My friend is officially a b-word!!! Need help with my response to her.
#264565 - 05/20/06 04:07 PM
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Ok after not hearing back from my friend for 2 weeks I FINALLY got an email after sending her a second one telling her that we're all busy and that I think it's sad that she doesn't have 5 mins to write me back.
Her email was BRUTAL!!!!! Here:
Quote:
Hi Tina,
I am not sure if you realize how your tone comes across on an email but it's kind of annoying. I have been swamped this month and had the flu and had a death in the family. So give me a break okay??? Sometimes it takes people awhile to return messages. That's life. You can't expect everyone to write you back immediately when you expect it. You shouldn't be sad because you just told me how happy you are that you are living in NYC with Tommy. If you are sad you should do something about it. ARe you sad because people are not emailing you ? ARe you sad because you don't have a job? Are you sad because you miss your life here in Ottawa? Are you sad because you miss your friends? Are you not happy living in NYC? I'm not sure why you are sad. I am sorry that you feel sad. People are busy, you
are right, but they do their best and that is what I am doing considering the circumstances.
Emily
For the record, I LOVE living here as you all know and I do miss two friends back in Ottawa (not her obviously) but I am not sad about it. They are both coming to the wedding next month so I'll see them soon! 
It p@sses me off to no end that she is implying that I'm not truly happy. Grrrrr.... I don't know if there's some jealousy there or what but come on now???!!! 
** HERE"S WHERE I NEED YOUR HELP** Nelly??? You're SUPER at this!!!!
I need a response to email her back to help me out!!! I am so bad at sticking up for myself or coming up with witty combacks. I no longer consider her a friend now. Why she thinks I am sad because of my new life is BEYOND me???? I stated CLEARLY that I was sad that she put so little thought into writing back.
Oh...... I am FUMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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then why bother with a come back? Hurling insults back and forth will just incite more aggravation and grief. I think that by letting it go, you will prove to be the bigger person.
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Have a blessed day! Rachel
Formerly poochibelly...
I have IBS but it doesn't have me!
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I see your point and my first reaction was to block her emails from coming in through my email software.
BUT-- she's always thought of me as somehow weak and I want to finally stand up to her and show her that I'm not going take HER brutal email and that she's the one to blame for taking so long to write back.
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well I'm an Emily But I'm not that Mean!!!
But first if I were you i'd calm down because if I get stresed i get IBS symptoms really easy. Well right her back telling her what a good life you're having compared to her misreble one 
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Puppies Are Cute But I'm Cuter
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I know, I am fuming and my tummy is starting to hurt.  Good point, I'll try to calm down.
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that was NOT necessary for her to say...I understand that sometimes in emails tone is one of those things which can come across in the wrong way sometimes but there was NO NEED for her to write that response to you...that was out of order. I wouldnt be nasty in writing back though...I dont know what others are going to say to this....but I wouldnt try and turn it into an argument...if shes going to be like that then thats her problem. Im not sticking up for her by saying this....but I know how busy my life has been and how I have often seemed to neglect friends when it hasnt been the case...2 weeks isnt nearly as long as how long Ive taken to reply sometimes to emails...and its not that I dont care about my friends...so many other things just seem to get in the way. Im in no means trying to defend her...Im just saying that I know you were angry she hadnt replied but I dont think you had major reason to be....or maybe I dont know the full story and obviously I dont know the full history of your friendship...dont be mad at me saying this...Im not saying you were over reacting...but I hope that your friend genuinly DID just have a lot going on...I know Ive been annoyed when someone hasnt emailed me back after a while...I always just hope that theyre not ignoring me and that there is a genuine reason...if what your friend says is true then I think thats fair enough. All this said...SHE SHOULD NOT have spoken to you like that....ESPECIALLY WHEN YOUR WEDDING IS SO SOON.....I dont know what your email said so I cant comment on what I would have thought the tone sounded like....but Im on your side...that was NASTY of her to take it out on you like that....I would be very upset too. Hope Nelly comes up wonders with a witty response....sending lots and lots of hugs...let us know how you get on 
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 Natalie
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Nat,
It's not just the waiting for 2 weeks for a response. It's that in the 5 months that I've lived here I've only heard from her twice at the most. She was someone who I considered a VERY close friend, not just a casual aquantaince.
