This is the only place i can vent, where someone will understand.
#276361 - 07/30/06 07:52 PM
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countrygirl
Reged: 04/29/04
Posts: 213
Loc: Wisconsin, USA
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My BIL's wedding was this weekend, i had a house full of my dh's family and it was insanely hot/humid outside this whole weekend! My dh's family intimidates me anyway,but add heat/humidty,stress and anxiety.It was a bad weekend for me. The tavern that wedding was held at had no air conditioning and i had already had a sinus headache to begin with.I toughed it out, the whole ceremony lasted less than 5 minutes(seriously).What upset me the most was seeing the little girl they chose over my daughter as the flower girl(because i was told by the bride that formal gowns were already ordered), the little girl was wearing a dress that looked like an everyday sundress you can purchase at Goodwill or a Thrift store, the color of it didn't even match the bridesmaids formal gowns.
So i keep my feelings in check, trying to be the bigger person and go to congratulate the bride/groom, and was completely ignored.Talk about humiliating, i don't know what the bride told her friends/family about me but i was given dirty looks thru the whole evening by them and not one of them would talk to me.The heat/humidity and overwhelming feeling of unwelcomeness had me on the verge of tears.I went to my car after the ceremony to sit in the a/c to cool off and get my emotions in check, then my dh stormed over to the car to start yelling at me that if i was going to be a B**** i could just leave and he would catch a ride with someone else. When i tried to explain i was just cooling off and how i was being treated he just snapped and said "well, what the F*** am i supposed to do about it?". Well, that did it, to avoid crying infront of everyone i just left. SOBBED my eyes out all the way home, with all that happened i ended up with a nice IBS flare up. Dh's mother and sisters are "annoyed" with me because they don't understand IBS at all, and are " tired of her being sick all the time" their exact words!
If i ever wanted to run away and never come back, Saturday night was the time. It was just not a good weekend at all, and my inlaws make me feel like i'm some kind of antisocial freak who never wants to leave the house.
How does anyone handle this kind of stress without flare-ups??? I'm just an emotional wreck this weekend!
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aww that sucks!! I don't have any advice for you but your sister in law and her family are out of line.
I hope things are going better with you and your hubby now.
what jerks!! 
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Yikes. That sounds like a complete nightmare. {{{{{hugs!}}}}}
You know, in the future, I would just suggest that you put on a big, phoney smile with those people and just be polite. Every time you respond to their rudeness, you just give them more fodder to talk about you and how difficult or whatever they think you are. It sucks that it has to be that way, but they're insensitive jerks.
I'm sorry! More {{{{{hugs!}}}}}
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Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
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((((((((hugs))))))))))) poor you!! that is absolutely awful grrrrr everything about the situation is just maddening I'm so sorry for you.
I don't know what else I can say really but we're all here if you want to let off steam in a place you can be sure no-one will shout at you or judge you
hope you're feeling better today and just remember the family are just ignorant and they don't know what they're talking about so just ignore that stupid behaviour! grrrr
take care and Godbless
Vicky
xxxxxxxxx
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Man, that's a nightmare. There is NO excuse for their behaviour. Ignoring you? Dirty looks? The worst I think is your husband's behaviour. That's completely inexcusable. He should have stood by you. You have done NOTHING wrong here. Hell, you accommodated tons of his family this weekend even! I would have a heart to heart with your husband and tell him awful he made you feel and how you felt his comments were so hurtful. Yikes!!! He should have stood up for you!!!!!!!!!! When you explain it to him, always start with "I". Don't say "you." Like "I felt hurt that you didn't support me and that you swore at me." etc.
Good luck, honey.
Stay on the higher ground. Don't sling mud with these terds.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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Oh sweetie, what a complete disaster. It sounds horrible. I'd be upset too. I agree, you should talk to your hubby about his actions, that was inexcusable! Big hugs
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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I understand!
#276404 - 07/31/06 08:27 AM
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Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
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You poor thing. You didn't deserve that. That sounds like an unbelievably bad time all around. How awful for you.
I hate it when a venue doesn't have air conditioning.  Doesn't help that the company there was sour too. Kudos to you for keeping it together in public.
I think you should hold a mock wedding so your daughter can dress up and throw flower petals. You don't need them, right!! 
~nelly~
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aw darling poor u. I think you definately need to talk to ur hubby, try and explain ur side of the story - now he has had time to calm down. wish there was something i could do. don`t let them upset ur tum by getting worked up about them. they are obviously not great if they don`t try and understand. thinking about you and sending you massive hugs.
