Teenage boys & cars. Need your thoughts.
#272347 - 07/03/06 04:29 PM
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Double J
Reged: 03/09/06
Posts: 900
Loc: High Rocky Mountains ibs-d
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The biggest trigger that I have is an 18 year old boy. I would like to hear what you folks think … he has had a job for 1 week with an oilfield company in town. He makes $11 an hour. Our most recent argument has been that he wants me to cosign for a vehicle for him for $17,000. I have told him that if he holds a job for 4 months I would cosign for $8,000. After I tell him this he becomes belligerent. I have two cars here that he has the opportunity to use freely.
Now, your opinions please. Am I being too harsh with him about cosigning? He certainly thinks so.
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 Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow”. Mary Anne Radmacher
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As a teen...I honestly don't think so.
To buy my car, I went out a got a loan that I have been paying back steadily. It means I have no extra money to spare, but it also means I have my own car...completely my own.
Perhaps suggest this for your son? Maybe arrange to give him the loan yourself, if he signs a contract with you?
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No, you are not being harsh. If it was me, I'd say no car until he's 20. He can stay as a partial or part-time driver on one of your vehicles. After that he can get a bank loan to buy the car.
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Nope, I don't think you're being harsh at all. I think if your son is able to make a comittment to his job for a specified period of time, then he would be more apt to make the comittment to pay off the loan.
Good luck....
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Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away
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Hi Double J,
I don't think you're being too harsh at all. He's just being a typical 18 yr old. I don't see why you would need to cosign in the first place if he can use your other 2 cars whenever he wants. A 17,000 car just seems alittle pricey for an 18 yr old and you don't want to be left in the lurch if he loses his job and then you're on the hook for making payments.
Just my two cents.
Jenn
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I think that sounds perfectly reasonable. I didn't buy a car until I was 25 years old! Until then, I lived with my parents and drove used cars that they owned and was perfectly happy to do so. Frankly, I'm glad I didn't have that kind of financial responsibility at that age, it would have been way too much.
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If he wants the car, he needs to get a loan himself and buy the car. If he has 2 accessable vehicles and is refusing to use those, that's his problem. You're bring very nice allowing him to use them. I wouldn't cosign.
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If you're not dead, you've still got time.
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I agree
#272401 - 07/04/06 05:40 AM
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cailin
Reged: 08/12/04
Posts: 3563
Loc: Dublin, Ireland
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..you are being very reasonable. Stick to your guns!
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S.
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I agree with everyone else. Stick to your guns. You are not being unreasonable.
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Oh can I sympathize with you. I do not think you are being too harsh with your son. Since he has two cars that he can use I don't think I would co-sign at all.
We co-signed a car loan for my oldest daughter (26 now) when she was 19. She ended up loosing her job and guess who got stuck making the car payments. I swore I would never co-sign another loan for any of my kids unless I was prepared to make the payment.
Stick to your guns. Of course he is acting belligerent because he isn't getting what he wants but it will pass. I am on my third teenagers right now and I promise it will pass.
I once heard that if our Children like us all the time then we are doing something wrong. He will learn more by waiting and saving for a car.
Good Luck
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Janey
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I really appreciate your suggestions and ideas, and knowing that I am not being unreasonable with my son. I deal with youth all the time in the church, but I become afraid that with my youngest son, still living at home, that I might be too hard with him, and expect more from him then I would others. Thank you for your support.
Ravenndark ... your comments are especially meaningful to me coming from a young woman near my son's age. Thanks for your input.
Just so you all know ... I will not be cosigning for him, and he still has use of 2 cars that run well that he refuses to use right now.
Being a parent can sure be the pits some times!
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Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow”. Mary Anne Radmacher
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Anytime!
Really, sit down and talk to him, explain that at his age, he does not need a car that expensive, and if he really wants it, it will still be there when he can afford it.
Offer the idea of a loan, or of a cheaper used car. Even better, offer to sell him one of your two cars (if it's not too much of a sacrifice).
I understand the desire for a car, I really do. It's a huge responsibility, but it is also an opportunity for growth. Don't just leave your son with only one option (borrowing your car), as it seems, well...childish to us. Make a deal with him, if you can.
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Ravenndark ...
#272476 - 07/04/06 06:25 PM
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Double J
Reged: 03/09/06
Posts: 900
Loc: High Rocky Mountains ibs-d
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You pose some interesting ideas here. Thanks so much ...
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Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow”. Mary Anne Radmacher
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I couldn't agree more...he needs to earn his own money for a car. $17,000 car at 18? No 18 yr olds understand the value of $17,000 unless they have to earn every penny. Your son is fortunate that he has use of ANY car. I didn't...I walked/took the bus and then took out my own loan when I was responsible enough ( had been working a while.) You're doing great, Mom!
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Amy
IBS-A
Stable and thankful!
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I too had one of those loans to pay after our daughter defaulted on the co-signed loan. I once read a quote that said "having teenagers is like being pecked to death by chickens" described this house to a tee. I believe that Susy Ormand (sp?) (financial guru) has a book out titled something about NOT co-signing. I need to buy one for all my grown kids to read.
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Franny
IBS/D
Celiac
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and I am thankful to you and all who have responded to my post. I was just worried that I might be too hard on him sometimes, and it scares me that I might have turned into my father. He was a hard task master.
And just to let you know ... I am a father and grandfather, but now my wife is calling me mom!!! And she is getting a real kick out of it. 
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Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow”. Mary Anne Radmacher
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I'd like to find that book.
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Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow”. Mary Anne Radmacher
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Yes...I shouldn't have "assumed" you were a Mom! So to rephrase, "You're doing a great job, Dad!"
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Amy
IBS-A
Stable and thankful!
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I agree a 18 year doesn't need a $17,000 car!!!! I think your terms of keeping his job for 4 months and co-signing for a cheaper car are VERY resonable!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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I changed my bio a little. I thought that I had "father" in there. I do now. I wasn't trying to be snippy or any thing ... my wife still laughs about it. It's one of those silver linings we sometimes find in a difficult situation. Thanks for replying to my post.
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Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow”. Mary Anne Radmacher
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I think you are being more than fair. Stand your ground. Don't give in. He'll thank you for it later.
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Of course this is coming from me who had to work for a year AND get married before I could afford a car.
It's a good lesson for him to learn that if the big boy wants big toys, he has to be financially responsible for them.
Be tough!
Being belligerent to you is TOTALLY unacceptable. You do NOT have to go in on this.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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I went to Amazon and typed in "not co-signing". The one I was thinking of is by Dave Ramsey I think. I haven't read it but heard about it in a magazine.
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Franny
IBS/D
Celiac
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