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sorry if I sounded a bit against you...you are too fabulous a person and if she doesnt know that then thats her loss. I know that must be painful to feel like the friendship you have wasnt maybe what you thought it was...Ive had that actually and its a hard thing to go through...you feel like you've done something wrong or that they obviously werent really friends with you in the first place. Its not your fault Tina...I dont know why she hasnt kept in touch...a phonecall is all it could have taken so for that I apologise and she is even more out of order than I thought. Was that the first email you've received from her in the 5 months then?? Cos if it is then shes far from being the sort of friend you deserve.
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Natalie
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Oh no, you're free to speak your mind with me at all times. If someone thinks I am wrong I will hear them out.
But ya, it's the 5 month thing. I got an email from her a week after I moved here asking me if she could come visit me. I said no that I had JUST moved in and it wasn't a good time. Maybe that made her mad? Anyhow, MONTHS went by without hearing from her. Ugh!
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Emily,
First of all, I am sorry about the death in your family.
I debated whether I should even write back but I'm sure you know me well enough to know that I've never been able to bite my tongue.
Considering the rude response that I got back from you I don't think we should email each other again or be friends. While 2 weeks might not be a big deal, I have lived here for 5 months and have barely heard from you at all. Wendy emails me weekly as does Elizabeth, Greg, Shannon and Michelle. So your comment about being sad at the fact that nobody is emailing me is not correct. That is rather presumptuous on your part. I have been pleased with those who have taken the effort to keep in touch and now see who are real friends. I considered you a friend but I was wrong. Most of them are coming to my wedding which is great.
I want to clarify something. I am very happy with my life here. I have an interview next week for a consultant design job that pays $##/hour in Manhattan, I've recently made a friend at my yoga class and am having a fabulous wedding in 3 weeks. What I was sad about was the fact that a "so called friend" took such little interest in keeping touch with me over the past 5 months that I've been gone. I have truly discovered who my real friends are since moving away and you are most certainly NOT one of them. Yes, attitude is intentional Emily.
I am truly disappointed to end a friendship with you as I have always thought so highly of you.
Tina
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I cant imagine someone being upset with you because you told her she couldnt come just yet...thats totally understandable for you to feel like that and for months to go by I dont understand. I tell you the older I get...the more odd people seem to be....I dont have any advice....have you rang her at all in this time?? I probably wouldnt feel like calling her after that email....though maybe I would to tell her that this is geting a bit petty....her email comes across as very school girl behaviour dressed up in an adult voice....maybe she was having a bad day or a particularly rough time when the email arrived and maybe the way you wrote it(not purposeflly) just hit a nerve with her and she happened to take it out on you??? Still no excuse...but if its upsetting you at all maybe you should try calling her...that way theres no room for misinterpretation of words on her part???
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Natalie
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I won't be calling her but it's nice for you to suggest that as it could potentially clear up a misunderstanding. But I think I'm too hurt at this point to even want to patch things up!
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if thats the way you feel about the friendship needing to end then I think its a well written, honest response....let us know if she replies back
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Natalie
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Personally I'd be aggravatingly nice! Rise above it, she'd hate it 'cause it'd make her feel inferior...
Something like....
"Wow, what an excitable response to a simple email! Bless ya, I guess you must be pretty stressed & unhappy to react like that - are you ok? It is definitely sad someone I considered a good friend has ended up in a place where she feels she has to write emails like that. I sometimes forget not everyone is as happy and content as I am lucky enough to be right now.
I do hope you're ok, and sorry you're having such a rough time. I obviously didn't deserve such a harsh reply, which was way beyond "annoying", but I won't say any more 'cause if you're in a place where you never have 2 mins to reply to friends' emails and have ended up writing nasty, silly ones like that you must be really struggling with life right now.
