Oh my God.
#276679 - 08/01/06 10:11 PM
|
|
|
_Willow
Reged: 04/06/05
Posts: 2090
Loc: Canada.
|
|
|
Well,wouldn't you know, that when I finally meet a guy who's open, honest and sensitive, that he's got crap to wrap up in his life and though he's crazy about me, he's not ready to date yet.
He wants to take a break, he might be back, he might not.I told him I'd give him some time . He is definitely not going to date anyone else, but he's not wanting to be with ANYONE right now, even though he says we have this incredible connection.
That's right, it was too good and he's been scared. i thought this junk wasn't supposed to happen to mature people who've been through this junk.
I guess I'm not ready either. This dating/marriage thing SUCKS! When is the hurt going to stop???
-------------------- Keep on keepin' on...
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
Ouch. {{{{{Hugs!}}}}}
I know you had a lot invested into this relationship emotionally, so this is going to sting for a while. Just leave things on good, healthy terms so that the door is open if/when both of you are ready.
More {{{{{hugs!}}}}} I don't really know what else to say.
-------------------- Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Re: Oh my God.
#276686 - 08/01/06 11:55 PM
|
|
|
Double J
Reged: 03/09/06
Posts: 900
Loc: High Rocky Mountains ibs-d
|
|
|
My heart breaks for you ... I wish that there was something that I could really do to help and make things beter. We remember you two in our prayers.
-------------------- Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow”. Mary Anne Radmacher
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
Sweetie, if it's meant to be, he'll be back. He'd be a fool not to. It might even be good he's cleaning up alone, the less for you to have to go through. Focus on YOU for now.!!!!! Hugs, A.
-------------------- Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Re: Oh my God.
#276704 - 08/02/06 07:13 AM
|
|
|
michele
Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan
|
|
|
I agree, if its ment to be, he will be back. I know that doesn't take the hurt away right now but use this time to concentrate on you and your daughter. Use this time to heal and get strong and thigs will work themselves out later. Big hugs
-------------------- Taking it one day at a time.....
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
I agree with Alicia, although it sucks MAJORLY.. at the same time, the future of your relationship would probably be 100 times better if you both work out your demons seperately before trying to make a life together. Thats less baggage that both of you have to deal with.
I'm sure it still feels crappy though.. keep you chin up.. maybe he'll be back!
--------------------
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
Im Sorry, that really bites!! On the other hand he sounds like a good person and atleast you will have someone to confide in since you are both going thru the same situation.I hope things work out.HUGS!
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
I ditto everything. Hopefully the time appart will help you heal from your past relationship and then your new guy will come back and the connection will be even stronger. sending you massive hugs. Jo x
-------------------- http://www.myspace.com/jo_elsmere
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Arghhhh
#276743 - 08/02/06 11:55 AM
|
|
|
Flipada
Reged: 03/02/06
Posts: 1026
Loc: West Michigan, USA
|
|
|
I'm sorry, Cookie! I'm sure it's all happening for some reason but that stinks. What was he thinking when he logged all those hours with you? That you'd just be buddies? Sorry...it all sounds rather lame to me. But who ever knows what a man is thinking?
So, my advice to you? Let him go. If he wants to come back, it won't be from you calling him when he said he wanted a break. I hope this works out for you but just remember, if it doesn't, that means there's someone else BETTER on the horizon.
Big hugs.
-------------------- Flipada - IBS-C "It's a gas, gas, gas"
**Lauren**
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
I'm copying what I wrote elsewhere...cause I don't want to re-write it all..but here goes....
And another chapter of the saga...
Now, he's broken up with me. He's getting serious about me and that scares him. That's why I felt that feeling in my gut. i knew it. I KNEW IT!
dammit.
So I get a call last night, and it's Jason, he says he really likes me, is crazy about me, but isn't sure if he's ready for a relationship right now. Needs to take some time to be ALONE. Not date, but be ALONE. He might come back when he's ready.
He's been split for 1.5 years and isn't 100% over everything. No kidding...it was a six year marriage, an eight year relationship. He's NOT going back to her at ALL, but realizes there's some stuff he's still apprehensive about.
Basically, he likes me so much he can't be with me. What a stinking soap opera. It's the most mature and heartbreaking thing anyone's ever done to me! It's like stopping the rollercoaster at the very top. It was just getting really good.
So I told him we both needed time to sort things out, and yes, I'd give him time, and he said he knows I have unfinished business, anger etc. toward Trev.
This is TWO DAYS AFTER I give in and introduce him to Kayleigh. It took some serious thinking and guts, but we said, over and over, that we had some great long term potential. Even last night, we said that. He'd had me meet his daughter several times, plus his soccer team AND his roommate, so I guess I thought it was OK...
Stupid trusting, and loving me. I could KICK myself for that. I told him i was SOOO angry about that, because she's the heart of my heart and more dear to me than anything. How dare he?
I know that I was NOT ready for a date that soon after Trevor and I split either, and almost fainted right before the date. But then when I started getting to know him, I saw how VERY much more stable and good for me he would be, so because we're both soooo sensitive and open, we did let our emotions get carried away. Thankfully, not our BODIES!
We were almost to the point of "I love you" too, and I'm so glad I guarded myself from that. I did tell him that if we did get back together, it would likely BE love so he'd better be prepared for that should he choose to return.
I get that if it's meant to be, he will come back, and if not, then luckily it was only a month. I will give him some time and space, and NOT call, though that's gruelling... but I said I don't know how long...he jokingly said Five years? Ten years? I said not likely!
But,if all else fails and we do not get back together, I learned a lot from Jason. He taught me that I know just what I'm looking for in a long term-partner. He has it ALL,except the commitment part!!! If we still have healing to do from our marriages, though, then we'd better do that. If we're together in the future, then good.It'll be an amazing thing. If not, as the adage goes, it was never meant to be.There IS a wonderful love out there for me, and thankfully, I have God's love (and finally some self love) to pull me through this mire.
He also taught me that I CAN put up boundaries and keep to them, and not be devastated and tossed aside. That was a big one for me.
Now, speaking about my marriage, er divorce...
I know for a fact I'm not getting back together with Trevor ever, because I see very clearly now how toxic he is for me. I have grown beyond the need or desire to be with him. We make such good friends, anyhow. We sat and tlaked for two hours like old friends yesterday, and I had no desire to so much as kiss him.
And by the way, I have a lawyer and stuff is nderway... I'll be retaining her snd starting the tough legal stuff in 2 weeks.
By the way, trevor informed me TODAY that his little girlfriend is moving in tomorrow. he apologized for the crappy timing. Ai yi Yi! Anything else this world wants to throw at me this summer? C'mon! Put em up!!
-------------------- Keep on keepin' on...
Edited by Coookie (08/02/06 12:59 PM)
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|