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I went looking at Focus on the Family website and I found this website that is specifically for people in your situation. If you get a chance maybe you can find something helpful web page . I was going to email you some websites but I didn't know if you would want email on the subject.
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Shannon, there are family programs for those affected by compulsive sexual behavior (S-Anon ), compulsive gambling (Gam-Anon), and alcoholism (Al-Anon).
I have personal experience with Al-Anon groups and they can be incredibly helpful. Even if you can't find an S-Anon group - or feel uncomfortable going to one - please try an Al-Anon group. The principles of all three groups are the same so what you learn in any of them will help you in all areas of your life.
Take care.
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[Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. - Sandra Boynton]
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Have a blessed day! Rachel
Formerly poochibelly...
I have IBS but it doesn't have me!
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I've never had to deal with this topic personally, but I feel very strongly about it nonetheless, and obviously it's something that has bothered you too. I do feel bad for people who feel the "need" to use porn in their lives to supplement and make up for whatever they feel they are lacking. It seems sometimes it's just recreational, but sometimes it's to the point where it's damaging, which is what you seem to suspect.
I know you said you hoped for reconciliation still, so I hope you can find away to talk to him about it without alienating him anymore. That is a really difficult thing to do. I can see myself flying into a rage if I discovered that stuff, I hope you manage to maintain some control (you seem to be pretty patient). Good luck to you...these are hard time for you and I'll be thinking of you.
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Shannon....
#265516 - 05/25/06 08:24 AM
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cailin
Reged: 08/12/04
Posts: 3563
Loc: Dublin, Ireland
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more hugs for you honey.
It is great that you have got to meet the counsellor and that she is helping you to make sense of things. Meeting counsellors is such a worthwhile experience but it really hurts and brings up and out so many emotions.
Not sure really what else to say.
you take care of yourself.
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S.
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Shannon
#265539 - 05/25/06 10:58 AM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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Shannon, I have been following your situation, and although I have been unable to post lately because something's been wrong with my computer, I have been thinking of you a lot and praying that you and your husband will work things out.
I have been married for almost 26 years, and the two of us have been through some really rough times when I thought the marriage was over. But somehow---by the grace of God---we always managed to work it out.
I just pray that the lines of communication will be opened for the two of you, and that you will be able to work through this. For your daughter's sake, I hope you can do that.
If you really love this guy, I'd work as hard as I could to make it work out. Sometimes when we think we've hit rock bottom, we gather the strength to climb our way out of the hole, and during the process, we become stronger because of it. It can happen!
I'm glad that you are getting counseling. Hopefully, your husband will open up to you soon, and the two of you can work through this. If he is unwilling, you will be fine. You are a strong person, and you will make it through this.
I'll continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers. You have us here to lean on.
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he is secretive about his porn and is always scared of getting caught etc...so he doesn't spy on my side....but if he does, he knows what's coming and that is great.
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Keep on keepin' on...
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because when Iw as pregnant and too sweet, innocent and pristine to touch(you know, the madonna complex) they were there to help out. But I guess I've basically been condoning cheating. And he has looked at it on probably a daily basis for the last few years...makes so much sense!!!
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Keep on keepin' on...
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Keep on keepin' on...
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I had no idea it could destroy marriages! In fact, when we were engaged and going to the classes, we laughed when a man said porn was a bad addiction for him! We thought that was silly. But really, if he's more into it now, and I ahve seen and the pictures are getting weirder(not vile) and grosser, then I suspect it could be just that.
I ahve NO idea how to approach it so he opens up though, cause I condoned it for six years.
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Keep on keepin' on...
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