Hope things start to get a bit easier for you soon, and you know where I am if you want to catch up (but no more tantrum throwing eh?!), Tina"
But that's just me! Just judging from her words/tone she wants to make you feel inferior, which is cruel, so I'd just flip it right back. I'd either do that or just write a really, really short one back just kinda dismissing her for being so silly.
Let us know what you do sweat sista, and loadsa hugs heading your way!!
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http://ibsblondie13.blogspot.com/
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because this person was bossy and brazen and waaaaay overstepped any boundaries that were there. I chose to write her a note and said something to the effect of...it seems that the season for our friendship is over. I wish you the best...something like that. My preference would have been "listen you...cross the line again and I will kick your sorry rear" but it would have added more fuel to the fire. I guess what I am suggesting is that if you are going to respond, do it in a way where she can't fire back. You can speak your mind and be graceful and dignified at the same time...this way she has no cause to say to others "DO YOU KNOW WHAT TINA SAAAAAAAIIIIIDDDD???????????????
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Have a blessed day! Rachel
Formerly poochibelly...
I have IBS but it doesn't have me!
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if at any time you feel that you would like to clear things up then you know you can ring her...you'd look the better person in doing so...and Im sure if she is any sort of friend at all she will feel extremely guilty and embarrassed at the way shes behaved. Lifes too short to make enemies or hold grudges...i hope she comes to her senses and realises what she might be about to lose.
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Natalie
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You're right about that. She will tell the others including my ex but I honestly don't care about them. None of them are friends anyway as they all took the side of the ex and dumped me.
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Ive told you you should be a writer...I think I'd send that sort of message back tina...similar to what you wrote anyway but maybe throw in some of those witty comments blondie made which I think made it sound even better....I hope it has the desired effect.....
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Natalie
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Caroline,
I am using your reply!! PERFECT!!!!!
I OWE YOU BIG!!! GENUIS!!!!
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I am sending her words............all of them!! I won't put my petty response in as she will make fun of it. Blondie's reply REALLY puts her in her place.
I LOVE IT!!!!!!!! GENIUS!!!
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I dont think anyone could have come up with anything better...let us know if she replies....
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Natalie
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 Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow”. Mary Anne Radmacher
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Witty? Moi? Yay, been a while since I managed wit!
I just like it cause it dismisses her silliness without saying anything she can actually justiably get pissed at - cause it's worded in a vary caring way! And what would she tell her friends? - "God, I sent Tina a narky email and she replied back all nice and considerate!" Also doesn't end the friendship if you decide it's worth another shot later on...
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http://ibsblondie13.blogspot.com/
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Nothing can top that!!!!  
I doubt she'll reply though!
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if I have a problem with something and its annoying or upsetting me I always find its better to just deal with it then and there and move on....otherwise you're just going to be thinking about it anyways and waiting a week or two is just playing at her game...and I hate game playing. Thats my personal opinion anyways...but blondies email s genius and I think it should do the job.
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Natalie
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Caroline, I ought to pay you for every word you wrote. It was so incredibly perfect in every way! That's some talent you've got!
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Aw shucks, blushing again now!  (see my reply to Nat's post below on why I thought it would work)
What can she do? Reply in an arsey way and look like a spoilt, excitable child? And if she does, you can know you've ended the friendship with the upper hand. And if she's nice/normal/apologetic, well, you keep the friendship on your terms and you've yanked back the upper hand/moral high ground!
Let us know if she can think up a suitable reply!
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http://ibsblondie13.blogspot.com/
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Easy girls - I won't get my head thru the bedroom door soon!
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http://ibsblondie13.blogspot.com/
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thats the one things I probably would have said against your email tina...if you'd have put about ending the friendship it might have maybe come back and hit u in the face...when maybe there is hope that the friendship wont be over. Blondie you are very WITTY and it WAS very caring which is why I like it so much....I know who to come to for witty emails in the future.
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Natalie
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I will indeed let you know if she dare back reply. I can't see how she will though?!!!
If I never hear from her again, THIS is a really great way to have it end. Rather than me sending her that harsh email, yours was perefct and it doesn't make me look nuts, she is!
