Loss of Pet
#321854 - 01/07/08 02:57 PM
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lalala
Reged: 02/14/05
Posts: 2634
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I'm hoping some of you might have advice on dealing with the loss of a pet. My 5-year old torti Sofa-Cat (Sofia the pumpkin eating cat) suddenly passed away on Christmas day. She wasn't sick and it turned out to be a heart attack due to an underlying, undetectable, untreatable heart condition, which I hear is common in healthy cats that die suddenly.
I saw her die -- one minute perfectly fine, the next writhing and howling, and then dead in seconds -- which was traumatizing. We took her to the emergency vet hospital and requested a necropsy because we didn't know how she could just die like that. BF and I both miss her dearly and find some consolation that she had five healthy, happy, loving years with us. She also seemed to sense a lupus flare before I had one and when I was sick she would curl up next to me and watch over me.
I'm not ready for another pet, but I have to admit I'm surprised at how sad her death has made me. She was really our first companion pet and I did spend a lot of time with her. Not sure what I'm looking for, but I thought I should just share her story. Fortunately, it hasn't seemed to affected my IBS, although I did have a horrible panic attack after we returned from the vet's and then a week later when we collected her ashes. 
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I've lost so many pets. I've always been an animal person and eventually we have to let them all go. Take some time to grieve. And know that it's okay to do. Your pets are a part of your family. My kitties are like my daughters. When they go, I'll be devastated, but it's a part of life.
You'll be alright. Hang in there.
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If you're not dead, you've still got time.
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Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry. I too have lost several "babies" through the years. It's normal to grieve, even if it's just for a pet, because they're a part of your life, part of your family. I always wonder about people who don't feel sad when their pet dies. I cried for every single one of my "babies" that passed away, even my grouchy hamster. I still cry sometimes when I think about them. It gets easier to cope with time, & when you're ready, getting a new "baby" to love helps too. Please know my heart is with you & the memory of your precious Sofia.
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IBS-A...I can never make up my mind 
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Oh, I'm so sorry. I lost my dog the same way. I watched her die...they think of a heart attack or stroke. It was awful. That was 7 years ago and it's still awful. It took me weeks to get better though. I kept thinking she was under my feet when I walked.
This will get better but it'll take time. Allow yourself to grieve.
BIG hugs!
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Flipada - IBS-C "It's a gas, gas, gas"
**Lauren**
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aw, I'm so sorry. The loss of a beloved pet is hard. I'm sure that was very hard to witness. In time I think you'll be ready for another pet. It just takes a while. Pet's have such a hold on our hearts.
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Re: Loss of Pet
#321916 - 01/08/08 08:38 AM
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Erilyn
Reged: 11/14/07
Posts: 743
Loc: Beautiful British Columbia, Canada
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I am soooo sorry!!! My co-worker had the same thing happen to his 2-year old cat a few years ago - his kids found the poor thing on the couch one morning and the vet said the same thing, that it was basically a sudden heart thing. I didn't know such a thing could happen to a young, healthy cat.
I have lost many pets and it is always hard - I cry over all of them , even hamsters. They are all living things, each with their own personalities and they really do become a part of your life. It does get better with time but you will nver forget her. I too have always wondered about people who don't get upset when their pets pass away - but I guess they are the same people that treat pets as a novelty possession, rather than a member of the family.
I also have a torti - Tasha - she will be 11 this June. My husband and I adopted her from the SPCA when she was 6. I know that cats can live upwards of 20 years but I still can't help but worry that she may only have a few years left.
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IBS-A since age 12, and fructose sensitive; with the exception of my pregnancy, have been following Heather's diet since Nov. 19, 2007.
Taking 12g of Acacia per day. Relatively stable since March 2008!
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I am teary eyed reading the posts. It is so hard to lose an animal companion. Especially when it is so sudden and unexpected. Who else would lie next to us when we don't feel well, for hours on end? Who else would be so faithful, loving and loyal? Loss is hard and I feel for you.
