Having a bit of a meltdown. Am I mental???
#280875 - 09/05/06 08:57 AM
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michele
Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan
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Well, the weekend was awful. All I did was move from bed to couch and back again. I lost 4 pounds in three days. I can't eat, even plain rice feels like razor blades and I'm hardly able to drink.
I've been complaining to the doctors about this pain I've been having up high, like just under my boobs and a tad to the right. They keep saying its reflux and not to worry. Well, its to the critical mass state and hurts like hell. I also have terrible, sharp pains real low and to the right, like just above my pubic hair line. My tummy looks about 6 months pregnant. I'm weak, dizzy, nauseous and in pain.
I saw the crohns guy this am and what a waste of time. He poked and prodded until I was crying and said he doesn't think its a perforation or anything serious. He set up an appt for next Wednesday for a consult on an upper endoscopy. I told him if they can't find anything definite wrong with me than its got to be in my head and to please admitt me to the psych ward because I can't take anymore and even though I was sobbing when I said it, I don't think he took me serious. I WAS serious.
I am sitting at my desk, hunch over in pain, trying not to have a complete meltdown in public. I have an appt to see my internist at 1pm, than I have to come back to work for the rest of the afternoon. I hope she has some better answers.
I swear, I'm the sickest healthy person in the world. I've been to more specialist than I can count and have some vague diagnoses but no one can tell me whats wrong. Can depression cause this amount of PHYSICAL pain?
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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It has been proven that mental depression CAN in fact cause physical pain. It's relatively a new phenomena which isn't often talked about because most people don't take it seriously. I'm not saying that you're making it up, either. The pain is VERY real. It can be caused by depression or as a symptom of some other problem. So, no, you're not nuts.
Chin up my love,
A.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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Michele,
No I don't think you are mental. I think there is something definitely wrong and they have not been able to pinpoint it yet. I was watching a show called Mystery Diagnosis last Saturday. It's about people who have a lot of trouble being diagnosed. Most end up thinking it is all in their heads or must be because the doctors have no answers. This particular show was about a woman with Bechet's disease. It took her about 17 years to be diagnosed. I am telling you about it because some of the problems she had were the same as ones you have talked about including uveitits and iritis as well as a long list of ohter symptoms. It's probably a longshot, but I knew I had to let you know about it just in case you had not looked into this one yet. I hope your appointment yields some answers.
Laura
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If you're mental I'm mental too. I'd be glad to visit you in the psych ward. Maybe we can get a double room. 
I'm having a hard time starting and stopping meds. I fired one of my doctors a couple of weeks ago and with that went cold turkey off of no fewer than 3 meds. The physical pain from the meds and my symptoms coming back all at once was so bad, I quit my 9-5 job.  I know where you are right now, and it's not a nice place to be.
I think you should take some time off from your job and check yourself into the hospital until they can figure out what's wrong (or you feel better enough to check yourself out). I did this when I was 19 and spent some time in the hospital until I was strong enough to be on my own. This was before I had my IBS diagnosis-- I was severly underweight, having seizures and my hair was coming out big time. Even so, I had to MAKE them check me in. I know it can be done.
At least with the constant care I was #1 taken seriously and #2 had some peace of mind that a doctor was reviewing my case daily. As soon as doctors started working on me full time, I had peace of mind. There's nothing so empty as feeling as you're not being taken seriously. I know you know what I mean.
That being said, I know you are probably not in a position to leave work. But it might be an investment in the Rest of Your Life. Please weigh the consequences (misery, depression, feelings of worthlessness). I wouldn't wish this feeling on my worst enemy. {{{{{BIG HUGS}}}}}}
~nelly~
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Quote:
Can depression cause this amount of PHYSICAL pain?
No!! 
OK, so I know that depression can have physical symptoms ... but how can depression cause you to produce that much inflammation in your body? Or joint damage? I just don't think it's possible. Being sick is exhausting and soul-destroying and can definitely make you depressed -- but I don't think being depressed can make anyone as sick as you are.
I'm so sorry how awful you're feeling -- I was hoping the Humira would help longer. Is it possible that the Humira is aggravating your reflux? I've had really awful reflux that was incredibly painful and made me vomit, so it's still possible that it's reflux.
The pain you're having down low sounds like it could be an ovary. Maybe you have a cyst that ruptured?
I'm so sorry you feel so awful, Michele. I hope your internist can help.
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jen
"It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off." -- LC
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I really wish I could say something magical to cheer you up, but I just don't know what that would be. And I'm usually good with words...
I wish I could just give you a big hug. Don't know what else to do. A cyber hug isn't really the same but since I don't have "Mr Tickle arms" that's the best I can do right now. 
You are always in my prayers!
Big hugs,
Ulrika, IBS-D
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I'm so sorry you are so sick, Michele. I wish there was something I could do for you. Here's some hugs {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}
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I'm sorry you're so sick. That's terrible that you're in so much pain.
BIG HUGS, know that we're all on your side, I hope your docs can come to a conclusion for you.
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It's never too late to be what you might have been.
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Can I join you? Pain is a symptom. There's a CAUSE for it. Plain and simple. Stick to your guns. There has got to be a reason for all this honey!
XOXO
A.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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Only crazy people invited. 
~nelly~
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