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Well said n/t
#264601 - 05/20/06 05:13 PM
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Natalie1985
Reged: 08/09/04
Posts: 1329
Loc: UK - Leeds for uni, Merseyside for home!
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Natalie
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I try not to be too hasty when I am making such a decision. There's an old Chinese proverb - Speak slow - think fast. There's going to be no harm in waiting.
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Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow”. Mary Anne Radmacher
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Very true. I doubt she'll come back for more after that though! tee hee (..huge grin..)
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I ended up responding to her with Blondie's suggested words. See below if interested. Blondie's a super writer!!
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true true...
#264605 - 05/20/06 05:15 PM
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Natalie1985
Reged: 08/09/04
Posts: 1329
Loc: UK - Leeds for uni, Merseyside for home!
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but I think if you read Blondies proposed response below it is a very well written and witty response that I dont think Tina will regret sending
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Natalie
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Great attitude, you go girl! You have no need for her friendship if she is that nasty, but you've put the ball inher court - shape up and keep the friendship, or carry on being childish and we're done.
Right, off to bed, all this thinking's made my brain hurt!
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http://ibsblondie13.blogspot.com/
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ha ha, ok I'll stop. But I do thank you for helping me out with this! Sweat sista to the rescue.
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Hehe....
#264609 - 05/20/06 05:18 PM
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Natalie1985
Reged: 08/09/04
Posts: 1329
Loc: UK - Leeds for uni, Merseyside for home!
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havent had one of these quick fire responses on the board in a long time...Id forgotton how much fun they are With the time difference it always seems people are posting at random times and I end up replying later that day and then someone to me a day later Dontcha just LOVE broadband internet!
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Natalie
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True! I though that since it's Saturday night nobody would see this until Monday. YAY for Nat and Blondie for being at the computer!!!
I think I'm off to watch a movie (foreign French one!) and drink some wine to unwind.
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That certainly is a good reply. Maybe I can be faster in the future if I have such great help in writting.
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Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow”. Mary Anne Radmacher
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Yes! I am so bad at replies so you can alsways help out!
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lol...no seriously...no money and everyone in the middle of exams...thats the reason for my night infront of the computer Right I am signing off and going to bed its 1.21 in the morning here and Im nackered....good night blondie and good night tina...glad you got it all sorted...
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Natalie
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Good night to both of you!
I am home alone as Tommy's partying it up at his bachelor party! He just called from the steak house restaurant they're at because there's 2 Mets...or Jets... players there. Tommy was so excited. cute!
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Awww...
#264616 - 05/20/06 05:25 PM
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Natalie1985
Reged: 08/09/04
Posts: 1329
Loc: UK - Leeds for uni, Merseyside for home!
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YAY for tommy....hope hes having a fabulous night...have you had your hen night??? I cant remember if you posted about that??
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Natalie
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Nope, no hen night for me. Maybe I should organize one for all my online ibs friends and me in the Big Apple! Everyone welcome!
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I dunno... I've decided never to send emails in reply to something hurtful until 48 hours afterwards. I've seen emails go wrong far too many times, and I read a study that 80% of emails are misinterpreted. I think I have to agree that thinking carefully first and writing slowly is a good idea.
To the original post though, I'm sorry your old friend disappointed you, I know how much it hurts when someone turns out to not value your friendship as much as you value theirs.
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This is such a perfect respone Blondie13.
Tina, let us know how it turns out. I hope your (ex) friend realises that she's sounding immature.
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Here's what she wrote:
Quote:
Hi,
Listen, this is ridiculous. I just don't think you understood the tone of your email that's all. I'm in a a great place, a great job with a great guy with great friends. You have no idea what I have gone through the last
couple of weeks. As a good friend you would be sympathetic to this. I guess you misunderstood the tone of my email. As you know I am to the point and honest. My email was not nasty or silly, it was realistic. As for tantrum throwing, well it seems that I hit a nerve with you. Why are you so upset over this?
