Pregnant and need to vent...
#350552 - 10/03/09 12:24 PM
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Ulrika
Reged: 08/20/06
Posts: 581
Loc: Uppsala, Sweden
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Hello there the few of you who are "oldies" here and remember me. Finally after all my health issues over the past few years we felt the time was right to get pregnant. And pregnant we got straight away and I am thankful for that. I am not so thankful however that the nausea hit me straight away. I am only in the very beginning of week 5 and today I have felt sick all day apart from 4-6 hours in the middle of the day. I have thrown up once in the am and several times in a row in the late afternoon. In the am the nausea went away after I threw up but not in the afternoon.
As you may remember I have anxiety issues from all the stuff I've been through. After I had the colostomy surgery last fall and got a chronic gastritis and felt sick a lot the anxiety got worse and in the spring and late summer I've had panic attacks. The attacks aren't the worst part though. They settle down quickly. It's the increased level of tension and nervousness that lingers afterwards that's the worst part. First I was on a drug called Atarax but it's not ok during pregnancy and when getting off it gave me panic attacks I switched to Lergigan (prometazine) which is also used for morning sickness. And yet I threw up.
I really hope this is just temporary. I want to be happy now that I am pregnant and not worry and feel sick.
Another thing that I'm sad about is that my choir will be on national tv. We're supposed to record 4 tv services on Oct 17-18. Now I don't know if I'll be able to participate. I've read that the pregnancy hormones will hit you more in week 7-8 or so. I sure hope they don't when I've felt this sick today as early as maybe day 29 or something like that.
Please those of you who are religious, pray for me! And for those of you who aren't just keep your fingers crossed this will get better fast so I can enjoy the pregnancy. 
I don't want to sound like I'm not grateful - I know so many people struggle to get pregnant and for us it worked on the first try (of course it's still early and you shouldn't count your chickens, but I don't want to go through this for nothing) - but it's hard to be really HAPPY when you feel miserably sick. I will start cognitive behavioral therapy a week from now and I hope I'll feel a bit better then so I can go see the therapist and go to pregnancy controls and things I like doing without being afraid. We don't have a car so I'll have to take the bus or a cab. Pushing very hard to try to see a silver lining I guess I can say that I will be forced to do some serious work on my nausea phobia! :P
Thanks for your support.
Hugs to all of you from me!
P S In case you're curious I can tell you that my colostomy works perfectly and since the stubborn post operative nausea cleared I've been able to eat pretty much everything apart from spicy hot food and really sour things - like larger amounts of balsamic vinegar et.c. So for me (remember I had (yes I don't consider myself to really suffer from IBS anymore although my upper GI tract is sensitive) IBS-D and nerve damages in the pelvic floor so I couldn't hold the BM back) the colostomy was really the right thing to do. I've been able to enjoy life so much, joined a choir for example. And I attended a yoga class before I got pregnant - we'll see if I'll feel well enough to go to any more classes.
Edited by Ulrika (10/03/09 12:29 PM)
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Congratulations!!
Good to see you posting, and you will be in our prayers. Stay well, and we hope you have the chance to sing with all your heart.
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 Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow”. Mary Anne Radmacher
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Congratulations that's so wonderful about the baby and the choir.
Far as the televised choir thing goes I would say plan on being there but don't beat yourself up if you can't be.
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Stable IBS D
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Incidentally I don't believe there's any rule saying you have to be ecstatically happy while pregnant. Pregnancy can be rough and tough to cope with. There's is no shame or lack of gratitude in admitting that.
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Stable IBS D
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Hi Ulrika,
Don't know if you remember my old posts, but I certainly understand the panic and anxiety. I've been helped enormously by therapy which for me was a combination of CBT and Gestalt therapy. It was not a 100% cure, but a huge difference in my life. I was able to get off of anxiety drugs and stop feeling as though the anxiety and panic could control my life. I haven't had a panic attack for over 1 year now. I was having one big one a month and almost daily lesser ones.
Even with all the difficulties, I'm so happy to hear you're pregnant! My wife really struggled with nausea and throwing up during pregnancy. I like what Glassgow girl told you - you're allowed to not be glowingly happy at all times in your pregnancy - its incredibly difficult! There are tons of websites with different advice on the "morning" sickness, from ginger lollypops, to the wrist bands that press into your acupressure points and more too I'm sure in the few years since my wife was pregnant. They're all probably worth a try. I hope you feel better very very soon!!!