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I'm terribly sorry. I have lost two cats, one to cancer and the other ran in the road and got hit by a car right in front of me-talk about traumatic. We buried them both in my garden and they have little garden stones to mark their spots forever. Its very hard to lose a loved pet. When the time is right, you will find another fur baby, they won't be the same as the one you lost but you will love them just as much.
After my miscarriages, I got a shih tzu puppy and 6 months later adopted a little shih tzu poodle puppy and they ARE my babies now, I even take them to the office with me. But I still think about the ones lost. Its hard, grieve, cry, make a memorial, whatever you need to do, its ok. Love and hugs
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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I'm so sorry about your cat, Sofia. It's always so very hard to lose a beloved pet. It has happened to me several times.
I do think the ashes will be comforting. We have the ashes of our last dog, Rusty, in a beautiful little chest that I picked out especially for him. It's in our study on the shelf and makes me smile when I look at it as I remember my time with him.
I know it's hard to believe now, but you will feel better in time. When you're ready a new pet will help a lot. We adopted another Golden and it has really helped heal our broken hearts.
Barbie
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I'm very sorry to hear about your pet.
I had "Big Dog", (yes, he was a cat.  ) for 14 years....I picked him out - he even had some eye fungi that was going on and was the runt of the litter, but I chose him anyway!! He was with me through so much...hard times, good times, and we LOVED to nap together - heck, just being with each other period! Then, this past year, I took him for a lump on his back. They removed it, and said it was benign. However, 6 months later, you could just tell he didn't feel well. I took him back, and it was cancer (not out of fault of anything the vet did or didn't do). His whole belly showed up as one mass in the x-ray. I decided with his age and the stage of the cancer, to take him home, spend some time with him, and say goodbye. When I got home, I walked to my creek, and sat and thought. I cried terribly hard and threw rocks in the water, wondering what I would do without my 'Big Dog'. I remembered truly understanding the saying from the Forrest Gump movie, "I guess sometimes there just aren't enough rocks." Soon, the time had come. I was there holding his paw when he went. He was ready to go too. As I sit here, 6 months later, tears still come to my eyes, and I even got to say good bye. That cat was AWESOME, and knew he loved me as much as I loved him. I had him cremated, and his ashes sit by my bed, by a picture of him. I have a picture in the kitchen too, and I still say 'bye' to him when I leave for work. Strange as it seems, I miss him like crazy sometimes. And, as weird as this sounds, we now have a stray cat that LOOKS EXACTLY like Big Dog come around our house for food and love.
Two weeks after Big Dog's death, I went to the animal shelter, and picked out a new kitty. Oddly enough, even though he acts nothing like him, he has some of his characteristics. He will never 'replace' Big Dog or the pain, but has added a lot back in my life.
Some non-animal lovers would tell me to 'get over it', but I'll get over when I'M ready.
I'll be thinking of you!!!
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Wow, after reading all of these posts I am just about bawling. It's always nice to hear other people talk about their pets like I talk about mine. I have 2 cats, one about 6 years old, Connor, and Callie about 2 years old. I got them both from the Humane Society and niether one was wanted by others. Connor had ringworm and was very ill, and I nursed him back to health.
I grew up with outside cats because I lived in the country. So of course being outside cats they died sooner than inside cats. Every time one died I was hysterical. My parents finally wouldn't allow me to have any more pets because I got "too attached". the second I was on my own I adopted Connor and the second I lived by myself and not with a roomate I adopted Callie. i love them like my children and worry like them the same as regular mothers do. They were both really sick last winter and I thought they were ging to die, and I was making myself sick over it. Thank god they got better. I feel everyone's pain on this board who has lost a pet! People who don't care about pets don't get the attachement, but my cats have been there for me when no people have been able to! When I'm sick Connor curls up on my lap, when I'm crying Callie comes over to me and tries to comfort me.