Emily
I don't know if I'll bother writing back. At this point I no longer want to be friends with her. Since I'm living in another country I may very well never see her again which is ok by me. The ones left in Ottawa are coming to my wedding and have stayed in touch. That speaks volumes. Also, the fact that she has written to me twice in one week is annoying. She only does this when there's a problem. Ugh!
Any suggestions? Caroline? Natalie?
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Well, I guess it was a 'semi-apology', but she clearly can't get over the whole trying to come across superior thing - "Why are you so upset over this?" . And she also can't make her mind up - either everything is "great", or she's been going through a "tough" time. Which one?!
Obviously up to you if you reply or not. I think if it was me I'd just say:
"Hiya
Not quite sure how you thought I was upset - I was saying all was cool and I understood why you sent that kind of email. And I was being sypathetic to what you've been going through, that was the point of my mail! I agree this is ridiculous - you're misunderstanding each email I send & reacting like a child, then trying to blame me for it. You're making keeping in touch such hard work!
Look, I hope you're doing ok, I obviously care and consider myself a friend or I wouldn't have mailed you in the first place - up to you if you want to throw that away by trying to start an argument over nothing. You're obviously the one who's upset, and you know where I am if you need any help with that.
Tina"
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http://ibsblondie13.blogspot.com/
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think Blondies response is yet again on the mark....dont really know what to say about what your friend replied....she is obviously being petty...and replying to you so quick this time....hmmm....that makes her look even worse in my eyes.... Id maybe send what blondie has suggested if you want to send anything at all.
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Natalie
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Ooooh yes....
#264649 - 05/21/06 06:30 AM
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Natalie1985
Reged: 08/09/04
Posts: 1329
Loc: UK - Leeds for uni, Merseyside for home!
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I'll be there in a shot...give me time and place details and we can have a virtual extravanganza!!
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Natalie
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Thanks Caroline. It's a great reply but I think at this point I'll going to dump her as a friend for good. No explanation, I just won't write back to her anymore.
Her loss!!!
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Thanks Nat.
I am fed up with her and am not going to even bother replying. Hey - she went MONTHS without replying to me and saw NOTHING wrong with it so she'll get a taste of her own medicine by waiting around to hear back from me. Well, she never will. And my couch is officially off-limits for her so she is scr@wing herself out of a place to stay in NYC. ha ha
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I wish!
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and I dont blame you...you dont have time for petty and pathetic friends who act like that...I hope she realises just how stupid shes been and what a GREAT FRIEND shes lost
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Natalie
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she sounds just like a friend i used to have...we were inseperable (did i spell that right!? lol)..anyways all the sudden she stopped talking to me for 9 months...i'd call her, email her...never an answer and all for no reason..finally i wrote and told her how shes being rude and all she could say back was "rachelle i've been busy, some of us have to work you know"...so i told her im sorry her life is so busy that she cant make time for a friend and in the end..if she keeps that up..she wont have no friends at all...so we havent talked since then for over a year and the other day i get a call from her..and shes all "we should hang out again"..etc...so of course I said im really too busy anymore..i know it sounds rude but it made me feel tons better and ill see her now and again and i dont feel hurt or anything anymore..she was just someone i knew in the past and i have great friends now who showed me she was never the definition of a "friend" cause if she was she'd never treat me like that...so after writing this book..i agree tina..u shouldnt bother with her again
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http://www.myspace.com/rachelle423
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I agree with you. No sense wasting my time with her.
I think you did the right thing telling your friend that you were too busy now. Her loss!
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Thanks Nat. Maybe in a few days it will sink in that I won't be writing to her anymore. Maybe she'll think I'm silly, maybe she'll be slightly sad. Who knows! Who cares. Anyone that talks to me in the demeaning tone cannot be a friend of mine.
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DITTO! From the little I've seen of her from her emails it is 100% her loss, you're the cool, funky, lovely intelligent one and she's worse off without you.
There's so many things to worry about in life the last thing we need is friends who make us feel bad too. Move on with a smile!
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http://ibsblondie13.blogspot.com/
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Hey Tina,
I think I missed most of this already, but thought I'd pop my head in to say sorry that your friend has upset you so much. I think, and I could be wrong, that from the tone of her eMail and everything that she sounds like she is just all wrapped up in her own stresses and didn't like being criticised for anything. I think there are some people who just can't handle any sort of criticism and get all defensive without really considering anyone else's side.
