OK - leery about posting this, but here it is....
#304018 - 04/04/07 08:20 PM
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For those of you who know me, I have removed my personal information for a reason. So, please address me as A or Yoda. Do not use my real name. I would hate for anyone who knows me where I live to figure this one out.
My husband is leaving me for another woman. He's been having an on-off affair for over a year and a half now. He told me the first 2 times, and then caught him the third time (back in Jan when I posted about a rough time). No matter what I say or do, he is determined to do this. The stupid thing is that ours was a good marriage, mostly happy, though my mental illnesses have put us few a few rough years recently, but I am totally stable now, thank you very much. I suffered over a year of postpartum depression (for months after each child), got diagnosed with OCD and Bipolar all overlapping within a 3 year timespan WHILE looking after babies. He still loves me, yet says he can't live without her (gag me!). It's totally insane and I have talked till I'm blue in the face but it's like talking to a brick wall. The good man I married is GONE. What's left is this evil, lying, manipulating, cheating DEVIL who would rather have a sl!! than me. Not that I have an ego or anything, but I am a good person, I like to believe.
I am doing really well - REALLY. My bipolar has not faltered during all this crap. I am NOT depressed, and have no intention of giving them the satisfaction of getting the better of me. And, yes, I have 2 small children, 3 and 5 years. I'm terrified for them - but I will be there for them no matter what. They can always count on me. So far, things are extremely civil and downright reasonable - my STBX is being very generous about helping me get set financially before the legal stuff comes into play. He has even bought some new appliances so that I don't worry about the old ones crapping out and my having to buy new.
I pray every day. Thanks to Rachel (Poochibelly) and Shan (Willow), I am hanging on to the idea that God has a plan and a path for me, and that all I need do is have faith and put one foot in front of the other. I am already to the point where I no longer hurt every second of the day. I am making changes for me -
Shelley - you'll be so proud! I'M TAKING KARATE!!!!!!! AND, I'm signing up for a "Biggest Loser" challenge at the gym. I've already lost 15 lbs, and have an amazing support network of fam and friends. Most are amazed at how well I am doing.
So, despite all that, I appreciate all the hugs and prayers possible. For all of you who have supported me through all this, my eternal love and thanks. I love you all!
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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I love you girl...and yes, I'M so very proud of you!! Keep it up.... you and your kids should be your only concern.... he has made his bed... may he find bugs in it!!  hehehe Sorry could not help it!! 
Stay strong.... you are an amazing person.... HIS LOSS!!
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www.facebook.com/shell.marr
www.myspace.com/shellmarr
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You seem like a smart, strong woman and I know that you will be able to take care of yourself and your children. I also believe that there is a plan and a reason for everything, though it can be impossible to see at times. I'm sorry you have to go through this. I know what it likes to have someone you love become a different (and very cruel in my case) person. It's not your fault and you don't deserve it. Stay strong.
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***********************
If you're not dead, you've still got time.
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even your husband and the other woman ,that's a hard thing to get around but Jesus said pray for your enemies (I know it sounds strong calling your husband an enemy but he has definitley hurt you and done you wrong) I think the main reason is otherwise it is soooo easy to get caught up in bitterness and unforgiveness when someone hurts you.
you're an inspiration to so many people here, a real blessing
xxx
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It really sounds like you are going into this with the right attitude an doing what is best for you and the kids despite his garbage.
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Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant
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Oh Yoda!! You definately deserve better!! What a statement - can't live without her!!
I hope that God does have a different plan for you and your children. I'm short of advice for something like this, but I'm here if you need me!!
Keep up the good work on the weight loss!! 15lbs!! Way to go!
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Cassandra
Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like you've never loved before.
IBS A 20+ years, Chronic Migraines, Chiari Malformation (decompressed June 22, 2010), Brachial Neuritis, and ??? the list just keeps growing, but I'm still shiny side up!
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Oh, I'm so sorry. I have been in similar shoes. I can tell you though that someday you will look back on this as a blessing in disguise. You may deal with some hard times, some real turmoil but things will even out and you will be fine....better than fine. You will find out how strong you can be; for you and for your kids. You will find out that you are better off without him. And although it is way to early to think about it, another love (a better love) may be around the corner.
I was divorced in 2001 (separated one week after 9/11) and felt like my life was over. I moved in with my parents. My kids were 2 and 5 1/2. I went through a full year of hell and another 2 with real challenges. But they made me so strong. Now, I am well-adjusted (as are my children)with a loving husband of almost 2 years and I thank my lucky stars for him everyday.
I'm not suggesting that another man will make it all better. But you will see, the longer you two are apart, that there were things that weren't right in your marriage. I have faith in you. You're a strong woman. This WILL get better. Just keep that in mind as you hit some hard times. It WILL get better.
