Best friend loses baby full term
#291077 - 11/24/06 02:47 AM
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craftymeg
Reged: 07/07/06
Posts: 64
Loc: Newfoundland, Canada
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I am looking for some advice on how best to support my friend through a horrible time. After a very healthy pregnancy and no complications whatsoever, during delivery a couple of days past her due date her baby girl suddenly died. My heart is breaking for her and I can't be home with her as I am going to school a few hours away and all I want to do is help. And I have always gotten great advice from everyone on the board. Ever since I found out yesterday what happened I can't stop thinking about her and her husband and family as well as the little girl that they already have who is almost three.I won't get to see her now for a couple of weeks until exams are over.
Thanks for listening,
Megan
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My heart goes out to all of you. One of my closest friends lost a litle girl this year as well and it was one of the hardest things i ever had to face with. Her and her husband are good people as well. The best thing i can say is just to be there when she needs to talk thats what i tired to do. May god bless you all while you go through this life can be so unfair sometimes. Take care Sheila
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If it would me, I would probably let her know that I am there for her to talk, support and listen to her - I would encourge her, and her husbnad, to seek counselling with a trained person to help her through the loss of her beautiful child. God Bless! Debbie IBS-A
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The most important thing is to say or do SOMETHING. So often we are uncomfortable and don't know how to approach these situations.
Tell her you are there for her and offer to listen when she needs a shoulder to lean on.
I'm sorry, that's so sad.
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It's never too late to be what you might have been.
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Sorry I'm late in responding, I was off-line. I have lost 5 babies and its the most difficult thing to deal with. Just be there for her. DON'T say things like, you can always have another one or it was Gods will or at least you have another child. DO say things like I know how much she met to you. Do let her know you are there for her. If you don't know what to say, just tell her, I'm sorry, I really don't know what to say but I'm here for you. Don't pretend it didn't happen. Let her talk, let her cry and remember to be there for her in the months to come. This isn't something you get over quickly. My heart breaks for your friend.
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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a friend lost a baby at 2 weeks pre due date... the best thing you can do is a) encourage counseling if they aren't doing that on their own and b) be there for them.. let them know you feel for them and are there if they need anything...
When it happened to my friend she asked me to still give her the blankie I had been working on, actually to finish it in a hurry- they buried grace in it... but had I not been there to hear what they needed and wanted to express I never would have known...
Amie
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Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant
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Michele, I am so sorry to hear you have lost five babies. I can't imagine how difficult that must be. I've had a hard time this past weekend because I couldn't be at home and felt very isolated because no one around me knew my friend and didn't seem to understand how much it hurts me to know how much pain she is in right now. I went through the pregnancy with her and shared her wishes for the baby and picking out names, and even went to a couple of appointments with her because her husband works out of town and is only home two weeks out of every month. It's especially hard when I am not able to see her right now. I have actually knitted a blanket in preparation for the baby with a matching pair of booties to go with it. Being away at school I never found out anything happened until after the memorial service. Although I wish very much I could have been there. Do you think she might still want the gift? Thank you guys for your help.
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Yes, I think she would. Maybe put it in a nice box she can store it with. Maybe see if you can find a nice poem or some words of comfort for her to put in the box as well. This is a very difficult time and she is lucky to have a friend like you. Hugs and love.
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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I can't imagine losing a baby...let alone one that is full term. I feel so badly for the family. Michele had some good advice on what to say. I think it's important that you listen and just her know you are there for her.
Hugs
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IBS-C with pain and bloat
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I think just knowing you are there for them is the most important thing you are can do for anyone enduring such a loss. Reinterate that you don't know how they are feeling and can't imagine, but that you are there for them in whatever way they need.
Also, take some special time one day to just hang out with her. Although you have exams - just making a little time in your hectic schedule will mean the world to her and make her realize that you really do want to help her 
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Lana_Marie
Proud Mommy to Bentley Taylor
Born May 12, 2004 9lbs, 3oz
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