Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards

Hi guys,

Am feeling a little stressed at the moment and I feel like I have been trying to keep it in check, but I think I need to let some of it out before it starts getting to me.
If you all remember, Adrian was thinking of joining the British Army a while back. He is still considering it, but we are trying to focus on other things at the moment. While we were on holiday, for the first few days he was really grumpy and depressed and it turned out to be because he was so depressed that he had to go back to a job he hates so much. So he quit. Via eMail.

Now, I think this was the right decision because it was a crappy job and obviously someone's happiness is the most important thing but now that he is about to finish up his 2 weeks notice, I am starting to feel the pressure a little.
He says people are crying out for security staff, which is true, and he'll be able to get shifts whenever he wants but I am just nervous that he WON'T. I told him to take a bit of time to get caught up with school and he needs to do a bunch of stuff to get an application in to work for the sherrif's service here, but I am worried after that he'll still be depressed and subsequently really unmotivated to do anything.. like call for work.
Even though I make more money per hour than he did, his chqs were always bigger because of overtime and I can't get guarunteed full time hours.
Furthermore, I have applied for full-time twice at work and been turned down both times because my sales dollars aren't high enough. Instead, they gave it to new people who haven't even started. So I have a greivance in with the union (which was another super stressful decision and has given me some problems at work since) which I put in a few months ago, and still haven't heard anything.
I am trying to eat healthier and get more fish and things like that, but I am getting major anxiety at the grocery store because of how expensive everything is. To make matters worse, Adrian never stops complaining about how expensive food is here so I can never just let it go.

I don't know if I can support our rent payments, loan payments, credit card payment all by myself and I can't tell Adrian because I think if I push him at all, he'll run straight to the army and that will be it for us.

I want him to have his happiness, which he says lies with being a police officer. One of the police departments here would hire him, if he would learn to swim... but he won't sign up for lessons. All the others just want more education, which he is working on slowly but surely. And he got past the first stage with another force, but says the appliaction is "too big" to fill out so he doesn't want to do it right now.
I am so frustrated - I feel like I am being so supportive that I could hold him on my little finger, but then he accuses me of NOT being supportive because we are at odds about the army thing.

Aargh. I am just feeling a bit stressed and worried about what will happen in the next few weeks/months.

Please send good thoughts my way!

Steph

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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.

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