An update on my situation....
#265927 - 05/27/06 02:24 PM
|
|
|
|
|
_Willow
Reged: 04/06/05
Posts: 2090
Loc: Canada.
|
|
|
Oh it has been a day...
Last night I went out with some teacher friends, had a good time, even had a few guys hitting on me...good for the ego. Drank a bit too much and feel like warmed over barf today.
Today I talked with DH after he got another long mystery phone call. I said "do you not recall we said neither of us would date someone if we lived in the same house" And he denied me ever saying that of course. He swears he's not at all with anyone but it sounds like he has an interest in someone. He said now he's popular, with all these friends from the restaurant seeing his party side, i guess...(ps that's 99% female staff...)
Anyhow, he said that his mom talks to him as soon as I finish talking to her...and that he knows I still have hope for the relationship, and as far as he's concerned it's a marriage on paper only.
We said we'd get some lawyers.
He still refuses to tell me why he's leaving and obviously is absolutely convinced that counselling for him would be useless.
Soo, I have much less hope today. I guess if I have to do it on my own, I have to! I do love him with all my heart but am pretty sickened by his coldness and bluntness.
However, I said he can stay unless he's dating someone so we can get our affirs in order. I guess I have to go see a lawyer soon because apparently if I get a teaching contract, he can quit his job and expect me to carry him. Good luck with that!!
So there, that's me today. I'm a little head swimmy from last night, so am having a hard time knowing what I feel right now. Defeated would be a good one. And dangit, i just went out and bought the book "Fight For Your marriage."
Ugh I've been pretty D this week. I finally went and got some immodium but I've lost 15 pounds already...ha ha, only 40 to go.... I am anorexic but not really by choice. I try to eat but can't get anything in. I can only handle like, a cracker every few hours! Big time BRAT diet right now. But I can't even stomach toast. 
Please continue to pray for, or to send thoughts up, for me. Thank you for all your wonderful advice and support.
--------------------
Keep on keepin' on...
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
It really does sound like he's being sooo cold, and that must be awful. And I don't get why he's being that way? I mean it's not like it gets him anywhere, it's just really odd that he's like 'flipped a mental switch' all of a sudden, and is being so horrible and insensitive. I mean telling you he's 'popular' now - why would he do that, what's the point? All this hassle isn't your fault, so why's he rubbing salt into the wounds?! It's like because HE'S made a decision he expects you to have undergone an immediate mental transition from his loving wife to a housemate or something!!
Sorry, not offering advice so much, just feel so bad for you 'cause of the horrible way he's treating you. You definitely don't deserve it!!
How old is he by the way? Just thinking possible mid-life crisis, apparently that can happen pretty suddenly...
To me, his behaviour is atrocious - even if he's suddenly decided he 'doesn't love you', you are still the mother of his child, and as such you deserve a HELL of a lot more respect and common courtesy than he's giving you. However stubborn and pig headed he's being you DO deserve an explanation and you DO have a right to know who he's talking to - no matter what's going on in his head.
Beyond that - you're in our thoughts, and we're sending you all the positive mental vibes we have! Whatever happens, you're a wonderful person, and you deserve to be with someone who appreciates that, and cherishes you the way you should be cherished. Whoever he was before, this guy he's turned into doesn't deserve you at all. 
--------------------
http://ibsblondie13.blogspot.com/
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
I'm so sorry Shannon...I'm sending lots of happy thoughts and (((HUGS))) your way. I think it's great that you want to try and work things out...but also good that you are going to get a lawyer in case it's just not going to happen. I really wish I had some wonderful, knock your socks off advice but I don't...but I do want you to know that I'm thinking about you and wishing you happier days 
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
I'm just devastated by what a cold jerk he's been. I mean, I know he can be cold but he's never been cold to ME. Maybe not the most encouraging guy but never, like, rude or mean like this.
He's 29 and I think he's going through a midlife crisis. He says he's happy with who he is, thinks he makes a lot of money and loves his "career"-sorry, being a restaurant manager is a fun job but I wonder if it will take him far career wise....he is in love with the idea of the restaurant industry, the partying, the nightlife, the phony kindness everyone has...it's all an illusion but I guess he's too naive to see that. Or he doesn't care.
We'll see what happens in the future. For now, I'm calling this one done.
--------------------
Keep on keepin' on...
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
magical advice! Chin is up. 
--------------------
Keep on keepin' on...
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
I don't want this to sound cold at all because I think your fab, but I think he might have either found someone or wants to date around again. I really don't think there's anything tyou can do when someone wants to leave.
I'm so sorry. 
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Oh for sure he does. You don't sound cold, and I know there's nothing I can do to change that. However, it's pretty hard to get used to.
--------------------
Keep on keepin' on...
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
I agree that he ows you WAY more respect. I hope you've got him sleeping on the couch by now!!!!
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
I would be DEVASTATED if Tommy ever did that to me. I would fight like h@ll. But at the same time, I wouldn't want him sticking around if he no longer wanted to be with me.
It's very sad but you're strong. If he doesn't want to try then you can't stop him. Make him sleep on the couch though!!!
Maybe after a week or two of being gone, he'll come to his senses! As I said my brother went through a smiliar thing and realized that he wasn't such a stud after all when back on the market. Maybe he'll see that it won't be as he expects it to be. I don't get how he can shove it in your face that other's are interested in him. That's CRUEL!!! Grrr....
May I use him to practice my kickboxing? PLEASE!!!  I know exactly where to aim!
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
and that's he has scoliosis and can't sleep in Kayleigh's bed or the couch without being is serious misery the next day, and I am too bloody stubborn to give up the bed.And if he had a sore back and had to stay home I think I'd go nuts!@
But I told him that we do not sleep in the sme bed if he is even thinking about dating someone. i don't want any diseases, even the ones that crawl.
--------------------
Keep on keepin' on...
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Posts
