OK, OK!!!
#267408 - 06/03/06 10:28 AM
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_Willow
Reged: 04/06/05
Posts: 2090
Loc: Canada.
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I will!
yes, it's hesitation that that will make it real, it's the fact that I'm scared I'll get charged an exorbitant amount, and it's also the belief that he won't screw us over...and also the belief that even if he tried his mother would be after his butt so fast he wouldn't know what to do with himself.
But yes, I will get a lawyer. I know now I can't trust him. I've been trying to do it when he's not around so he doesn't ahve to overhear. He's not around much, but yesterday got sucked out of my hands so fast I really had no time, and that decompression session at lunch was critical to my sanity. i'll check some stuff on the Net today to see who to call.
Please make me acocuntable for this! 
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Keep on keepin' on...
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Shannon
#267414 - 06/03/06 11:28 AM
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Janey
Reged: 10/25/03
Posts: 1716
Loc: Maryland
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I have been following all of your posts and I am so very sorry that you have to go through all of this and that your husband is hurting you so much.
I have to say that you cannot rely on the idea that he will not take advantage of you and would never hurt your daughter by not paying child support. You cannot rely on this belief. You have to see a lawyer. That is the only way you can be assured that he will help your support your daughter. You cannot be nice about this and put his needs first. I am not saying you have to "take him to the cleaners" but you have to put yourself and Kayleigh first.
I have seen many great fathers leave their families and slowly stop spending time with their children and slowly stop paying child support. It seems when they get into the single life they forget their responsibilities.
As far as his interest in teens and sex and the comments about when Kayleigh is a teenager and when her friends come over. I have NEVER heard any man that I know make such a comment. That is not normal at all and I would be very leary about him especially as Kayleigh gets older. I know it is difficult to think that someone you love and trust could do such a thing but it does happen.
The only thing that I can see a 29 year old man and a 17 year old girl have in common is sex.
I will keep you in my prayers. You are a beautiful strong woman and you do not need him in your life. We are all here for you.
Hugs,
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Janey
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I'm not worried about him getting into kiddie stuff at all, but you're right, I will have concern when she's a teen. I will keep you all updated.
thanks!
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It's really perverted that he's salivating about when Keyleigh's friend's are teenagers.
Shannon, as much as you don't want it to be over, you have to get this guy out of your life for yours and your daughter's sake.
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No problem. I will hold you accountable. I will ask you again on Monday evening what steps you took towards getting a lawyer.
Remember, getting a lawyer doesn't mean trying to take everything away from him. It means that you and your daughter will be safe and provided for no matter what. That's all. I'm sure somewhere in your community there are lawyers that help people in your circumstance that don't have a lot of money.
Also, keep a log of his comments or things he does. You always think you'll remember where and when something happened or exactly what he said, but you'd be surprised....if it comes down to it, you'll need details. So things like the "when she's a teen" comment, you need to write down from memory (now) and try to get exactly what he said word for word. It's important. Really important.
Lauren
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Flipada - IBS-C "It's a gas, gas, gas"
**Lauren**
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I now know who the girl is. She's a hostess at his work, and she's struck me as a sleazy kiod from day one. Her name is the same as my daughter's, and I've met her, and so she KNOWS he's married with a daughter. We've been in for dinner together and she's been there.
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That is crazy!
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Hi Shannon,
I have been reading all your posts, and my heart is really going out to you. It sounds like you in an absolutely awful situation that I cannot even begin to appreciate the extent of. I have been thinking of you a lot lately, and I didn't even know what to say but I thought I would say that I am here to support you.
I also wanted to say, though, that I agree with Ashely and the others that have said: Kick. Him. Out.!!
He needs to go! The fact that his brother or whatever isn't ready for him to move in and his mom won't have him is *his* problem. He made it a problem for himself alone when he put all this crap on you and broke the vows that he made to you by lusting after a girl who in underage (I know it's 14 in Canada, but that's only with parental consent as far as I know for sexual acts and I am pretty sure they aren't about to consent to any of that!).
If he has to sleep in a motel, let him. If he has to beg another friend, sleep on someone's floor, sleep in his car, sleep *anywhere else*, that is for him to sort out.
If I would you, I would tell him you are lawyering up, kick him out and change the locks. And until he is properly evaluated psychologically, I would only give him supervised visits to your daughter.
My sisters best friend is going through something similar and has been for *years* now, and that's what I don't want for you! She has been saying for that long that eventually, she'll kick him out.. Now he does have some big time mental problems that have come out in the last few years that were *never* apparent in the first.. gosh, 15 years.. of their relationship. Now he goes to pick their daughter up cough syrup, and doesn't come back until 4 days later.
Point is, my sisters friend is completely destroyed by this. She has let it consume her life, when she should have just cut him off when all the BS started. Don't let his antics ruin who you are as a person. There are so many *good* men out there, who don't look at young girl pornography, who don't keep secrets and disrespect their families and the people who love them.
You deserve SO MUCH BETTER than this, and the sooner you get him out the door the closer you will be to finding a better life for yourself and your daughter.
I don't want to sound insensitive, I know that doing that may possibly be the hardest thing you will ever have to do but I do believe it will be worth it.
You are still in my thoughts, and we're all here for you!
**hugs**
Steph
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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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Oh my gosh! The same name?! That's just too creepy.
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next week for 2 weeks while they're on holidays.. phew.
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