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I really appreciate your suggestions and ideas, and knowing that I am not being unreasonable with my son. I deal with youth all the time in the church, but I become afraid that with my youngest son, still living at home, that I might be too hard with him, and expect more from him then I would others. Thank you for your support.
Ravenndark ... your comments are especially meaningful to me coming from a young woman near my son's age. Thanks for your input.
Just so you all know ... I will not be cosigning for him, and he still has use of 2 cars that run well that he refuses to use right now.
Being a parent can sure be the pits some times!
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 Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow”. Mary Anne Radmacher
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Anytime!
Really, sit down and talk to him, explain that at his age, he does not need a car that expensive, and if he really wants it, it will still be there when he can afford it.
Offer the idea of a loan, or of a cheaper used car. Even better, offer to sell him one of your two cars (if it's not too much of a sacrifice).
I understand the desire for a car, I really do. It's a huge responsibility, but it is also an opportunity for growth. Don't just leave your son with only one option (borrowing your car), as it seems, well...childish to us. Make a deal with him, if you can.
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Ravenndark ...
#272476 - 07/04/06 06:25 PM
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Double J
Reged: 03/09/06
Posts: 900
Loc: High Rocky Mountains ibs-d
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You pose some interesting ideas here. Thanks so much ...
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Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow”. Mary Anne Radmacher
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I couldn't agree more...he needs to earn his own money for a car. $17,000 car at 18? No 18 yr olds understand the value of $17,000 unless they have to earn every penny. Your son is fortunate that he has use of ANY car. I didn't...I walked/took the bus and then took out my own loan when I was responsible enough ( had been working a while.) You're doing great, Mom!
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Amy
IBS-A
Stable and thankful!
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I too had one of those loans to pay after our daughter defaulted on the co-signed loan. I once read a quote that said "having teenagers is like being pecked to death by chickens" described this house to a tee. I believe that Susy Ormand (sp?) (financial guru) has a book out titled something about NOT co-signing. I need to buy one for all my grown kids to read.
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Franny
IBS/D
Celiac
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and I am thankful to you and all who have responded to my post. I was just worried that I might be too hard on him sometimes, and it scares me that I might have turned into my father. He was a hard task master.
And just to let you know ... I am a father and grandfather, but now my wife is calling me mom!!! And she is getting a real kick out of it. 
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Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow”. Mary Anne Radmacher
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I'd like to find that book.
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Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow”. Mary Anne Radmacher
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Yes...I shouldn't have "assumed" you were a Mom! So to rephrase, "You're doing a great job, Dad!"
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Amy
IBS-A
Stable and thankful!
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I agree a 18 year doesn't need a $17,000 car!!!! I think your terms of keeping his job for 4 months and co-signing for a cheaper car are VERY resonable!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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I changed my bio a little. I thought that I had "father" in there. I do now. I wasn't trying to be snippy or any thing ... my wife still laughs about it. It's one of those silver linings we sometimes find in a difficult situation. Thanks for replying to my post.
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Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow”. Mary Anne Radmacher
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