If I were you, I wouldn't keep writing her back and forth about it. In her response to you, it sounds like she doesn't want to get into it and just doesn't think she's done anything in error and if that's the case, you won't be able to convince her otherewise. I would just let sleeping dogs lie, before you let yourself get wrapped up in it. It is probably upsetting you more than her.
Hope you are feeling better about the whole thing!
**hugs**
Steph
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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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Thanks Stephie. I'm sure you're right and it's upsetting me more than her.
I've decided I don't want to do the back and forth thing and I'm just not going to even write back to her.
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Thanks Caroline for all the nice things you said about me. It is HER loss.
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Yeah, stay mad! She's a total beotch!I just saw this post just now, and want to offer my heartfelt condolences in the form of a nasty letter. Feel free to edit at will!
Dear [name],
Thanks for the carefelt response. Not. Giving you the benefit of the doubt, I see your flu-addled brain has warped your sense of your friendship's importance to me. Actually I have a number of close friends I remain close to, but I doubt you'd know any of their names as they don't run in the same dogpack as you. I guess you've never been told the world doesn't stop just because you don't have time for it. I've gotten on with my life and originally wanted to touch base to be nice. I'm not burdened by THAT particular feeling anymore. Feel free to lose my address. Loser.
Tina
OK, that was fun. You're a sweetheart, Tina, and don't need that mess of a girl dragging you down. {{{BIG HUGS}}} and lots of friendship,
Your FRIEND,
~nelly~
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Ok no emaiks for months and now three in one week. Guess she somehow finds the time.... smirk. Oh ya, I never replied to her second email.
Here's the latest.
Quote:
Hi Tina,
I don't want you to be upset by this. I know it's hard being in a new city and meeting people. I will try harder to email you. It's just hard sometimes when I have so many things on my mind right now.
Emily
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NELLY!
#264814 - 05/22/06 01:54 PM
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That was a GREAT response. See below (way below) for the response I sent her care of Blondie. It was great!!!
She did write me a new email after not hearing back from me.
Here it is so you don't have to go searching, this post is HUGE.
Quote:
Hi Tina,
I don't want you to be upset by this. I know it's hard being in a new city and meeting people. I will try harder to email you. It's just hard sometimes when I have so many things on my mind right now.
Emily
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...and I think I can tell you exactly why - because you didn't reply suddenly she's worried you're not all that bothered about her or wound up by her, which really doesn't fit with her need for superiority!!
Whatcha gonna do, any ideas? All good either way - you have plenty of true friends no matter what you decide to do about this 'friend'...
--------------------
http://ibsblondie13.blogspot.com/
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Hey! I was shocked to see ANOTHER email from her. I was out for the entire day and seeing her email was shocking. I have to admit that the effort that she's suddenly making is scoring her some itsy-bitsy points. I still don't know if I'll write back or wait. I have a hard time holding grudges.
Any ideas? I can tell you that I was very tempted to write back and say that I was out for the day and tell her bout other exciting happenings but then I thought twice. Instead I emailed back Nelly! Which was way more fun!
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Do you think you'll give her the benefit of the doubt, and give her another chance?
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This sounds like an effort to make peace...take it for what it is and reply if you like but perhaps guard your heart a but so as not to get disappointed.
Don't hold a grudge...it's not worth it and it doesn't affect Emily a bit, just you!
--------------------
Have a blessed day! Rachel
Formerly poochibelly...
I have IBS but it doesn't have me!
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I am leaning toward doing that. I have lost so many friends from the old gang that to add another to the list would make three and I wouldn'tbe able to not take that personally.
Not sure what I'll do.
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My opinion
#264835 - 05/22/06 02:05 PM
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Augie
Reged: 10/27/04
Posts: 5807
Loc: Illinois
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I think this is her way of saying she's sorry. I don't think she wants to lose you as a friend, Tina. She now realizes that she was taking you for granted. I would reach out to her and see how it goes.
