40th birthday panic!!
#325542 - 02/26/08 10:54 AM
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Nugget
Reged: 02/10/03
Posts: 2167
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OK....I hate to even admit that I'm in a panic right now. But, I'm just about in tears. In fact, if I were at home instead of work right now, I'd just sit down and cry. Am thinking about going home anyway because of the way I feel. My 40th birthday is this weekend and I'm dreading having our families out to our house and all the attention focused on me. All I can think of right now is me as a little girl at one of my birthday paries. We had a neighbor man who was a total jerk. Mean man. My mom was friends with his wife and us kids were friends with his kids, but we hated him. Everyone thought it was sooo funny that he gave out extremely hard spankings to his kids on their birthday. So everyone convinced me (including my parents) that he was going to give ME one of his famous swats on my birthday. That whole evening when they were at our house for my birthday I avoided him. I stayed in my room playing with his daughter and son and dreading to hear my mom call me out to the living room to tell eveyrone goodbye and thank you. She called my name and had me come to the living room. I hurried and sat down on the couch as tight as I could while all the adults and kids laughed at me because I was terrified that he was going to give me a swat. I was scared to death and everyone who could protect me were laughing at me. I don't know why that scenerio keeps playing in my head right now, but it's really bothering me. I think I was maybe 8 years old at the time. I just want to cry!
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Really... adults can be soooo stupid around kids sometimes! Yes, kids do things that could be considered cute because they don't know any better, but adults don't have to laugh at them for it. They don't seem to understand that the kid may remember that someday and still be upset by it. I remember my dad would pick on me and tease me all the time when I was little, then laugh when I didn't understand - and to this day I am not good at taking jokes - especially from males. 
I hope your birthday goes okay for you! Is it too late to just tell everyone you don't want to make a big deal?
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IBS-A since age 12, and fructose sensitive; with the exception of my pregnancy, have been following Heather's diet since Nov. 19, 2007.
Taking 12g of Acacia per day. Relatively stable since March 2008!
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It's just a small get together...because I didn't want a big deal. It will just be my parents, brother, mother in law and possibly my sister in law and her husband. So I don't know why I'm so worked up about it. And I don't want anyone to know I'm this upset. I've got to get myself together before my husband comes home. I went ahead and came home from work and all I can do is cry. I don't understand why I'm not happy.
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Turning 40 is difficult. Actually all the decade birthdays from 30 on are like major milestones or something. But 40 is a big one. It really means you're no longer a kid. Time to be a real adult. I just had the worst time with my latest birthday - dare I say it - 65! I was so upset and depressed. It meant I was an old lady and what did I accomplish with my life? That was January 12. I'm okay with it now. So maybe you are feeling the birthday blues. Try to turn it around and celebrate that you made through 40 years. I had to put on a big smile, eat when my tummy was acting up and pretend I was having the best time with my family when all I wanted to do was curl up in ball. Now I'm proud that I didn't let them know and acted like I was having a great time. And looking back, I'm happy they wanted wanted to celebrate with a big dinner out. I know they love me and I love them.
Sorry if I sound preachy. I do know how you feel. I also know that if you do the curl up in a ball thing, you'll feel miserable afterward. And it's okay to let them know that you aren't thrilled with turning 40 if that is how you feel. Nobody I know loved turning 40, even if they had a huge celebration party.
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