this Frygirl. I truly understand all the anxiety that you stated about going to the bathroom for too long or leaving get a together because I am in pain or have bloating etc. When you try to tell certain people they try to tell you how to fix it and they have no idea.
I like you tend to avoid social situations so I don't have to deal with being uncomfortable around people I may not know very well and feel isolated as well. I feel your pain.
Julie
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I did have it later and it was good. I am sorry you have such a difficult time. I have not thrown up so I am thankful for that, but I do have anxiety attacks as well and I sometimes think that maybe I'd rather have something else as a side effect. I am learning to deal with the attacks though and I seem to be dealing with them better (not as severe). I am also on a small dose anxeity pill now. I take 1/2 to 1 per day but today was particularly bad and I added another 1/2. Uggg......going to see the doc on Monday.
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When all else fails.....have tea.
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