I'm sad....
#344973 - 04/25/09 03:15 AM
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Rebecca1013
Reged: 04/05/09
Posts: 144
Loc: Catasauqua Pennsylvania
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Would you believe my husband and i got into a fight yesterday, because he feels that my ibs is all in my head! He says he doesn't understand as to why for 7 yrs I was absolutely fine eating whatever i wanted and now it seems i can only tolerate low fat, minimal meat, blah blah you guys know the rest! He says i just need to relax and eat what i want! I wish i could that's what makes it worse, i get flack for trying to eat what my body needs to function properly, and i get a meat head telling me oh it's all in your head, you think you are going to get sick so you do....just eat a sour cream donut or two relax and you will be fine! Or I have my mother telling me to eat what I want and double up on metamucil  and ohhh you will be fine  Well I won't be...I had 3 baby snickers on thursday and could barely walk an hour after eating because of the pain i had in my belly....why in God's name would i make that up? I want to eat snickers from time to time lol i wouldn't make up painful stories so i can't have them, and i certainly don't enjoy laying in bed crying rolled up in a ball cause of the pain Sorry guys just needed to vent, doesn't seem that anyone understands whats going on with my body except for the people on this site....i just thank god i have people to relate to 
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((hugs)) I am sorry your sad. But I have a horrible time trying to get my sisters to understand what I go through with IBS let alone my other health issues. They think the same way, don't worry about, just eat you will be fine... yeah right I spent 30 minutes in the bathroom this morning and then again this afternoon with horrible pains, shaking, sweating, nausea, and anxiety. I did not eat anything that would have triggered an attack but did get upset yesterday during a conversation with my niece so I am thinking that set it off. I have not been able to work for the past 5 months or so and my sisters are giving a bunch of crap over it saying I need to go back to work so that we can pay our rent, bills, and etc. Trying to tell them I can't and why is like talking to a dang wall, ugh !! Just irritates me as to why they can't accept it and understand that everyone is different with this awful disease. Not all of us have the same severity of IBS. I am doing alot better now that I am on the EFI diet but I still have alot trouble. At least now I can eat without getting sick it just comes out the other end when it wants too LOL
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IBS-D, GAD (general anxiety disorder), Major Recurrent Depression, GERD (gastric reflux disease), Hiatal Hernia, PTSD
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Re: I'm sad....
#344982 - 04/25/09 06:46 AM
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Toady
Reged: 04/06/06
Posts: 1299
Loc: A small city, Northwestern Ontario, Canada
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I think at one time or another we have all run into this - spouses, parents, friends telling us to " get over it", "it's in your head" etc. And Rebecca is right, it's sad.
We need love and support not untrained phychological insight! It took my family years to understand. My grandma still thinks I should eat more foods. To which I reply I would love to, but just the prospect of being sick for two weeks therafter isn't worth it to me.
I hope you're feeling better, and I'm sending you HUGS!!!!!!
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Cassandra
Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like you've never loved before.
IBS A 20+ years, Chronic Migraines, Chiari Malformation (decompressed June 22, 2010), Brachial Neuritis, and ??? the list just keeps growing, but I'm still shiny side up!
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I have ran into the same issues with family members telling me not to stress theres always a bathroom around you can go to. Thats not the issue its if I get to the bathroom in time or not and who wants to live like that. They make it seem so simple and fixable. I get soooo irrated with people like that. Thats why we vent on here though because there are people like us who understand and are in the same boat as you. Hope you feel better 
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It made me feel good knowing i wasn't the only one dealing with people minimizing what we go through, or acting as though it is an imaginary prob.....THANKS GUYS!!
((hugs)) ((hugs)) 
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Urgency is the biggest bummer. 
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Yes urgency is a bummer. If I didn't have that I might be able to deal with day to day situations. It makes it so hard to go anywhere. How have you been dealing with this issue?
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Yes, at times. It is the biggest anxiety/stressor for me. You see, I was IBS-C for most of my life. Of course, when I was a kid, I didn't know that. I just know I couldn't ever go to the bathroom. As a young woman, I continued with the C and major bloat most of the time, but I still lived a normal life. I have never suffered with cramps, so I could pretty much go on about my life. It doesn't mean I wasn't uncomfortable at times, but I dealt with it.
Now, after an accident a year ago, and tremendous stress in both my personal and professional life, I started to go the the bathroom all the time. The stool would be different all the time. There was no pattern to it. I would be D, semi-D, C, and everything in between. So, I consider my self A.
But, in all the time I suffered from C, I have to tell you it is nothing like D and urgency and the constant never ending fear of having an accident. The constant search for a bathroom and wondering if you will make it or not. Really limiting things you do in your life for fear there will not be a bathroom.
My only saving grace is my problems seem to be only in the AM. But, when I was going into the office, it made for a very interesting commute and I hated, I mean hated,every darn minute of it.
I did not want to eat Immodium just to prevent, because then I would get a bellyache from stopping it. So, I just dealt with it. Now, that I am working from home, it has been better, because I can go out in the PM.
If I had a choice, give me C any day over D. D is THE MOST stressful thing I have ever experienced in my life. Luckily, most times I am C more than D.
But, I also have to tell you the hypno tapes have helped alot. They really do reduce the stress and you learn coping methods, and your subconsious knows just what to do.
Mrae, it just isn't easy any way you look at it. But, I do feel it is manageable. I try to look at life as wonderful, full of challenges at times, but so worth it. I also count my blessings every day, because I have plenty of them. I am not that bad off when you look around to people who cannot do anything at all.
HTH
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YOU'RE NOT ALONE
#345049 - 04/26/09 11:07 AM
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Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
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I just read your post aloud to my boyfriend and he got mad and left the room. This is EXACTLY what I'm going through.