--------------------
~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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You may be right Bethie.
Thanks!
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You're so right Rachel about the grudge.
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shes getting the message now and its up to you whether you want to hold grudges or not but judging what I know of your character by now Im guessing you're not gona right?? Life is too short for silly grudges over things...my flatmate whos pregnant had a major falling out with us abotu a month before she found out she was pregnant and dissappeared for 3 weeks, when she returned we had a huge argument and I really thought that was it for our friendship for a little while and I really thought that our friendship had meant nothing to her by the way she was acting....we let it pass and decided to never talk about it again...now she's needed our support more than ever and we've become so much closer recently...it seems so strange to think I even contemplated us not being friends anymore. I think you should email her back and see what happens from there....
--------------------
Natalie
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We'll see how she responds. I wish she would have just emailed me sooner and none of this would have even happened!
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It sounds like she knows youre not gonna be the first to give in, so she had to, shes making an effort to maybe fix things?...you treated her the way she treated you (good for you by the way, not writing back to the other one!) and she didnt like it and maybe thats what it took for her to realize what shes doing, so she wrote that email.. i would write her back but dont get too close.. just my opinion
--------------------
http://www.myspace.com/rachelle423
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Here:
Quote:
Ok this IS silly. I hate grudges and fighting.
I think I was upset the most because to me it sounded like you didn't believe me that I'm doing so well and am so happy. You of all people have heard the good and the bad. I would tell you if I was miserable, I'm not. And of course I was a bit offended that I didn't hear from you much. I took that as disinterest in keeping in touch and remaining friends.
Moving here and marrying Tommy has changed my life so much for the better. I'm very content and feel so safe with him. This city rocks and I feel like I've lived here my whole life which is kinda strange but true.
I don't mind if you only email me every 2 weeks if that's all you have time for, but I guess that's ok as long as I know that I AM going to hear back from you at some point.
Tina
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I did write back and expect that she'll return the email sometime this week. But after that, I will not hold my breath for her. That's a promise.
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Tee hee
#264853 - 05/22/06 02:34 PM
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Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
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I think she's a passive-aggressive busybody!! You so don't need this. You have it all and it looks like she has nothing better to do than burn bridges. She should really just not be trying to start something via email. I roll my eyes in her general direction (North)!!
I think your other response was dead on!! I have a way of calling people out when I'm pissed off, but I agree your way was the way to go. It's a lot of fun writing acid letters, though, even if I don't get a chance to send them!!
I think we can all relate to someone acting like her!! No doubt this post has so many responses!! See how many people are ready to jump to your defense?
~nelly~
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She wrote back to my email right away:
Quote:
Hi Tina,
Good to hear from you. If you have a teacher for a friend you have to expect delays!!! You are NOT the only friend I haven't gotten back to. It's true you have more time than me these days. It has nothing to do with our friendship. So don't worry. I was even thinking of coming to visit you during the summer if this is okay. Maybe mid-July.
Not too keen on her mentioning a visit just yet as I was about to end the friendship with her just yesterday! I am not going to write back to her email today either.
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Tina.. I think that it is a good sign.
I personally would give her the benefit of the doubt. She said she experienced some loss recently in the last few weeks, and she's a teacher and school is ending within the month so I know exactly how she feels seeing as though I work in a school. I think by her responses today it shows that she does want to make time for you, which is a good sign.
--------------------
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The fact that so many people have been in my corner is AMAZING! It feels REALLY good expecially since I haven't met anyone here yet. (In my letter that I never set I lied and said I made a yoga friend -- false). he he
And yes, we can all relate in some way. I think most people that have replied to this post have lost a friend at some point and remember how it felt.
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Thanks Ashley. I think she's trying to make peace too. I have another teacher friend and yes she's SUPER busy but weekends are a time that's she's always been able to catch up on her emails. But whatever... some people are better than others at keeping in touch.
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thats an excellent response to her
--------------------
http://www.myspace.com/rachelle423
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Is it? Cool. I'm not usually good at responses. Maybe I'm getting better!
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