Jason broke up with me last night for good....
#278063 - 08/12/06 01:54 AM
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_Willow
Reged: 04/06/05
Posts: 2090
Loc: Canada.
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We met up. Sigh. We missed each other...he was scared. I text messaged, but he called...he's exactly what he said he was...scared, but mad about me. Wants to make sure I'm in his heart because I should be, not just because I'm there. What guy is like that? He's so not the typical guy I'd date.
So, here goes round two. I'm telling ya, after all the time I've spent with the ex this week without wanting to strangle him, this is not a rebound....at least it's not your typical rebound.
no expectations but high hopes. 
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Keep on keepin' on...
Edited by Coookie (08/14/06 12:01 PM)
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Fingers crossed all works out for you this time x x
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And there's nothing like a good phone call to some one you care about.
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 Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow”. Mary Anne Radmacher
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*fingers crossed* 
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Quote:
no expectations but high hopes
I like this...a good way to look at things.
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If you're not dead, you've still got time.
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and I just selectively deleted the whole "I haven't slept in ten days and have written a book about you" LOL....but I said I've lost ten pounds (thirty this summer!! WAHOO) and have had a lot of time to think about where I fit into my life...he was a very captive audience...and then He held my hand, and HE kissed me...
and let me tell ya, iw as so vulnerable last night that he could have taken full advantage of me, but once again, he didn't.
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Keep on keepin' on...
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I haven't been around the boards lately because life has been so busy. However, I've been following your story (with Trevor & Jason). You are one tough cookie!
I knew that if you let Jason come back to you rather than you going after him, it would work out the way that you want it to. I have my fingers crossed. Good luck!
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IBS-A, with bloating and gas as my predominant symptoms
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Snowy...
#278178 - 08/13/06 01:15 PM
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_Willow
Reged: 04/06/05
Posts: 2090
Loc: Canada.
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Actually, the funny thing is, that Trevor did me such a huge favour by turning my world upside down. i've lost 30 pounds, gone through therapy, sorted out my finances and cut excess in a lot of areas, and I ahve greater faith in God and greater confidence in myself for all of this.
I truly believe I'm a tough cookie with a soft heart and that I work hard for what I get and deserve happiness.
Now that being said, I did contact Jason, and did ask to meet up...but it's all in his hands now, and he knows how I feel. Now I sit back, and now I have a lot more patience with the situation than I did before. Not knowing is just torture, but at least now I'm certain he cares about me. 
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Keep on keepin' on...
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You're right, not knowing is torture. Either way, I think you played your cards right.
I've always been a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. There is a reason that you married Trevor, Kayleigh and to get your life in order. I also truly believe that good things happen to good people.
BTW- my name is Shannon too!!
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IBS-A, with bloating and gas as my predominant symptoms
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Did you know we mean "small and wise?" I am 5'2-5'3 and a smartass. LOL!
Yuo are absolutely right though, i did marry Trevor because Kayleigh was just meant to be, and meant to be mine. It's still really irritating that Trevor's dating a Kali though.
At least she's not a Shannon. I'd be changing my name, LOL.
If it wasn't for Trevor though, I'd never have graduated university, stopped partying, gotten out of my mothers house, realized I was lonely and had some thinking to do, gotten myself into therapy, overcome this weight and compulsive eating thing, become a bigtime Christian again, and FOUND JASON.
So...there's a lot to be said. Oh, nor would I be living here. Nor would I have ever figured out that good enough isn't good enough for me. Fantastic is good enough. 
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Keep on keepin' on...
Edited by Coookie (08/13/06 04:01 PM)
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We talked tonight. he came up with his definitive answer for me, and it was a no. I'm not as upset as I thought I'd be...it turns out that I know I'm not ready, he knows I'm not ready, and it was a total physical attraction that would have been toxic for us. I want us to stay friends,as does he because I think we'd make good friends....I think partly because he was on my level of quality human for the first time ever, that's what drew me to him so much. He is my equal, and I realize now that I've dated people who did not have as much to offer the world as I do.
And being in limbo and not knowing where I stand with someone is the most torturous thing I can imagine. Don't ask me why but it's agony for me. i'm far more at peace with his decision now because we can go on with our lives. you know, rather than living in suspended animation emotionally.
And if friends leads us to someday becoming more than that, then it's a great basis by which to move forth. If friends we remain, I'm happy with that. And if friends totally doesn't work out for us, that's okay too.
I see now that becoming friends with someone and getting to know their spirit is far more appealing to me than it ever was before.
So closes the saga. Tune in next time for a new story...the new or Improved Cookie. Time to focus on me, Kayleigh, school and getting mi $hit together, eh?
Ah but he was a beautiful distraction.
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Keep on keepin' on...
Edited by Coookie (08/14/06 11:12 AM)
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Well, I'm 5'8" so not real small but I would consider myself wise!!  I've also been told a time or two that I'm a smartass and I know that my husband would agree.
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IBS-A, with bloating and gas as my predominant symptoms
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I'm glad you're more at peace, even though it didn't work out the way that you had hoped. I have a feeling that something even better will come along when you least expect it. That's what happened to me with my husband. Many rough years have led to many awesome ones.
Keep us posted!
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IBS-A, with bloating and gas as my predominant symptoms
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ha ha...
#278268 - 08/14/06 11:11 AM
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_Willow
Reged: 04/06/05
Posts: 2090
Loc: Canada.
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I'm not small but I am short. I like to think I'm wise, too!
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Keep on keepin' on...
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You will be small if you keep loosing weight at the rate that you have this summer.
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***********************
IBS-A, with bloating and gas as my predominant symptoms
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Quote:
Many rough years have led to many awesome ones
You got that right. A long time can pass before you find out why something seemingly bad happened. And then you get some wonderful answer to "Why did this happen to me?" And it's worth everything you went through.
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If you're not dead, you've still got time.
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it's because I've had no freaking appetite. Well, I'm also on the bandwagon and eating healthier and getting exercise of some sort every day.
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