Explaining IBS
#320995 - 12/18/07 06:35 PM
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caputsky
Reged: 03/24/07
Posts: 256
Loc: Baltimore, MD
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Hi all,
So I haven't really done a good job of explaining the fact that I have IBS, except to some close friends and my family. Most of my friends know that I have "stomach issues" and that I can't eat dairy. But I haven't figured out a good but not overly detailed way of explaining what IBS is and how it affects me. Does anyone have any thoughts? Even a few short quotes of what you have said to people you want to know more about what IBS means in a simple, concrete way? I especially need to start being open about this, because I am starting to date a new guy, and he's really nice and seems like he would be supportive and understanding if I told him, but I'm scared to scare him off and want to be as tactful as possible. I am not usually an unarticulate person (I'm a teacher and explaining things verbally is a huge part of the job) but with IBS I get anxious that most people will think I'm weird or gross  . Any advice or suggestions would really really (did I mention really? :P) be appreciated! Thanks!!
Julie
IBS-D, GERD, lactose intolerant
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"We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it."
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"We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it."
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I've said,
"IBS is something that at this point in time has no cure because there isn't anything physically wrong with me, just that my insides are either working when they shouldn't or they're working harder than they should or they're not working at super slow speeds. All of these things are activated in certain ways by what I eat."
I then explain the difference between soluble and insoluble fiber:
"I would need to eat a bunch of soluble foods before consuming insoluble foods. For example, after exercising, one usually goes for a salad or legumes or any kind of food that will make your system work harder to digest because yes, it's good for you. But with IBS, my system is already working hard and if I give it insoluble foods, then my system will work so hard and so fast that it'll have me sitting in the loo all day."
Hope this helps!
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Wendy IBS A thru Z 
Taking it one day at a time...
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Re: Explaining IBS
#321016 - 12/19/07 11:29 AM
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Erilyn
Reged: 11/14/07
Posts: 743
Loc: Beautiful British Columbia, Canada
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I basically just try to explain it as an over-active digestive system, and that certain foods are considered worse triggers than others.
I don't remember how I told my hubby when we first started dating. It was almost 6 years ago - lol - but I do remember not being overly embarrassed about it. The right guy will understand. 
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IBS-A since age 12, and fructose sensitive; with the exception of my pregnancy, have been following Heather's diet since Nov. 19, 2007.
Taking 12g of Acacia per day. Relatively stable since March 2008!
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I have had to explain it so many times in the last month because of the staff xmas party (explaing why I can't eat everythign on the buffet) and because we have new owners of the business.. This is how I say it..
(I have ibs -irritable bowel syndrom. Basicly, stress makes me physically ill, unfortunately it has side effects where certain foods will also make me ill. If I could lead a completly stress free life I wouldn't be ill but it does happen sometiems and when it does, I'm in alot of pain and have to dissapear for awhile.. An attack usually only lasts a couple hours though*
and so far, everyone I work with understands and I wouldn't say that I get special treatment but if I am having an attack, they understand.. I have missed maybe 5 full days in the last 3 years and a few half days or days where I come into work early and it's been ok..
As for telling your bf.. well.. When my husband and I started dating, I was stable, then I went to college and had to deal with the stress of student loans and he saw me at my worst, he even came to the hospital once with me because I had never had an attack that was that painful but he understood..
To this day, if I'm not feeling well, I just get him to turn up the tv so I don't have to feel embarrassed and we are good to go.. (plus it helps that while I don't think he has IBS he makes himself sick alot so it's like he has it)
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Re: Explaining IBS
#321054 - 12/20/07 11:57 AM
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Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
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"I have a painful stomach condition that requires me to take prescribed medicine. But the side effects of the medicine are bad too, so it's easier to watch what I eat."
Sometimes I just want to look them squarely in the eye and tell them poo comes flying out of my butt. OK, don't say that. You can just say that you've had it for a while and when it's managed you don't have any problems. But when it's not it can be very painful. People relate to pain in a way they don't relate to D or C.
Good luck! I used to teach and understand what it's like to be in front of a class praying for no attack right now.
~nelly~
~nelly~
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Thank you all for the tips you gave as suggestions for explaining IBS. For some reason it was hard for me to find the right vocabulary and words to explain what this disorder is. I think I'm going to start small in my explanations -- telling close friends who don't know, and perhaps some of my co-workers (I work with an amazingly understanding group of teachers). I want to stop feeling like I need to hide what is wrong with me. Thanks again!
Julie
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"We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it."
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Most people are not interested in TMI. I keep it really simple... "I have stomach problems and follow a bland diet." If they ask more, I tell them I have IBS, which most people have heard of.
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Laura
DX IBS 12/07
Following IBS Diet with Weight Watchers
Also GERD
Former cast iron stomach
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