Feeling guilty
#271115 - 06/26/06 08:20 PM
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Flipada
Reged: 03/02/06
Posts: 1026
Loc: West Michigan, USA
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My trip to Spain is coming up soon. I'm leaving on Saturday for 3 1/2 weeks. I'm going to study at a university there and will get credits that I need to keep my teaching certificate (In Mi. we have to take 6 credits every 5 years).
I have never left my kids that long. I've traveled to Mexico, Costa Rica and Spain with students but no more than 12 days. I'm a newlywed (a year June 30) and I'm leaving my 2 boys with my DH. He's okay with it. He tells me not to worry. I have every confidence in him. The kids will be in camp for 1 of those weeks and my mom will help on the 2 days a week that he has to work.
So although my DH is okay with it and so far, my kids are...I'm feeling really guilty for going. I know I'll have a good time while I'm there. I'll be in class M-F from 9-1:30 and then I'm free to explore or whatever. But, I guess as a newly married (very happily for the first time in my adult life) I don't want to leave. I realize that's ridiculous. It's not like I'm taking off and leaving everyone for just a vacation, but...
Arghhh. I want to be excited about the trip but I feel bad. I know I'm crazy...just needed to get that out. 
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Flipada - IBS-C "It's a gas, gas, gas"
**Lauren**
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Aww...
#271119 - 06/26/06 09:00 PM
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The guilt just means you're a giving wife and mother. Trust me, the absence will be harder on you than on your kids. I'm sure hubby will be sad, but he'll survive!
How fantastic for you! Teaching is hard, sometimes thankless work! You deserve this amazing opportunity!
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Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
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Aww, that is sooo darn sweet! See, I guess second time round IS good! I have hope!
You know what, honey, go out there and enjoy Spain as though you were me. And I'll imagine I was a newlywed again, LOL! 
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Keep on keepin' on...
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Well I'm just straight-up jealous. I did a semester in Salamanca in college. It was the best time of my life. DBF's little sister is going to Spain for the fall semester. They are at the consulate right now getting her student visa (don't worry, you only need one if you'll be there more than 90 days).
Where are you going to be studying? I think I recall that you've been to Spain before, right? If you get a chance, grab a copy of Rick Steves' Spain book. He's a great guide!
I'd probably feel guilty too, I guess, but all these experiences that enrich us make us better people to be around. Your boys (all of them) will respect you more for taking adventures.
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Amanda
I live in the Big Apple, but I don't eat the skin
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Re: Aww...
#271150 - 06/27/06 07:40 AM
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Flipada
Reged: 03/02/06
Posts: 1026
Loc: West Michigan, USA
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Christine,
I take it you're a teacher? Yeah...thankless work...and this was a particularly difficult. I barely made it through and have seriously been considering my options but where I live (Michigan), I'm supposed to be thankful for having a job. So, I am...for now.
BTW, I got 2 REALLY sweet cards from students (seniors) at the end of the year that made me feel like maybe I AM doing something right. So, it's not so thankless I guess. 
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Flipada - IBS-C "It's a gas, gas, gas"
**Lauren**
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Cookie,
I know that with you and others I may seem to be a critic and real negative but it's just that I've been through a lot of things that have been really bad/tough in my lifetime....mostly the 11 years that I was with my ex and my time as single mom. BUT, after being divorced for 4 1/2 years, my DH came along. And although we've only been married for almost a year and together for 2, we already have a better relationship than I ever did with my ex. DH is caring and supportive, thoughtful, generous and is the husband and dad I was hoping for the first time.
And you know what? If I hadn't been through all the bad, I know for sure that I wouldn't appreciate him as much as I do. I really believe there was a reason for my misery. I'm so very lucky. Guess that's where my separation anxiety comes in!
I believe that some day you will find the ONE. It may be years from now, but it will happen. I'm happy for you that you're working your way through this thing!
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Flipada - IBS-C "It's a gas, gas, gas"
**Lauren**
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Amanda,
I'm going to study in Bilbao (Basque country). It's a program designed specifically for Spanish teachers so I'm excited that it'll be something that will actually apply to what I do. There will be little trips throughout...mostly to places in Spain that I HAVEN'T been. I'm also going to visit with a friend in England for a weekend.
My last experience in Spain wasn't good. Maybe my expectations were too high. It was my first time in Europe. I had a wonderful study abroad experience when I lived in Mexico and fell in love with the country. I guess I was expecting that to happen with Spain as well. But, I was also with students and they were particularly poorly behaved.
I know I'll miss my kids more than they will me. I'm actually bringing my laptop and webcam so we'll be able to talk face to face. Last night DH and I planned a week in August at Yogi Bear's Jellystone Park in Wisconsin with the kids. It'll be fun for all of us and something to look forward to so, I feel a little better.
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Flipada - IBS-C "It's a gas, gas, gas"
**Lauren**
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yes
#271325 - 06/27/06 10:47 PM
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I teach 9th and 12th grade English. I usually say that when it's good, teaching is the best job in the world, but when it's bad, it's the worst! I've definitely been feeling the strain of the accountability movement the past couple of years. I'm in a "high performing school," and the pressure to keep it that way can get to me. The kids are (mostly) great, though. There are some years where I absolutely fall in love with them, and this was not quite one of those years. I did have some nice ones, though. 
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Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
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take pics and go some places with them in mind, pick up things to brign home for them... something special.. and still do things fun for you.. Even as a happily married newlywed I went on trips a few times on my own- either because he wouldn't have had fun due to the situation or because it wasn't possible due to work schedules...
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Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant
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Re: yes
#271350 - 06/28/06 07:34 AM
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Flipada
Reged: 03/02/06
Posts: 1026
Loc: West Michigan, USA
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That's for sure!
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Flipada - IBS-C "It's a gas, gas, gas"
**Lauren**
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