The latest harebrained idea in is head is that I should do the Activia challenge and eat the yogurt that makes you poo for 2 weeks, then everything will be better. I'm an IBS-D, for chrissakes, and lactose intolerant like most of us... why would I make that up?? 
Arg. If these people could have this themselves....! I would just laugh, and laugh, and laugh...  OK, no, but I can fantasize. Don't get me started
You are not alone!
~nelly~
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I'm just looking at the info near the bottom of the page and there are nearly 13000 members registered on these boards. Maybe a statistic worth quoting - i don't think 13000 of us are making it up!
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Hi rebecca I know what you mean expect my husband belives me he has seen the pain to many times. We fight about what to eat cause I get so tired of chicken fish and turkey and rice noodles and poatoes! You know you can only fix them so many ways. This gets old very quick when some times I just want pizza or bugers and bean salad you know something easy and differant. He thinks well this what you have to eat eat it but I am really tired of it some days you know! Take care and feel better soon.
emmasmom (Sheila)
ibs-c gas
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I am so sorry! I understand completely! Like everyone else said, you are not alone. My fiance understands, he just gets on to me for eating what I'm not supposed to . But he does it so I'm not in pain.
My Momma, on the other hand, tells me to shut up about it, and I'm annoying talking about my illnesses.
You need to let him come see this website, maybe he will understand better. Are you seeing a GI doctor? Maybe he/she could help him understand better.
I'm so sorry you don't feel well and are having all these problems!
And don't worry, venting is good, everyone needs to every once in a while or else you would blow up on some un-expecting person.
Also, don't try to walk away from a marriage just because there are a few bumps in the road (non of my business but here're my thoughts) Remember, Love is worth it! It is a job, and you have to work through differences. Just my two cents. I know you've probably heard it before, but just a reminder!
{{{HUGS & KISSES & BELLY RUBS}}}
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IBS-C, Gas, Bloating, HURTING!
I'm married and it's so wonderful!
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ooooo how i love your belly rubs!!  lol and thank you, i'm feeling much better, it's just so hard getting accustomed to this new way of eating, and then when you ahve ppl inferring that you are purposely doing this for any reason other than it's for real and super painful is a tad aggrevating....i just want to eat a fruit salad and a bag of brussel sprouts like i used to its not the stuff you would think you'd miss the most like cake and donuts!
I think it is just tough for him to understand because i didn't have these symptoms before...well i did but about ten years ago, and we weren't together then. It went away for so long...
today i cut out the berries .....i had no cramps at all....i stuck to bananas for my fruit i am going to try mangoes and papaya since that is a "go food".
Im still bloated though, but no pain and my bm are good.....
as for leaving my husband....lol even when he is an a*s he is still my best friend lol we both have big mouths (think of My Cousin Vinny with Joe Pesci and Marissa Tomei...that's us lol) we can have huge blowouts and 5 min later laugh about it...only thing is this is tough cause it is a total life change...but it'll get easier with time, I know that
btw....getting close to your big day!!
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Hahahaha! I love that movie, My Cousin Vinny! It is one of my favorites. I am glad that he is your best friend and you can work things out. Eventually, all of this will work out. Todd is the same way, we can disagree (we never really argue, yet  ) but a few minutes later, we are laughing with each other.
Only 18 days from today!!! Woo Hoo Woo Hoo!!! I can't wait!!!!!! Everything is DONE! I got my dress today in the mail!!! It's gorgeous. It was my grandmother's graduation dress which is 65 years old!!! I had it tailored to fit me, and its just beautiful! She is going to have a fit when she sees it! My mom cried at the last fitting!!!
The cakes have been paid for, the caterer is set, the photographer is going to film and take a few pictures, he is set, and the wedding party is set!!!! OMG!!! You don't know how excited I am!!!
If you want to see our honeymoon spot, check out this website: www.bigcedar.com It's fabulous!!!!!!
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IBS-C, Gas, Bloating, HURTING!
I'm married and it's so wonderful!
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That place looks awesome!!!! You go girl. I wish you the best.
Lynn
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That place is absolutely breathtaking!!!! You are going to have a marvelous time....do me a favor and meditate for me on the bridge with the water running under it! That is such a perfect spot ....I am so excited for you I remeber how i was when we got married...(we are going to be getting married again in PA so his family can see it too lol DOUBLE WEDDINGS ).....
Please take pictures of you in that wonderful gown, it sounds so original and interesting! I would love to see how beautiful you look!! 
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Re: For Kappy
#345192 - 04/28/09 11:03 AM
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Kappy
Reged: 10/09/08
Posts: 852
Loc: Mississippi
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Thank you so much! I will take pictures of everything and post it! I can't wait for the honeymoon. Not only will I meditate on the bridge for you, I am going to do a whole yoga sequence there! It looks so peaceful and calming! Maybe that is just what I need to get the gut back on track.
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IBS-C, Gas, Bloating, HURTING!
I'm married and it's so wonderful!
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Good one! :)
#345382 - 05/02/09 09:34 AM
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Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
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13000! I can't believe this site has taken off like that! Hopefully people are finding comfort here... I know I feel like a weight has shifted when I log on. Everyone here should be proud of themselves for being proactive about their health and finding this group!
~nelly~ Member #3757
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That's very true!! To be honest since I stopped trying to eat the high fat foods when I get my sweets cravings (lil baby snickers and that sort of thing! )I've been managing to keep my symptoms at bay....luckily (i am so knocking on wood right now ) the longest i go without a bm is 1 day and a half and my cramps only come when i eat too much....it is amazing the luscious desserts you can make vegan low fat ...i am so happy my whole route to work doesn't entail me scoring the sides of the road for my emergency bathroom route....i am so excited i have some sort of normalcy again! Thanks everyone for your posts! I really appreciated the emotional lift up
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