I think time is the only way to get over a loss like that. Some people immediately go out and get new animals, and others need to mourn. My best friend lost her cat last year and chose to get a dog the second time around so that she didn't think about her cat every time she looked at him. Unexpected deaths are always the worst to get over, but time will help, I swear. I hope all of these posts help a little.
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Melinda
IBS-A but leans toward C mostly
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Miranda -- Thank you for sharing your story. Everyone's posts have really moved me and I'm glad there are other people who appreciate and love their pets so much.
I also adopted Sofia from the Humane Society, where they had named her "Taffeta." So I had to save her from that awful name!  You're lucky to have Connor and Callie!
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Thank you, Barbie. It's nice having the ashes, because it sort of makes me feel like she'll be with us wherever we go. I do miss her a lot!
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What a great name for a cat! I'm sorry he was so sick. I can't imagine how hard it would be to see my cat getting sicker and weaker. Hugs to you!
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Thank you, Susie. Reading all these posts has also made me tear up more than once. It's also good to be reminded that there are lots of animals out there that are waiting for a good home. I'll probably adopt another kitten(s) sooner than later.
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Oh, if I had a garden I would have loved to bury my cat there! I love the idea of using a garden stone to remember them by. How are your puppies doing? (I guess they aren't puppies anymore.) I'd love to see some recent pics of them if you have any.
Thanks for your kind words, Michele. Hugs!
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Erilyn -- Thank you for replying. I hope your Tasha lives a long and happy life! Aren't tortoiseshells the best? If I adopt another cat, she'll definitely be a torti. I just find them really well-tempered and sweet. My Sofi "trilled" a lot.
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Thank you, Steph. Pets are definitely special and important to us.
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Thank you Flipada. I realized that I definitely had a routine with my cat and so I still expect her to meow or jump on my lap or follow me around at certain times. Hugs to you too!
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Thank you for your kind words, LittleLani. Everyone's responses have been really great and I do feel a little better.
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Hohoyumyum, thank you! You always know how to say the right thing. I do need to remind myself that it's okay to grieve and that there's no time limit. Thanks, and hugs!
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The puppies are great! Harley turned 2 in November and Oliver will be 2 in April!! They are sleeping under my desk as I type this!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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They are soooooo cute!
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Re: Loss of Pet
#322060 - 01/09/08 02:26 PM
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Erilyn
Reged: 11/14/07
Posts: 743
Loc: Beautiful British Columbia, Canada
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Yes, tortis are the absolute best! They have such wonderful personalities and they love to "talk". Tasha trills at me all the time. We have entire conversations that go back and forth - I make a sound that mimics her trill and as long as I keep it up, she'll keep answering me.
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IBS-A since age 12, and fructose sensitive; with the exception of my pregnancy, have been following Heather's diet since Nov. 19, 2007.
Taking 12g of Acacia per day. Relatively stable since March 2008!
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I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so hard to lose a pet. They are like our children. Just remember the good years you had with your cat. And don't get another pet until you are ready. {{{hugs}}}
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Ditto. They just put a big smile on my face.
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Re: Loss of Pet
#322139 - 01/10/08 01:39 PM
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Sand
Reged: 12/13/04
Posts: 4490
Loc: West Orange, NJ (IBS-D)
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Quote:
I love cats because I enjoy my home and after a while they become its visible soul. - Jean Cocteau
I'm so sorry to hear about Sofia. It's always hard to lose a cat but I do think the first loss is in some ways the hardest just because of the surprise you talk about. It's as if you didn't really realize how very attached you had become.
Take care.
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Another cat? Perhaps. For love there is also a season; its seeds must be resown. But a family cat is not replaceable like a wornout coat or a set of tires. Each new kitten becomes its own cat, and none is repeated. I am four cats old, measuring out my life in friends that have succeeded but not replaced one another. - Irving Townsend
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[Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. - Sandra Boynton]
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