How "IBS understanding" is your spouse?
#287488 - 10/22/06 05:34 PM
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Brendarific
Reged: 03/14/04
Posts: 163
Loc: The Northwest 'Burbs Of Chicago, IL
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At this moment, I'm about to burst, not from IBS but from my spouse and his non-acceptance of me feeling awful! I'm asleep on the couch, feeling like death and he barges in the door and asks what's for dinner! Ack! You gotta be kidding, I don't even want to look at food!
And then, later this evening, as I'm feeling a little better than death, he asks me to help him carry some plywood into the garage. I'm really not that strong, and 4x8 sheets of plywood - mosting 1/2 and 3/4 inch thick - are NOT LIGHT! Then he gets frustrated with me because I can't lift up my end, not to mention trying to maneuver around all the CRAP he has strewn about in the garage. And to top it off, we had to carry some of it upstairs in the garage, around a corner and up the stairs. Gimme a break, I get winded just going up the stairs, not to mention carrying plywood! Ack again!
Whew, guess I just needed to vent. Sometimes he can be Mr. Almost Perfect and then there's today!
How understanding are your significant others? Is everyone else as weak and scrawny as me? Ugh, of all the years I wished to be thin. I'd rather have some meat on me and feel better!
Thanks for allowing me to vent. That really helps.
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It's never too late to be what you might have been.
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My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years, and I have to say, he's BEYOND understanding about my IBS. When I was at my sickest, he waited on me hand and foot for months! Now that I'm stable, he's still very understanding if I'm having a bad day. Then again, it probably does help that I've never been one to wallow - if I can't get out of bed, he knows there's something REALLY wrong, because I'm a big, rugged, tough woman and it takes a lot to derail me.
But take heart - he may be perfect when it comes to understanding IBS, but nobody's actually perfect. He manages to annoy me in other respects sometimes. LOL!
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my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years has been amazingly understanding most of my really bad year thrown in with a few outbursts of his frustration which made me cry, then we apologized and went back to normal. All of his outdursts of not being understanding though were related to the sme types of things, me trying too many new things at once and feeliong sick and him saying i should stop trying so much natural junk at one time and making myself worse, me not making an effort to just deal with it on some days and me being overly neurotic about my fear of throwing up and food in general and it making me feel bad (i spent a good 6 months eating only rice and steamed vegetables) the funny part is that in the end now that i am back on my AD's i see how right he was and feel bad that i let myself get that bad before finally going back to meds. All in all he has been more understanding than i could have ever hoped for and even my parents sent him a thank you email for putting up with me while i went a little bit haywire. Like atomic rose said, he isn't perfect, but we are so great together and have so much fun together most of the time that i wouldn't trade him in for the world, just remind your husband how difficult it is for you sometimes, but also do as you did and judt get up and try sometimes since wallowing makes things worse.
Hope any of that helps.
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My wife of 25 years is very understading. It does help that I have never let ibs rule my life for very long, and have always tried to maintain a normal existence, but all in all she has been very supportive of me throughout these years. She has even decided that what I eat is good food, although on occasion I will cook her up some red meat.
And ... she is perfect.
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 Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow”. Mary Anne Radmacher
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And I'm a very lucky woman. My husband is very supportive. He's adapted to my diet, is understanding when I'm having a bad day, and plans fun stuff to do when I'm feeling good - which, IBS-wise, is most of the time now.
In fact, except for his tendency to leave kitchen cabinet doors open, I'd say he's pretty much perfect, too.
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[Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. - Sandra Boynton]
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My husband is completely incapable of closing drawers - bedroom, kitchen, you name it. What's with that?
Laura
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I think all guys have their moments, and we probably do too! Admitting that is the hardest part!
I am lucky as well in that my husband is completely understanding. I do think that the fact that he has colitis helps a little, but I give him credit for dealing with my IBS. When you're feeling better, hit him up for some help when he's down or in the middle of the big game. Maybe that will show him how you felt!
Good luck and feel better!
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***********************
IBS-A, with bloating and gas as my predominant symptoms
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I am over being ticked at him for his inability to understand that I can't lift plywood! I should count my blessings in other ways, because like I said, he is Mr. "Almost" Perfect. Except for leaving dirty socks in the middle of the living room.... but that's another subject!
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It's never too late to be what you might have been.
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Hi,
I was first diagnosed in July/03 with ulcerative colitis when I began dating my fiance. His Grandma and Aunt have chrohn's so he had some idea of what was involved with this disease. He has been supportive for the most part although is frustrated with it at times.
Jenn
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"Well if I close it I'm just going to have to open it again later." 
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[Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. - Sandra Boynton]
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hilarious.
#287592 - 10/23/06 02:28 PM
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Flipada
Reged: 03/02/06
Posts: 1026
Loc: West Michigan, USA
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mine is "almost perfect" too other than the annoying clicking noises he makes when he eats...and nearly gagging himself when brushing teeth! What's with that, anyway??
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Flipada - IBS-C "It's a gas, gas, gas"
**Lauren**
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Re: hilarious.
#287598 - 10/23/06 03:00 PM
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Snorkie
Reged: 02/15/05
Posts: 1999
Loc: Northern Illinois, USA
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I just wonder how we all mangaged to find "almost perfect" spouses! :smirk
My husband is very understanding of my IBS. Very.
It's also a good thing he likes rice, because we ate a lot of it last year especially!
Oh, and from looking over my shoulder, he's convinced that only good-looking people get IBS! He's a keeper. 
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So funny. I'll have to ask my husband if that's his reason too!
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My husband is wonderfully understanding and supportive. He doesn't complain at all about the changes I've had to make to feel better (low-fat cooking, no red meat, money spent on supplements, etc.). In fact, he's generally very encouraging about it all.
Sometimes he does get a little frustrated, but I think it's mostly because he doesn't like to see me suffering, not because he dislikes the things I have to do to take care of myself.
He's another "almost-perfect". 
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-Carol
IBS-A
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... every time I'm in the middle of putting away dishes or groceries or whatever, I turn around with another armful and the cupboard's closed!! When he sees an open cupboard or drawer he shuts it. This drives me crazy because I NEVER leave anything open unless I'm doing something with it right then. You'd think after five years of living together he'd figure that out.
Ah well. We all have our irritating little quirks.
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jen
"It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off." -- LC
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Yep, gagging as he brushes his teeth and having a toothbrush looking like a toilet brush! Too funny...
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Amy
IBS-A
Stable and thankful!
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Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow”. Mary Anne Radmacher
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My DH is wonderful, most of the time. He gets frustrated when I am having frequent attacks - I think mostly because he is helpless to help me, other than consoling me. He asks through the bathroom door if I'm still alive. He runs out for Gatorade when I'm super dehydrated. He even finds me non-dairy ice-cream when we're shopping. Mostly he gets upset when I can't do my normal stuff - housework, cooking, and going out. But he is great 90% of the time. I really lucked out. He understands why I can't do everything and he doesn't pass judgement because of that. (although he slams the back door on occasion!) I love him, he is my soul mate.
Cassandra
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Cassandra
Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like you've never loved before.
IBS A 20+ years, Chronic Migraines, Chiari Malformation (decompressed June 22, 2010), Brachial Neuritis, and ??? the list just keeps growing, but I'm still shiny side up!
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Ny husband is wonderful I have told him that god couln't of put a better person in my life to understand this! He will eat anything I cook and go on about how good it is. He trys really hard to find me stuff i can eat and doesn't care what it cost. He understands more than any one does my mother on the other hand I think she think some of its in my head (I WISH). When i'm sick hes wonderful! I thank god for him everyday! ~Sheila
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