Big hugs for you Yoda. BIG hugs.
Lauren
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Flipada - IBS-C "It's a gas, gas, gas"
**Lauren**
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I am so proud of you for staying so strong. You are such a wonderful person and I have been praying for you to get through this horrible time in your life. If you ever want to talk you can e-mail me anytime. Hang in there sweetie! God does have a plan for you!
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I agree, you are being very strong and we are all proud of you. I know this is an awful time but things will get better. Love and hugs
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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I'm so sorry to hear this. It's great you're hanging in there, staying strong, and getting on with your life.
And I'll give you my standard advice: STBX's may be reasonable today but they don't always stay that way. Get a really, really good lawyer.
Take very good care.
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[Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. - Sandra Boynton]
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I pretty much knew, without you even making this post. Good guesser, I suppose. 
Anyway, I'm glad you're hanging in there and doing as well as can be expected. I'm thinking of you guys, always. And I agree with Sand - a good lawyer, pronto.
*hugs*
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Well recommended. I met her once for a consultation and she's amazing.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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Hi- it sounds like you really are on the right track. And I know it must be tough but it will get better over time. I was not married but engaged to someone and was left for another woman. I thought the pain would never go away. But it did and I met my husband and am living happily ever after.
Take care,
Debby
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I hope you didn't change your name because you're ashamed of what's going on and someone you know might find out. There's nothing for you to be ashamed of.
I hope everything works out well for you. Stay strong and ask God to guide you safely through this storm in your life. You'll find that He's a great anchor, and He will also replenish you when you're tired and feel like your at the end of your rope. Trust and believe in Him.
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Yoda,
(((((Hugs)))))
It sounds like you're handling this all pretty well. I'm so sorry that your STBX is making these stupid choices.
I'm also glad that you're holding on to your dignity and self-worth. This is not your fault, and I also believe that God has something special planned for you!
(((((more hugs!)))))
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Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
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OMGosh! I'm so sorry! You do sound though like you are coping pretty well with all of this. My heart goes out to you and your children. I just couldn't imagine this happening to me. But, I, like you would probably get through it. I will send some major prayers your way.....Keep staying strong. Remember, God only gives us as much as we can handle.
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~~~Lisa~~~
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Oh my god, I am SO sorry. You sound so strong, though.
Take care of yourself and your beautiful, precious children.
I'll be thinking of you.
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~jules
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I'm sorry you've had to deal with this for over a year, but you're handling it with strength and self-respect. Like others have said, I'm really proud of you too! Big, BIG hugs!
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Very proud of you,for not letting them get the best of you, for taking care of yourself and the girls, Karate!! good for you!! Take care and keep us posted if you like on your situation, as you know we are here for you and each other. Hoppy Easter! Sue
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Yoda, I don't know you personally, but I've read your posts and you sure have been through a lot. But I can say with certainty you do seem STRONG now. I totally believe you will triumph over this. Shame on your husband.
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Yoda, I don't have anything to say that hasn't already been said - but want to wish you strength and patience to find your way through this. You've helped a lot of people on these boards, including me, and it sounds like you're doing all the right things to help yourself and your kids now. Hang in there.
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Ladies & gentlemen take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice.
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Yoda,
I am so sorry that this has happened to you. I don't know what else to say. (What possesses men to do this????) You are such a sweetheart, and I pray that God gives you the strength to get through this difficult time. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there! We are all here for you. Please lean on us for support. And hugs and kisses to your 2 little ones.
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I appreciate each and every one of you for your support. i'm still doing OK. He's shacked up with the sl!t during the week for the last 2 weeks, and it's time to tell the kids. I cannot allow him back in this house when he's with her during the week - that's just unfair to me. We're going to have to tell the kids. Please, thoughts and prayers for my precious babies. I hope that they come through this OK.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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Children are very resilient, and having come from a broken home, I know that as along as your are steady for your children, they'll come through this alright. Not to say there won't be rough times. But you have the strength to be their rock, and it be alright in the end.
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***********************
If you're not dead, you've still got time.
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I can't believe he's putting you through this, you deserve so much better.  Men can be real jerks... 
Good luck with telling the kids, you have my thoughts & hugs.
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http://ibsblondie13.blogspot.com/
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Yoda,
I am so sorry to read about your breakup. Men can be such jerks sometimes. I always feel amazed whenever I hear of a husband/father walking away from his precious family. You deserve much better!
My parents divorced when I was 10. It was hard at first but I learned to deal with it and I grew up just fine.
You are a wonderful, loving and supportive Mom and your kids are lucky to have you. Just love them and be there for them and they will get through this.
Hugs,
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Janey
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