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Ladies & gentlemen take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice.
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Congratulations!!! that is such wonderful news!!!
Yup, I had the morning sickness all day for about 2 months. I know exactly how you feel, and it sucked. But by the second trimester (the "Honeymoon trimester"), you'll have forgotten all about it, trust me! 
Have you tried acupuncture? It actually helped considerably with my nausea, and who knows, maybe it will help with your anxiety issues as well?
Congrats, and I hope you feel better soon! This is such an amazing, wonderful, exciting time in your life! You WILL be able to enjoy it, don't worry! Those first few months are definitely the hardest.
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Lisa, IBS-C (Vegan)
Stable since July 2007!
Mommy to Rhiannon Marie (Dec. 13, 2008)
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That's great news for you, Ulrika! And please vent all you want! You know we're here for you!
Life with an ostomy is very means constant vigilance, but you are an incredibly smart, dedicated, clever girl, so it strikes me that your life will not be slowed one bit! My friend Andy in a wheelchair from a motorcycle accident forever ago, however, just got his and doesn't take care of it at all. That thing is a, 8-cornered dirty, translucent plastic bag. Just awful. Nothing like yours, which looked to me more like a fashion accessory! Very hip! (OK, slight pun intended!) 
Is this the first grandchild for the grandparents? My mother's given up on me (finally!) and my brother helped a lot by getting married and having one of his own. Yea for me! Plus, I get to be Eccentric Aunt, with the random $20 handouts and age-inappropriate gifts, Tee heee. Hey, that kid's growing my spare parts. I'm getting on his good side early!
I like the new hair in your profile pic! Very pretty, and it suits you nicely!
~nelly~
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First of all congratulations Ulrika. It sounds like you've come through a lot, had a wish come true and now you've got mixed feelings because of the nausea - it's perfectly understandable. The sick feelings do wear off, I had them for about 5 weeks. Keeping a steady blood sugar can help alot if you can manage it. Your body will nourish baby no matter what (I dropped a bit of weight when I had attacks but it all came back and scans show baby is growing beautifully). You can definitely believe your body will handle this pregnancy like any girl without IBS, hang in there, you can get through it!
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Update
#350781 - 10/14/09 04:12 AM
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Ulrika
Reged: 08/20/06
Posts: 581
Loc: Uppsala, Sweden
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Thanks for all your comments. Actually it turned out I probably just had a stomach bug. Haven't had one before since 2000 I think so the timing was certainly interesting, but then again the immune system does change a bit when you're pregnant. Anyway I started feeling a lot better after about 24 hours and after that I have been ok up until the day before yesterday. I suppose it's the "real" morning sickness that is starting to appear now. I tend to feel sick early in the morning and late at night and at the end of meals, so I need to make sure I eat more often and smaller quantities each time. I wear acupressure wristbands whenever I remember. I am now almost 6 weeks pregnant.
It looks like I will be able to participate in the tv recording with the choir this weekend which is great! (Though quite exhausting. I am pretty tired anyway, and with pregnancy I don't have more energy. :P Yesterday we had rehearsal from 6.30 p.m. - 9.50 p.m. and the recording on Saturday will be 10.30 a.m. - 8 p.m.)
I don't remember if I told you that I got married June 13th this year. I haven't posted any wedding pics here but those of you who "know me" from this forum and are on facebook can just add me and look at some wedding pics there.
Nelly: Thanks for the compliment but the picture is actually pretty old and I just have pigtails on it. We'll see if I'll get around to changing pictures to a more recent one perhaps from my wedding.
/Ulrika
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So I have today entered my 30th week of pregnancy. Things are going ok. I have the usual pregnancy issues such as pelvic pain and joint pain and swelling in general. Plus some special stuff for me, like my ostomy prolapsing due to the increased abdominal pressure and some issues with catheterisation due to swelling, changes in bladder function and anatomical changes caused by the growing uterus. Sometimes it gets a bit too much and sometimes I worry about what will happen with these issues during the remaining part of pregnancy, but for the most part I'm just happy. I will have a planned c-section late May or early June. You can find some belly pics from 28 weeks here.
/Ulrika
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