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http://www.myspace.com/jo_elsmere
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((((HUGS))))))))
#276433 - 07/31/06 11:39 AM
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Toady
Reged: 04/06/06
Posts: 1299
Loc: A small city, Northwestern Ontario, Canada
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I'm just going to post hugs to everyone today!! I'm sorry you had such a terrible time at the wedding. I am surprised you went to this wedding at all, really. I hope your tum settles!! I know there is no way to manage my tum and stress without it getting upset.
(((((((((HUGS))))))))))))
Cassandra
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Cassandra
Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like you've never loved before.
IBS A 20+ years, Chronic Migraines, Chiari Malformation (decompressed June 22, 2010), Brachial Neuritis, and ??? the list just keeps growing, but I'm still shiny side up! 
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Awww, you poor thing! I am so sorry all that happened to you! I know I could never handle that amount of emotional stress without having some sort of flare-up.
I realy don't know what to say except that your in-laws were completely rude, tacky and out of line. Don't give what they said about being "sick all the time" a second thought. It sounds like they have something stuck up their a**es and they'll find any reason to bad mouth you. And DH was a complete jerk for talking to you like that! I wouldn't stand for that at all.
Hope you feel better soon darling! So sorry again. No one deserves to be treated like that, especially after you were so gracious and accomodating. There's a saying "The best revenge is a good life" and I think that if you continue to be as good and as caring a girl as you seem to be, you'll show them, the sourpusses!
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Oh my goodness, that is AWFUL! I cannot believe how snide, callous and self crentred people can be.
Sweetie, yu deserve far better than this. Even if, and I doubt you did, you caused a havoc that made the bride decide against your daughter, there is NO reason they sould treat you like anything but a welcome guest at the wedding. Sheesh.
PS- I've heard of this happening before.
hang in there.
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Keep on keepin' on...
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My dh did finally apologize and after a long talk i explained some things his sister's said that hurt my feelings, i also explained being snubbed by the bride and groom. He said he didn't realize how bad they were acting towards me,since he was the Usher and was busy doing things for the wedding. He also told me the true reason for his nasty moods lately. He said he has heard rumors that the company he works for is going out of business soon.He doesn't know if it's being sold off, or just closing the doors and going bankrupt.He didn't want to tell me before the wedding because he knows how much i stress out and worry about things. While it was nice of him to save me the worry before the wedding. Now i get to start worrying!!!! I know it doesn't pay to worry about things before they happen, but how can you not help but worry? Then this morning he calls me and tells me he is hearing rumors that as of Friday the business is closing it's doors and everyone is done.He did confront his boss this morning to ask if the rumors were true, his boss said,Yes,he is selling out.He did not say that this Friday was the last day or not, so that might just be a rumor? UGH, what else could happen?!! Maybe the upside is that i will lose alot of weight from the diahrea and not wanting to eat?? Think happy thoughts for me, i hope this drama is over soon.
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Hugs, hon. I'm so sorry. I don't know if you're the praying kind, but if it's OK I will say one for you. I hope your husband will be able to find something. Hopefully there will be a severance?? Something???? Unemployment???
Take deep breaths and take care of yourself. Lots of tea, and keep munching on things whether you want to or not. Lots of SF for now.
Hugs, A.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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Can you just pamper yourself and stay in bed today? Watch some good chick flicks and try to relax? If so, do it! If not, hang in there either way! I hope things work out for the best
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yuck!
#276501 - 07/31/06 06:13 PM
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_Willow
Reged: 04/06/05
Posts: 2090
Loc: Canada.
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You have a lot of negative energy going on there, girl! I u derstand why! Try to stay calm and put your faith in God. remember me 2 months ago and how scared i was? Everything's OK now. He always finds a way to make that window more glorious than the door ever was.
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Keep on keepin' on...
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Oh No!
#276527 - 07/31/06 08:11 PM
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countrygirl
Reged: 04/29/04
Posts: 213
Loc: Wisconsin, USA
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It is official, the business is closing it's doors on friday. I am still in shock, i did not think that an employer could legally do that, but i guess he can? DH feels horrible about it all.His family has been calling him all this evening, so i think that makes him feel worse.Keep us in your prayers that he finds work soon. I'm just trying not to worry until it's really time to worry.I'm begining to think there is no such thing as job security anymore.
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I wish something could be done to help. You'll be in my thoughts.
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***********************
If you're not dead, you've still got time.
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Re: Oh No!
#276913 - 08/03/06 10:46 AM
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jen1013
Reged: 05/06/05
Posts: 1322
Loc: the wabe
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I'm so sorry ... losing a job makes you feel so helpless. Here's hoping your husband finds another job soon.
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jen
"It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off." -- LC
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